by Shelt Garner
From what I can tell of MAGA’s take on the growing Corona Virus crisis, our addled Dear Leader believes that through sheer force of will he can escape any political consequences from what may be about to happen. He has every reason to believe this. Because about 35% of the population is deathly afraid of “scary brown people” and women with sexual agency, they are willing to give our doofus president absolute power. Absolute. Power.
So, it’s worked before, so why won’t it work again? A lot of people die from the flu each year, so House Trump believes they can message the base such that they shrug the whole thing off. They tell them they’re “patriots” for voting for Trump should there be a deep recession this year and, besides, Biden’s son is a criminal and Sanders is a Communist. Lulz! They think Trump will win exactly the same way he did last time — help from the Russians and a divided opposition. By 2022 he gets his Constitutional Convention to “pass a balanced budget amendment” and he gets to hand over the family business over to the doofus crown prince sometime around 2030.
There’s a problem for them now, however — Coronavirus. If it turns into the biggest domestic catastrophe since the Civil War, it’s at least POSSIBLE the MAGA death cult…might notice? If the economy locks up, the old die and the young starve, it’s within the realm of possibility that Trump’s absolute lock on the presidency might…maybe…work with me here…be a little less absolute?
The next few days — hell, hours — could be crucial. A lot of what is going ot happen may be determined by what has elapsed over the weekend when the Sunday morning political chat shows take place. If a dozen states report cases of Coronavirus and the entire nation is freaking out, then, well, that MIGHT be a little bit more difficult to write off as a simile “liberal media hoax” created by evil liberals who want to hurt our deranged Chauncey Gardner’s fee-fees out of spite. (Look way from the “fuck your feels” mantra of 2016, huh?)
The possibility that Trump’s absolute need to win at all costs slams against his absolute realization that he’s going to be blamed for the death of thousands (millions?) and while he’ll obviously still win because of Russian hacking, that at some point he might have an existential issue on his hands. At that point, he’s going to snap. He is going to lose his fucking mind. He may shut down the Internet. Shut the borders entirely. Order the Air Force to shoot down passenger planes. Tell his followers to murder people he doesn’t like. Whip out his cock and start to masturbate on TV. You name it, he might do it.
The issue for me is, how long before — should the worst happen — the entire country grinds to a halt socially and economically and Trump’s “Hoax Gambit” fails completely? The earliest it would fail, I think, would be Feb 29th. The latest it would fail would be the Ides of March, March 15. There’s something of a spectrum between those two dates, as well, of course.
It will definitely be interesting to see how bad things get before Trump either completely fucking loses his mind, or he, at last, reluctantly for a moment stops thinking about power, or his checkbook or the stockmarket and starts thinking about us, his charge.
He’s a fucking racist idiot. He may never do. He may, instead, simply end civilization rather admit defeat. I wish I was joking. And if you think I have “Trump Derangement Disorder,” let me tell you in advance to eat shit you piece of shit. The lives of millions are at stake and this is not a simple policy debate or me not liking Trump as a person. He’s a fucking idiot and a traitor. And if you support him, you’re complicit, you cockholster.