‘A Forgettable Man’ — Lyrics To BritPop Anti-Trump Protest Song

These lyrics are about Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak and how no one who meets him seems to remember the meeting. In my imagination, the music to this would be slow and melodic like a Blur song. But, again, no one cares about any of these lyrics and I’m just writing them to try my hand at telling a story in verse in a way that’s expected to be sung.

A Forgettable Man
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

people meet him day and night
but when you ask them about it
they seem full of fright
what’s to be said about this all
when at the center of this pall is

a forgettable man
Sergey Kislyak
a forgettable man
Sergey Kislyak
what’s up with all of that

Trump may have colluded
with our enemy
but it seems to me as though
no one can see the obvious
the spymaster is controlling things
Sergey Kislyak
Sergey Kislyak
Sergey Kislyak

now we’re going to have to address
the fact that we’re in duress
there’s little we can do now
but express our pain and fear
everything we hold dear is in danger
Sergey Kislyak
Sergey Kislyak
Sergey Kislyak

a forgettable man
Sergey Kislyak
a forgettable man
Sergey Kislyak
what’s up with all of that

[bridge]
we need to be brave
need to explain the problem
let’s pave the way to the truth
is my refrain

but how do we get the truth
when all Trump does is lie and lie
where are the tapes, I sigh and sigh
maybe one may knows
a forgettable man
Sergey Kislyak
a forgettable man
Sergey Kislyak
what’s up with all of that

It’s Up To Silicon Valley To Fix The Trump Mess

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Donald Trump used his strangely adept ability at using Twitter to become, of all things, President of the United States. So, while I’ve suggested in the past that maybe a Constitutional Amendment might fix this issue, that is fanciful and a much more realistic fix would come from Silicon Valley.

It’s highly unlikely they will do anything because, well, they’re too interested in VR and AR at this point to be bothered with saving the American Republic with a new social media platform. But if you did manage to get them to be interested in doing just that, what might we suggest?

I have talked at great length about what a new social media platform might have in it and if you really want to understand the concept, I suggest you go to my Instagram account. But in general, it seems as though if there was a “Twitter killer” that fixed some of the major problems of that service that managed to produce Trump in the first place, then maybe we won’t have to endure another loony celebrity becoming president.

It seems as though if you were fixing Twitter with a new service you would make Verified Accounts have not only more power but more responsibility in some way. Make them feel like stakeholders in some way. Additionally, I feel giving people not just 140 characters but essentially a whole webpage to make their case might improve the situation dramatically.

Lastly, if you were to hook all this up to threaded discussions like you once had with Usenet, then something pretty cool would happen.

But I have no money, can’t code and don’t want to learn, so this is just me doing a little venting out into the void. Meh.

The New Normal Of Trumplandia: A Constitutional Amendment Is Needed

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

It seems pretty obvious that we need to stop raging against our loony, doofus of a president and settle for a long fight. This is not a sprint but rather a marathon and it should be treated as such. Donald Trump isn’t going anywhere and we need to realize he is going to do real damage to the country in the four to eight years he will be president.

Having said all that, how do we prevent something like Trump from happening again? It seems as we need an expansive, well thought out Constitutional Amendment directed at specifically fixing what we have learned about the problems in our presidential election system.

This proposed Constitutional Amendment would:

1. Overturn Citizens United
Only by managing the “dark money” associated with corporations being people can we begin to expect to have better candidates.

2. Tinker with the Electoral College
It is pretty much impossible to get rid of the Electoral College altogether because both parties have a vested interest in it continuing. But what if you said something like, if there was a problem with the voting on Election Day, that there was a mechanism to have a new election a few weeks later. That would mitigate, if not fix some of the issues we’ve had in recent years.

3. Lightly manage the First Amendment during the last days of an election
It wouldn’t take much, but maybe you could say access by people outside the American media would be lightly managed. Something to make it more difficult for Russians — or whomever — to screw with our otherwise free and fair elections.

It’s highly unlikely any of this would happen as I’ve suggested in previous posts, but it makes me feel better to vent about it.

‘Trumplandia’ — Lyrics To A Neo-Punk Protest Song

The music to this would be an updated version of something like Anarchy In The UK. Something really hard and scary. There might even be a little bit of a rap-punk fusion to this song. Regardless, this is meant to be an updated version of a Sex Pistols song.

Trumplandia
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

Ignorance has descended
there’s nothing more to say
quit it with your dismay
we all live in Trumplandia now
fight the power
in this hour of need
I refuse to get on my needs
I refuse to pledge loyalty
I refuse to kiss the king’s ring

welcome to Trumplandia
welcome to Trumplandia
we will defeat it yet
that’s my hope as I fret

we’ve got to take to the streets
tie up the laces of your shoes
you know what to do, what to do
make sure the fascists don’t know
that they don’t know what hit’em
we may think we’re weak
Trumplandia may have come
but just wait and see

welcome to Trumplandia
welcome to Trumplandia
we will defeat it yet
that’s my hope as I fret

[bridge]
nothing will change
if you don’t fight back
vote, vote, vote
for what you believe

we’ve got to believe
that one day we’ll be free again
that the Bannon’s grip will loose
but that will only happen if you believe
you’ve got to be ready to do what’s right
to fight with all your might

‘Eyes Wide Cuck’ — Lyrics To A Public Enemy-Like Old School Hip-Hop Song

The thing about Public Enemy is they were really directly political in their lyrics and so this would be a homage to their type songs. Again, I just write lyrics like these because it’s relaxing. I know it’s unlikely they will ever be produced for various reasons. This is pretty much a first draft.

Eyes Wide Cuck
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

a demagogue from the Big Apple
has control of the land of the dapper and the sad
Trumplandia is here to say I’m afraid
say it loud but not proud
America is on her knees and
Trump wants her to slop his knob
wants her to kiss his ring, if you know what I mean
we all saw this coming
we were warned, I’m afraid
Trump says he’ll make traffic move
that the buses will run on time
some people believe him so what are we to do
Congress won’t do its job
it’s controlled by Vichy Republican slobs
I look around with my eyes closed and say

eyes wide cuck
eyes wide cuck
eyes wide cuck
eyes wide cuck

America is going to have to fight
fight for her freedom from these chains
what are we going to do I say and say
some people like living eyes wide cuck
they want their freedoms taken away
I say this with much dismay
but with any luck things will change
no longer will we live in Trumplandia
we’ll find some freedom again
people won’t feel the need to flee
the land of the free
but for the time being it seems
we’ll get no relief from these things
Mr. Bannon has the keys to the car
he’s hitting us really hard
it’s going to leave a bruise and a scar

eyes wide cuck
eyes wide cuck
eyes wide cuck
eyes wide cuck

‘Lordy’ — Lyrics To An Anti-Trump Rap Protest Song

These lyrics aim to be something akin to Kanye West’s “Monster.” I am not suggesting that I am nearly as good a writer as the people who produced that song, but I do enjoy telling stories in verse and so this is me trying my hand with rap lyrics. The usual issues of this being written really fast and the fact that the system is built on preventing people people like me from breaking into the industry. Though this is supposed to be a homage to Kanye West, the structure is probably a little closer to an old school hip-hop song.

Lordy
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

hook
(James Comedy at his hearing)
Lordy, I hope there are tapes
Lordy, I hope there are tapes
Lordy, I hope there are tapes

Comey came to the Capitol
not looking to pay
he came to slay
he came to say
the president is a lair
it’s obvious for the blind to see
he may be nascent to the scene
but he’s the worst leader to be seen
we all know there are no tapes
the only tapes that exist
are the ones with hookers pissing on sheets
my life won’t be complete until I see those tapes
cause the FBI got its eyes on this Trump guy
we all know the hooker tapes exist

hook
(James Comedy at his hearing)
Lordy, I hope there are tapes
Lordy, I hope there are tapes
Lordy, I hope there are tapes

so we’re stuck with the insane
this is the new normal I’m afraid
the president and FBI have come to blows
come to rhetorical blows
when two tribes fight
only our enemies find delight
we seem to be out of luck
but we have control of our fate
we could have elected Hillary
yet what do we have now
but a liar and traitor
pushing liberty aside
for whatever reason, you decide

hook
(James Comedy at his hearing)
Lordy, I hope there are tapes
Lordy, I hope there are tapes
Lordy, I hope there are tapes

so when Judgment Day comes
and the Vichy Republicans get a backbone
maybe we’ll find out one way or another
if there are tapes or not
but until that day let’s rage against the night
’cause Trumplandia has conquered America
there’s no fighting back these days
I still have hope though
that one day we’ll get the truth
one day we’ll see the tapes
the tapes of Russian hookers pissing in place

hook
(James Comedy at his hearing)
Lordy, I hope there are tapes
Lordy, I hope there are tapes
Lordy, I hope there are tapes

Don’t Rage, Engage: Cool It On Trump Impeachment Talk For Right Now

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

The more I think about it, the more I realize that all the energy people like me are spending on how we’re going to impeach Donald Trump is just wasted time and energy. For the time being, it’s just not going to happen.

There just isn’t anything that Trump could do at this point that would lead to his immediate impeachment. Nothing. Nothing at all. Whatever you can come up with, that would not do it. The Vichy Republicans are so callow, so Vichy that even if Trump really did strangle someone on 5th Avenue, nothing would come of it. There is some doubt as to if you can actually try a sitting president for criminal offenses at all.

The issue is, impeachment is a political process. And, really, that’s the only way to address any sort of malfeasance on the part of the president. So, there’s just nothing we can do right now. We are going to just suffer Trumplandia. We’re just going to have to deal with whatever horrible thing Trumplandia manages to produce between now and fall 2018.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, if you consider yourself a member of The Resistance, stay energized and vigilant, but for the time being spend the energy you would exert on outrage and planning your impeachment parties on staying engaged not only politically but in your efforts to cross the political divide.

Now, roughly a year from now, things will be different. The issue will be The Resistance will have to be just as pumped when it comes to voting as Trumplandia is. Trumplandia won in 2016, in part because they were just so hysterical about eight years of Obama that they were willing to eat at any of the bullshit that a demagogue like Trump managed to feed them.

I guess one way to look at this is — the base may have to make its own leaders. It may come down to the base deciding if we ever get rid of Trump at all. It’s possible that there will be no “Blue Wave” in 2018 and Trump will not only survive but prosper. That’s a real possibility. Let that sink in.

Regardless, we have about a year before things will look up. Given that the current news cycle is about 5 minutes, that’s a long, long, long, long time to have to bide our time. And that doesn’t even begin to address Trump trying to wag the dog or new Russian interference.

It could be that we might have Trumplandia for eight or 12 years. Remember, Reagan / Bush lasted for 12 years and the Democratic Party made a lot of mistakes a long the way. It all came down to fate, luck and the historical quirk of Bill Clinton.

Something similar may happen again. It’s kind of scary at this point, but better to realize the gravity of the situation instead of burning ourselves out.

‘Theresa May’ — Lyrics To A Pop-Rock Dance Song

The music to would be something akin to The Knack’s My Sharona, though the hook would be influenced by old school rap. This would be one level about a girl who won’t commit, while on another level it would be about a hung Parliament.

Theresa May
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

she’s the leader of the people
gives us all a scare
she won’t tell us yes or no
she’s always seems on the go
will we leave the union or not
that’s all we as

Theresa May
May not
Theresa May
May not

what we’re going to do next
is anyone’s guess
will she hold Trump’s hand
so he won’t fall
will she cut us off from the world
now that things are hung

I just can’t seem to get
the answer I want from her
she won’t give me an answer
all I know for sure is her name
Theresa May, Theresa May, Theresa May

Theresa May
May not
Theresa May
May not

[bridge]
so baby, don’t say maybe
give me what I want
give me an answer yes or no
something clear, don’t you know

she just smiles broadly
and says just you wait and see
I’ve got all the cards
maybe, maybe not

‘Lift This Cloud’ — Lyrics To An Anti-Trump Country-Pop Ballad

In my imagination, these lyrics would go with music similar to something like “Girl Crush” or “Million Reasons.” Something slow and melodic. Of course, you’d have to be kind of sly about how the lyrics are anti-Trump given that your typical country music listen probably would proudly consider themselves in the “basket of deplorables.”

Lift This Cloud
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you producer or perform

lift this cloud over our love
lift this cloud over our home
lift this cloud that I so bemoan
please lift this cloud
please lift this cloud
please lift this cloud

the rain seems on its way
it’s going to pour and pour
drive you away from me
the one I love and adore
please lift this cloud
please lift this cloud
for me

[chorus]
looking up at the sky
it seems though the cloud is here to stay
so lift that cloud as only you can
lift the cloud I say out loud
hoping you may listen to my plea

[bridge]
wish you’d call off this pain
with you’d call of this rain
lift this cloud
that’s giving me pain
without a doubt

let’s come together and hope
we’ll lift the cloud together
together so I don’t feel like a dope
we’re all going to find love again one day
this, at least, I pray

The Fire Next Time: How To Prevent The Russians From Hacking The Next Election

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I have already proposed some fanciful Constitutional fixes when it comes to how to prevent a foreign power, namely the Russians, from hacking into our election system. But is there any more practical manner to do that? One issue is that our system is so open that it’s difficult to come up with any fix that wouldn’t cause more harm than good.

In other words, just like building a wall is applying a sledge hammer to a social issue unnecessarily, so, too, the most obvious way to fix the issue of the Russians hacking into our election system: significant increase in regulation of the Internet would too easily be abused or other purposes. And that doesn’t even begin to address the issue of how it probably wouldn’t stand up to Constitutional scrutiny.

So, it seems like we’re fucked.

In desperation, if there was real political willpower to fix this problem, we might get the government to work in tandem with Twitter to lightly regulate bots and trolls from, say, six months out from election day. Something whereby we at least made it more difficult for Russian bots to fuck with people’s minds. But given that the Republicans are so completely Vichy when it comes to Donald Trump and the Russians, there simply is no willpower to do anything at all.

I honestly can’t think of any scenario where the issue of how to prevent Russians from hacking into our election cycle will be fixed anytime soon for any reason. It’s only going to get worse. It seems as though for the foreseeable future something we take for granted — free and fair elections — are, in fact, in danger and for once the problem isn’t even self-inflicted.

It’s all deep. It’s all very deep.