Self-Publishing Advocates On Tik-Tok Sure Do Love To Shit On People Like Me Who Want To Attempt To Traditionally Publish Their Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I totally validate anyone who wants to self-publish their novel. If you abide strictly by the cold, hard metrics of the real world, self-publishing definitely makes a lot of sense. You have to be wilfully delusional to believe you can get traditionally published — especially if you’re an old, CIS white male like me. But, guess what — I am wilfully delusional.

What bothers me is many self-publishing advocates on Tik-Tok seem to want to go out of their way to shit on my dream of being traditionally published. They pick apart all the problems with getting traditionally published. I’ve seen everything from how statistics are against you to the fact that you can’t pick your cover being cited as reasons to go the self-publishing route.

Jesus Christ is it all very annoying. Fuck off, you assholes.

I have a huge chip on my shoulder when it comes to my writing, so huge, in fact, that I’m willing to risk everything to pursue my dream of proving a point by getting traditionally published. From the very beginning, the point of the project has been to see how far I could get into the traditional publishing process before it became absolutely clear that I was going to have to self-publish.

The reason why this is at the forefront of my mind is not just the fact that I’m gradually leaving the “wilfully delusional” stage of the march towards attempting to be traditionally published, but I am constantly bombarded with a deluge Tik-Toks by self-publishing advocates who keep going on and on about how I’m an idiot to even attempt to get traditionally published.

I know one of the reasons why I keep seeing these self-publishing advocates on Tik-Tok is there is a massive cottage industry around self-publishing and so people are trying to make some money by facilitating others following them down that path. Even though I know this, I’m still fucking aggravated by how insistent all these self-publishing advocates are that I should give up my traditional publishing dream.

A big part of the whole process of going the traditional publishing route is how difficult it is. I’m going to be forced to go outside my comfort zone the moment I finish my novel and have to convince a gatekeeper that my “baby” is good enough to actually get traditionally published. The whole thing is exciting and dangerous and risky and I often find myself feeling pretty insecure about it all — hence how much I bitch and moan about self-publishing advocates shitting on my dream.

Anyway. I’m not ruling out going the self-publishing route. That may, in fact, be what ultimately happens. But not yet. I’m prepared to endure the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in my quest to be traditionally published. It’s definitely going to be interesting to see which comes first — civil war or me seeing my novel in the hands of readers.

MTG: Trump, Part Duh

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m growing more and more alarmed that everything we were afraid malignant ding-dong Trump was going to do, malignant ding-dong Marjorie Taylor Greene will actually do. I’m beginning to think that given the dynamics of modern American politics that it’s not Ron DeSantis we have to worry about, but MTG.

Marjorie Taylor Greene and Donald Trump at a campaign rally in Dalton, Ga., on Jan. 4, 2021.

A lot of conservatives — especially my Traditionalists conservative relatives — love the *idea* of DeSantis. But, from all the accounts I’ve seen, DeSantis doesn’t have much personality. He’s all thug and no fun. It’s just not very entertaining to the great unwashed masses. MTG, meanwhile, is just like Trump only younger and just enough more focused to be really, really dangerous. She’s got a craven nature to her that is alarming. She wants power and once she gets it, she could very well know how to weld it in a way that lazy, stupid Trump never could.

It’s easy to imagine Trump picking MTG as his veep, him winning in 2024 — if he doesn’t manage to start a civil war along the way — and because he’s so fucking fat and old that he shuffles off this mortal coil and MTG becomes POTUS.

So, I think we should definitely take the threat of MTG seriously. The same metrics and corruption in our system that put Trump into the presidency could very well do the same thing with her. If it happened, all everyone will talk about is how much it’s just like Trumplandia, only worse because MTG knows what’s she doing and has the energy to implement her dystopian vision.

America is in big trouble and I have no ready answer as to how to avoid autocracy or civil war between now and, say, spring 2025. Good luck.

Endgame 2025: Managed Democracy

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

While I continue to vacillate widely between thinking we’re going to have a civil war in late 2024, early 2025 and thinking we’re going to simply give up and become an autocracy, I see clear path towards the latter at the moment. Given what happened to the Roman Republic, I think there is a really good chance we’ll become a zombie democracy.

Or, put another way, if we’re able to avoid a civil war as part of the next election cycle, it seems logical that we’ll continue to ostensibly be a democracy but, in reality be anything but. We’ll become a legalistic, autocratic “managed democracy” like they have in Russia. A lot of how this goes down exactly will depend on if it’s Trump or DeSantis who is the GQP’s 2024 presidential nominee.

If it’s Trump, then, lulz, the possibility of the United States having a civil war grows significantly. If it’s DeSantis, then, yeah, we’ll probably lurch towards a few presidential cycles where we all think we’re a democracy, but, in fact, we’ve finally transitioned into autocracy. I just don’t see DeSantis ever peacefully leaving office.

He’ll pull a Putin and be POTUS for eight years, then become Speaker of the House and be the power behind the throne until he gets around to having enough power to call a Constitutional Convention. All of this would be happening in the context of millions of smug Twitter liberals fleeing the country for the four corners of the globe.

Our current political situation is very unstable and untenable. Something’s gotta give. This is very much the quiet before the storm. And as I keep saying, the only thing that really worries me is America’s original sin, race. It’s because of race that I could see us zooming past Russia’s form autocracy into something a lot closer to Nazi Germany.

I’m A Survivor

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

While I’m not prepared to go full prepper, I do think that we have to take the idea of Something Big happening between now and, say, spring 2025 seriously. I don’t quite know what that Something Big might be, but, whatever it is, it will be pretty bad.

To the point that I — and millions of other Americans — may become domestic political refugees. I’m really concerned that the hyperpolarization we’re experiencing at the moment is precursor to a National Divorce and, as such, a Second American Civil War. And if it happens, it’s going to happen like a thunderclap.

In fact, if I had the means, I would already be back in South Korea living as a long-term expat again. I’m that concerned about what’s about to happen to the United States. Though, I have to admit that if the United States goes belly up that WW3 would probably break out and being in South Korea when that happens probably isn’t ideal.

If the worst happened, I would use the existing refugee infrastructure that would have sprung up by that point to head north. My ultimate goal would be somewhere like New York City where I think I would be able to make the most difference. U.S. Grant did a whole lot of nothing for most of the 1850s, who knows, The Finger of God might point at me as part of a Second American Civil War and I might be able to make the best of a very bad situation.

That’s me being extremely delusional, I know, but it’s better than moping about how it’s possible that instead of struggling to get my first novel published soon, I’m going to be struggling just to survive.

A Star Is Born: Apple Martin As The New ‘It’ Girl

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The fact that nepo-baby Apple Martin (daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow) is old enough to be thrust into the public eye is something that is going to take a little while to get used to. But, here she is. The issue about Ms. Martin is she actually brings something to the table. She, like Iris Law, is gifted with some pretty potent genes. Her beauty is definitely unique enough beauty to warrant her being called an “It Girl.”

Apple Martin

She’s a real stunner — drop dead gorgeous.

Ms. Martin has a very unique look. I’ve seen where someone on Tik-Tok compared her to Brigitte Bardot. But at the tender age of 18, I think she has a long career ahead of her. She is one of the rare nepo babies who actually can bring the goods.

It will be interesting to see what happens next. We might expect to see her cast in a streaming TV or movie. Or, she could also start off as a model. The sky’s the limit for Ms. Martin at the moment because people are willing to look past how she’s a nepo baby.

Things Are Stabilizing

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

After nearly a month of spinning my wheels, I’ve managed to stabilize the scene sequence of my outline. The sequence and scene count are not perfect by any means, but things are just about where I want them to be. I continue to be worried about word count and how my age might, unto themselves, prevent me from getting a book deal.

I can now, hopefully, zoom through the first act and start to get into the second act. I’m hoping that the treading water problems I’ve been having comes from now really knowing how to build the foundation of the story and now that I have that sorted out the rest of the writing will go much, much faster.

At least, that’s the belief at this point.

If I’m ever going to even be in a position to query, I have to actually finish the fucking novel. It will be interesting to see how things progress. I think I’m going to take one of my occasional writing “pauses” for a few days that allows me to come roaring back and get things done.

I do this on occasion because I can get so wrapped up in my own mind that I “run hot” and really don’t progress very much. Just a pause of a day or so can really cause the writing afterwards to be significantly better. That’s the goal. I still hope to finish the first draft by no later than, say, May.

Is Tik-Tok At It Again?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I don’t know what to tell you, folks, but Tik-Tok is up to its old “digital telepathy” tricks again. The first instance is not so obvious, while the second is really, really spooky.

Ok. So, the first instance of Tik-Tok getting way, way too close to comfort, as if it’s rooting around in my mind is I got pushed a video of someone pretending to be concerned about turbulence during a flight. This is something I think about a lot — that if I ever make it big and get to become a smug “bi-costal” liberal that when I suddenly find myself flying all the time that I’m going to have a lot of angst over turbulence.

The second instance is really, really, really spooky.

For a long-term scenario I’ve been toying with, I’ve been thinking really hard about the capital of Australia. I thought it was Sydney until I realized today it is actually Canberra. Just a moment ago, I was pushed a video of someone noting this very thing.

That’s just wild.

But, correlation is not causation, so lulz?

MTG’s ‘Velvet Fist?’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I really don’t know what to make of Marjorie Taylor Greene. If there was ever a ping from an extremely dark future, it is the rise of MTG on the political scene. Apparently, MTG has Speaker McCarthy by the short ones and he is something of her plaything.

The thing about MTG is she seems just a tick or two away from being just as bonkers as Trump. And, yet, she also far more focused and power hungry in an actionable way than Trump. While Trump pretty much just flails around, not really doing anything, it seem as though given actual power that MTG might be actually be the autocrat that Trump wants to be.

As I have often said, the issue of the moment is not so much Trump as who he will pick to be his veep in 2024. Trump is so old and fat that if he manages to become POTUS again without causing a fucking civil war, then whomever is his veep could very well be on the fast track to becoming POTUS.

As such, I’m growing more and more alarmed with MTG. It could be her, not Trump or DeSantis who will be our first autocrat. But she would have to win the veepstakes first. There are any number of fucking would-be autocrats who Trump could pick. Everyone from Pompeo to Hawley are chomping at the bit to be Trump’s veep and, as such, our first autocrat.

I don’t think people really appricate who primed and ready the United States is for the type of legalistic autocracy that Russia has. In my mind, by definition, our next Republican president will be our first autocrat. A sizeable chunk of the American population — mostly white Christian men, natch — are all-in on the idea of autocratic MAGA fascism. They may not really articulate it that way, but from my conversations with my Traditionalist relatives — they want autocratic MAGA fascism.

What’s so comical about all of this is, of course, that when you press them on the consequences of what they want — that I would inevitably run afoul of the autocrat they want so much — they get really upset. They don’t seem able to connect the fact that while they would be Good Germans under the Fourth Reich, I, alas, am such a drunk loudmouth crank that it is inevitable that I would endup with an ICE bullet in the back of my head.

Anyway. What do I know.

First Of Us

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Everyone is so busy destroying the world in fiction, I find myself thinking about the opposite — given the opportunity, how would you rebuild civilization on a new, habitable planet in a new solar system? The key condition of the scenario would be that other than the high tech zapping that would be involved, humanity would be forced to work together using the present-day level of technology to bootstrap a global civilization back into existence.

Now, the issue at the moment is I have pretty great scenario but no plot. I need an excuse to run around this idea. What I like about this scenario is sort of the “I’ll give you something to cry about” nature of it. What if, on a macro basis, the United States was forced to make some high stakes macro decisions that would affect the lives of everyone on earth? Do we even have it within us to pull that off?

The point of the story, whatever it ultimately became, would be that people do strange things when macro power politics are involved. I mean, just think about how casually the Korean peninsula was divided after World War 2. That would be something this story explored — what if some “other” forced humanity to think up some some way to create a common global civilization?

I have an idea of how it would be done, but it would be so controveral and cause so much anger on the part of all non-Americans (and a lot of Americans, too!) that that, unto itself, would be the source of a lot of the plot.

But, again, at the moment, I just don’t have any plot. Nothing. Just a very expansive universe.

‘Sweetspot’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The sweetspot for a novel written by a first-time author is somewhere around the 80,000 to 100,000 word marker. It’s my impression that any more than that the cost of physically publishing the novel’s paper grows significantly. I have finally gotten my outline where I want it to be, but surprise, I currently have way too many scenes if you figure the average scene is about 1,000 words.

So, I have to make a decision. Keep the existing structure of the novel or slash and burn the scene count to cut things down to a more marketable size. Here’s the problem — while I have a starting point later on in the story, I just feel as though the only way to engage readers is with a longer story.

If I start the story at the later point I’m thinking about, then I just don’t feel audiences will really care as much. Yes, I get to the point of the story a lot sooner, but my concern is the story just won’t be as engaging. The characters won’t be as fleshed out and, as such, the overall story won’t be as readable.

Another thing is — the specifics of the novel, even in second draft, is very much in flux. What’s more, scenes aren’t always 1,000 words. The first draft of this novel was 120,000 words. My few alpha readers have found the story “intriguing” by not so much that they’re all that eager to read the whole thing. So, the thinking is if I really flesh out the characters and make readers care about them that they might actually want to finish the whole story.