Author: Shelton Bumgarner

I am the Editor & Publisher of The Trumplandia Report

Taking MTG’s Call For A ‘National Divorce’ Seriously

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The great irony regarding Marjorie Taylor Greene’s demand for a “National Divorce” is, of course, that if such a thing happened it’s going to be Blues who serve the papers.

MTG

I say this because MAGA is politically ascendant to the point that all they have to do is be patient and they’ll get the autocratic fascist state that they want so bad soon enough. By definition, our next Republican president will be the nation’s first autocrat. So, there’s really no reason for MAGA to want a “National Divorce.”

Meanwhile, it will be Blues in late 2024, early 2025 who have to make an existential decision about if they’re going to bend a knee to MAGA autocratic fascism or not. At the moment, I think it’s all going to be a lulz and we’ll just wake up in 20 years with the same Republican POTUS and wonder why we’re invading Canada.

In fact, I can’t think of any scenario where Red States leave the Union as part of a National Divorce. I suppose it’s possible that if A Democrat wins in 2024 that that, unto itself could cause Reds to leave the Union but given how craven Reds are, I just don’t see them allowing a Blue to win even if they win.

I suppose it’s possible that if we don’t know who POTUS is long after election day that that could spark a civil war, though I think in the end the U.S. Military would step in for a bit until passions cooled down. That sounds fantastical now, but stranger things have happened.

Imagining Citizen Musk Tweeting Out Hunter Biden’s Peen

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Someone said that they feared that the end game for Elon Musk and Twitter is that Citizen Muks is going to tweet out a dick pick. Given how Hunter Biden’s peen has featured so prominently in the whole bullshit “Twitter Files,” it makes a lot of sense that if Citizen Musk was going tweet out someone’s dick, it would be Hunter Biden.

Now, we live in a very fucked up era, so it could be that Musk would get away with it. Say he tweets it out as a “joke” then deletes it. After the shock wore off, I think all that would happen is the trickle of center-Left people leaving Twitter would become a deluge.

But, in the end, Musk would get what he wants — Twitter being mentioned up there with Fox News as a cornerstone of the MAGA conservative movement. And we’re so absolutely polarized that I think in the end, most people would just shrug and move on.

What Is ‘Citizen Musk’ Up To?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

While I still struggle to figure out what Elon Musk is up to, I think I may at least have a theory. While in the past a plutocrat would have bought a newspaper, Musk is trying to transform Twitter in a pillar of the Right wing echo chamber, up there with Fox News itself.

As such, he doesn’t really care that center-Left people on the service get fed up and leave for various dumb things he’s thought up to do. He figures that if he can corner the market on Right wing discourse that his fanboys will be so passionate about Twitter — and him — that they will be willing to pay for elements of the service that were once free.

So, if Post or Spoutable is flooded with center-Left refugees, he sees it — from a business standpoint — as something of a luz. Citizen Musk knows how profitable Fox News is and he knows that after the kinks are sorted out that he could make a lot — A LOT — of money from MAGA who may come to see Twitter as a “safe space” for all their hate fueled rage.

At least, that the only explanation I can think of for why Musk is acting so weird and driving half the userbase off the service.

The Beta Reader Process May Be A Real Pass in The Ass

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

After much, much struggle, my “little baby” — my first novel — is zooming towards being ready for the beta reader process. It’s not there yet, but I’m hoping that by around May – June I’ll be return to turn it over to someone else to read seriously.

Now, this is a problem for a number of reasons.

The biggest reason is, well, me. Just like I could probably produce a really good podcast if I could actually find a co-host, so, too, do I fear that something as basic as getting someone else to read this novel is going to be a real pass in the ass because, lulz, I have no friends and no one likes me.

But they say to get beta readers, you have to be one, so the idea of being a beta reader for any one who will let me is looming large in my mind. And, yet, you have to believe.

You have to believe in yourself that somehow, some way, you’ll figure out how to make things work. I have a similar thinking with the early days of ROKon Magazine and that world view worked…until it didn’t of course.

Anyway, I’m really pleased with this second draft of the novel. It’s finally just about where I want it to be. Too bad I’m an Old now.

Is Jon Lovett Leaving Crooked Media?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Something is up at Crooked Media. The Left-leaning news company’s go-to funny man Jon Lovett…seems to be not-so-quiet quitting. Not only has he been a bit hostile to the other bros of the podcast network, but he’s repeatedly been absent.

Now, as is their wont, the other members of Crooked have put on a brave face. They keep saying Lovett “doesn’t feel well.” And long-term listeners to Pod Save America know that Lovett and Tommy Vietor don’t really like each other.

As an aside, I think Vox Media and Crooked Media should consider merging. There are a lot of built-in synergies that might be exploited. I don’t know what the structure of Crooked Media is, so I suppose it’s possible that Lovett might be able to cash out if he left the company.

What Happens To TV After Streaming?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The whole TV world is obsessed with the battle over streaming. I think that not only is the whole streaming economy based on a lie, but it’s not long for this earth — it’s going to be soon replaced by the chatbot revolution.

Soon, instead of paying $15 a month for all this streaming content, you’re going to pay the same amount for access to the full body scans of your favorite stars that a chatbot will use to spit out very, very specific content.

I have no idea when this transition will happen, but it is going to happen. I suspect that at some point within the next decade. It may be delayed, of course, if we have a fucking civil war in late 2024, early 2025. But I seriously doubt that is going to happen.

What is more likely to happen is America will just drift peacefully into autocracy and, as such, the transition from streaming to AI generated TV and movies will happen a lot quicker than it might happen otherwise.

But only time will tell, I suppose.

I can’t predict the future.

SNL Succession Drama: The Case For John Mulaney

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Saturday Night Live finds itself at something of a crossroads. The case could be made that the show should end with the final show of its 50th season. All good things must come to and end and as, luz, there you go.

John Mulaney

Despite this, there has been a lot of talk about Seth Meyers replacing SNL’s current executive producer Lorne Michaels. But if you think back to the origins of SNL that it would make a lot more sense if SNL was handed to the 40 year old John Mulaney rather than the 49-year-old Meyers.

SNL was originally created by a then 30-year-old Michaels in 1975. So, I think it would make a lot more sense for someone a little younger than Meyers be the new leader of the show.

But, remember, in general, studio execs always screw things up, so it would make a lot of sense if SNL was just unilaterally canceled without any consideration to what might happen. I do believe, in general, that a streamer would pick SNL up or there might be a freak out to the point we’ll all be talking about the cultural significance of SNL and What It All Means.

It will be interesting to see how things play out.

Well, That’s Weird

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

In general, no one listens to me or cares what I have to say. I kind of drift through life in a total vacuum. This is happens most notably with the novel(s) I’m working on.

But I noticed just now in my Webstats that someone from my general area looked at this Website. I don’t quite know what to make of this. It’s very unnerving, if nothing else.

The idea that someone from my general location would be keeping an eye on my Twitter account — which is where they came from — is very, very unnerving. First, why would anyone care what I have to say and second, who might they be.

But, for the time being, I think the whole thing is a lulz.

Sometimes, I Get It Right

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

As I approach my 50th birthday, it really begins to hit home that it’s very possible that all signs point to me living in oblivion for the rest of my life. I will never get to become a smug Twitter liberal with a podcast who bounces back and forth between the coasts.

But, with that in mind, I have to point out that I called it when it comes to how MAGA through Ron DeSantis wants to use a Constitutional Convention to codify an American First, MAGA world view into our fundamental law. In short, the moment Trump – or DeSantis — is POTUS, we’re going to face the very real possibility that there will be a move to pass MAGA Enabling Acts.

I say this, despite the fact that all the Traditionalist in my family poo-poo this idea as ridiculous. But — a-HA — I’m right. But, really, I don’t want right, I want to change Traditionalists minds! But, lulz, that is never going to happen. In this era of hyper negative polarization, nothing matters.

There are macro trends that are taking place that we simply have no control over. Everything seems to been careening towards a massive clusterfuck in late 2024, early 2025 that who knows what the end result will be.

But I continue to believe that we have to take the idea of a Constitutional Convention at some point after 2025 seriously. It’s coming. The issue is, what are we going to do about it?

‘I’ll Give You Something To Cry About’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I totally validate the anger and fear that the Trans movement has that has led it to collectively be really touchy. Ok, I get it. But my concern is if Trans people think they have it bad now, just wait until we’re an autocracy. And that’s exactly what we’re going to become when we elect our next Republican president, whomever that may be.

And if there is absolutely no willingness to compromise on the part of the Trans movement, all they’re doing is pushing Traditionalists into the arms of fucking fascists. It will be people on the edges of society, like the Trans, who will suffer most under our new fascist, autocratic regime.

And, yet, what I’m noticing is part of a number of broad macro trends that there is absolutely nothing we can do about. The United States continues to careen towards the existential choice of autocracy, civil war or military junta in late 2024, early 2025. The only way we might punt this particular problem down the road another presidential cycle is if anti-MAGA forces are united enough that we manage to get a Democrat elected.

Even that, of course, isn’t perfect because Republicans may cheat or Trump — if he is the nominee — will scream that the election was stolen from him and that, unto itself, will cause a civil war. The most likely way we have a civil war is if we just don’t know who POTUS as Inauguration Day begins to approach.

Anyway, the point is — no one listens to me and there’s nothing I can do or say that is going to change anyone’s opinion on this matter. All I can do is figure out what I believe in, in the real world, and potentially prepare for the worse without turning into a deranged prepper.