Deadline To Begin The Beta Reader Process: Spring 2023

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m going to blow past the 100,000 word sweetspot, but I am on track to wrap up the first draft by the end of the year.

Because I’m so doing so well, I’m tempted to give myself some slack on the agenda front. The idea of pausing for a little bit to read and think is appealing, but I also need to just wrap things up so I can get ready for the second draft.

But the key issue is I have to do a lot of reading if I’m going to take things to the next level for the beta draft. One thing I’ve noticed is how often people ghost me whenever they agree to read any of my stuff.

And, yet, I’m very pleased with what I’ve managed to come up with when it comes to this specific novel attempt.

Time To Rock ‘n Roll With This First Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So, I’ve sketched out my agenda for the next year when it comes to this first novel in what is projected to be a six novel project. I hope to finish a way-too-long first draft by no later than, say, Christmas. Then, I’m going to turn around and start working on hopefully much-leaner and better second draft in to be finished by no later than around April – May.

Let’s rock.

Then, I will participate in beta reader programs so I can find beta readers for MY novel. Then, starting around late summer, early autumn, I will begin to query this first novel. I’m sure things will change some and a lot will go wrong, but that’s the general plan.

So, my goal is that in about a year, I will have a much better sense of how close my dream of being a traditionally published novelist will be. I really, really need to start reading other people’s writing, though. The time for living in wilful delusion is just about to wrap up.

The time of thinking about marketability and the nitty-gritty of how to take this novel to the next level has begun.

Will A Republican House Impeach Biden?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m always wrong. Always. Though, to be fair, I did get Trump running for POTUS again right. (Although, as of this writing, he hasn’t OFFICIALLY announced.) Anyway, it seems inevitable that the Republican House will impeach any number of Biden Administration officials. And here’s my humble opinion why.

Here’s a back-of-the-envelope prediction about all the potential impeachments we should expect in 2023 if Republicans do, in fact, take the House.

President Biden
It’s pretty clear to me that a Republican House will be so full of spite and rage and bloodlust for revenge that it’s very possible they may accidently on purpose impeach Biden for no apparent reason in the early days of 2023. It will be so transparent as to what is going on that House Republicans are going to do severe political damage to themselves. But it won’t matter — that political damage would only matter if we were a functioning democracy. But we’re no longer a functioning democracy, we’re in between autocracy and democracy — in other words, an “anocracy.”

There are at least two reasons why Biden will be impeached. One is, of course, his wastrel son Hunter Biden. The other is the “border crisis.” The big issue is will these be two seperate impeachments so Democrats will not longer have Trump being impeached twice as a talking point, or if these two issues will be fused together into one event.

At the moment, I honestly don’t know. There’s always a chance that MAGA Republicans will impeach Biden THREE times, for two reasons. They both scream at the top of their lungs that Biden is the only president to be impeached three times and at the same time they can, expo facto say it’s no big deal that Trump was impeached twice.

Veep Harris
I have no idea why House Republicans will impeach Harris, but they’ll think of something. Just the idea that they could somehow impeach and convict Biden and Harris in quick succession is enough to give them all a boner and they have no self control so they’re going to do it at some point between 2023 and 2025.

DHS Secretary Mayorkas
As I understand it, there’s already a move afoot by House Republicans to hit the ground running impeaching Mayorkas for his handling of the “border crisis.” So, there’s every reason to believe that he’s going to be impeached at some point between 2023 and 2025.

HHS Secretary Becerra 
This is a bit more speculative, but I could see that once the impeachment counter-revolution gets going that House Republicans will set their sights on Becerra for something connected to “gender affirming” care of minors. That seems like just the type of culture war edge issue that MAGA House Republicans would want to wallow in for a few months to prove a point. I could also see a potential impeachment article surrounding the Biden Administration’s handling of COVID — even though it was Trump who fucked that particular situation up. Who cares about facts when you have lies?

Education Secretary Cardona
This is also rather speculative, but once the monster of impeachment is unleashed, House Republicans may go after Cordona on the nebulous charge of encouraging “critical race theory” in schools — even if this is total bullshit. They just want to be able to hold hearings where they rant about CRT for hours on end. It will juice the base while “owning” the libs.

FBI Director Wray
If this happens, it will be a prime example of how wrapped up in their own bullshit MAGA House Republicans will be once they have power. Wray is ON THEIR SIDE and they will still come after him because something something Deep State.

Attorney General Garland
This is obvious — MAGA Republicans are so blinded by their anger over the Mar-a-Lago raid that they want to impeach Garland for approving it, despite it being totally justified given what Trump did.

There could be a few Federal judges that spark MAGA ire that will be impeached as well.

The first issue is for all the talk about how the narrow the House Republicans’ control of the House is — all they have to unite them is impeachment, which would be a part of the broader culture wars. So, it’s easy to imagine the Freedom Caucus, through sheer force of will, browbeating the more moderate(?) members of the Republican House Caucus into impeaching at least Biden, if not a few other people.

It would be one of those, “Might as well score those political points why we have the power to do so” type of things. They want to do all these baseless investigations and the end will be already written — impeachment. I get why some people think that these so-called “moderate” Republicans won’t go along with impeachment, but I call bullshit.

Being a “moderate” House Republican at this point is like being a “moderate” member of the NSDAP in 1933. A fucking fascist is a fucking fascist, no matter how “moderate” they may come across to clueless access journalists like Maggie Haberman.

So, I believe my predictions to date on the whole impeachment front will turn out to be correct. It’s in the nature of Republicans to get so wrapped up in the idea of punishing their perceived political enemies — despite the broader political costs.

I’m Not Prepared To Count Elon Musk Out Just Yet When It Comes To Twitter

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

There is a lot of talk these days that Elon Musk is going to drive Twitter into a ditch, declare bankruptcy and then walk away. While that may happen, I’m not yet prepared to write his chances of success off entirely.

Elon Musk

He has a track record of (turbulent) success to the point that it’s possible he’s going to pull this off — maybe. We’ll wake up a year from now and all these fanciful things that Musk wants to do with Twitter will be taken for granted as a part of life.

I say all this because the more I see how Musk operates, the more I see myself. I would do the exact same thing if I was Musk thrown into such a situation. I would make a lot of mistakes at first, but once I got my sealegs, I would shock everyone with how well I did.

But, then, I’m just a loser in the middle of nowhere, so I don’t know if anyone should take the above as any sort of ringing endorsement of Musk. Anyway, it will be interesting to see how all of this works out. It could be that social media is a whole different bird than SpaceX or Tesla. It could be that being an eccentric is so off putting to the userbase of Twitter that it’s inevitable that someone will swoop in with a better mousetrap.

And, yet, I’m just not prepared to assume this is the case. I’m taking a wait and see approach.

I’m Growing Alarmed Over What’s Going On With The Arizona Governor’s Race

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have no idea how exactly it would go down, but once bitten twice shy as the old saying goes and, as such, I’m growing more and more alarmed about what’s going on with the Arizona Governor’s race.

The thing about what happened on January 6th was there was some build up. It didn’t happen overnight. It was only after a few months of a slow-moving coup and a lot of preperation that the events of January 6th occured.

But the thing to remember about what’s going on in Arizona is that state — or at least its Republican Party — is one of the more bonkers of the Union. So, in a sense, it’s a perfect storm. If another January 6th-type event is going to happen, it’s probably going to happen somewhere like Arizona.

I have no idea exactly how it would go down, however. I suppose if you really wanted to wallow in MAGA delusion, you might even suggest that the type of “spontaneous” rolling political violence that Barbara F. Walter wrote a book about might happen because of what’s going on in Arizona at the moment.

The point is — keep an eye on Arizona. It could get pretty dicey — and violent — a lot sooner than you might otherwise think. I just don’t have any details as to what might happen specifically. Maybe a new Brooks Brothers’ Riot? Or just some sort of general violence on the part of MAGA cocksuckers wanting to get their point across?

Watch this space.

Maybe Mia Goth Should Play Lisbeth Salander in a Horror Version of The Series?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now that I find myself thinking really hard about the fourth novel in this projected six novel project, I find my attention returning to the sticky wicket that is Lisbeth Salander. (I haven’t really skipped books 2 and 3, but I want to do something different and working seriously on the fourth book allows me to do that and stay in universe.)

The thing about Salander is she’s the quintessential anti-hero. She’s just not very nice or likable. In fact, if you met her in real life, she would scare the fuck out of you. You would think she was going to strangle you to death. On the page — especially because of all the horrible things that happen to her — she’s a really engaging, interesting person that you care about and want to find out what is going to happen next in her life.

But on the screen…meh.

On the silver screen, she is so off putting that it’s difficult to get asses in the seats to sit through a 2 hour movie about her. Though, to be fair, I think if you got a really good horror movie director, like Ti West, to do a movie about Salander — maybe with Mia Goth as the titular character? — you could have a lot of success.

Mia Goth — a new Lisbeth Salander?

Or, put another way, if you marketed a new series of movies revolving around Salander as horror movies, there’s a built-in audience that might really get off on them. Just give up any hope of being a traditional mainstream franchise. Horror movies are really hot right now, so there might be a window of opportunity to pull it off.

But having said all that, my American homage to Lisbeth Salander — hopefully — will be A LOT more accessible. That’s the dream, at least.

Trump’s The Hundred Days (as Speaker?)

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Steve Bannon has suggested that Trump just become Speaker of the House, but only for 100 days. What would that be like? It would, of course, be a massive, catastrophic clusterfuck.

My fear if it happened is that Trump would end up dangling Red States secession over the heads of reluctant Senators when they had to sit as jurists in the inevitable impeachments of Biden and Harris. And that doesn’t even begin to address all the insane things that might happen because the MAGA faithful would want to “speed up the process” of getting Trump back into the White House.

In other words, there would be a lot of coup attempts — even if the whole disaster only lasted for 100 days.

But there is one key thing to remember about the Trump-as-Speaker scenario: on paper it makes way too much sense. I mean, what is all the leadership battles happening in the House about but who can properly suck up to Trump? Why not cut out the middle man and let Trump be Trump.

What more hateful, delicious revenge for Trump than for him to take the Speaker’s gavel directly from Nancy Pelosi herself? I’m very conflicted about this possibility because on one hand it might destroy MAGA once and for all, but on the other we would risk Trump getting REALLY LUCKY and becoming POTUS in 2023 – 2024 instead of 2025.

Anyway, I get the sense that, thankfully, we’re not going to have to worry about a Speaker Trump, even though we’re going to head a growing chorus of insane fucking MAGA cocksuckers who think it would be a GREAT idea. Fuck MAGA.

There’s a Reason Why Being a Published Author is a Big Deal

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m at the point in this six novel writing project where I’m beginning to mentally transition from the first novel to dabbling in the other five novels. While the focus is still very much with the first novel, I find myself thinking a lot about the four novel in the series.

But my main focus is on the coming second draft of the first novel, which I hope to start working on a lot in spring 2023. If I’m going to do this properly, I really need to start reading — especially my competition.

I’m reading another series of books that is obviously meant to do the same thing that I want to do — write an American homage to Stieg Larsson’s original three novels — and they seem so much better than anything I’ve written so far. And YET, I think if I play my cards right, that the second draft of this first book is going to be significantly better.

I just have to not fall into the trap of throwing everything up in the air and essentially starting from scratch. I need to use the basic framework of the first draft as the infrastructure to flesh out characters and make people really engaged in what I’ve written.

So far, today, I’ve gotten a lot of work done on the first draft of the first novel and I’m very pleased. I managed not to drink SO much that I just fell asleep like I so often do, it seems, these days. In fact, I’ve just about gotten my second wind. I’m ready to rock n roll.

Anyway, all this hard work is why successfully selling a novel via the traditional method with gatekeepers who inevitable think you suck is such a big deal. Even though there’s never been a test I didn’t fail when it came to such type things, I still believe that it’s at least POSSIBLE I might, for once, prove the haters wrong.

I might actually pull a move on people who refuse to take me seriously because they think I’m a joke, a drunk crank that daydreams too much. Only time will tell, I suppose.

MAGA’s Moment Of Truth

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I continue to dwell on the possibility that MAGA might, just might, not be the overarching popular fascist movement that I thought it was. Or, if nothing else, the context is a lot different than I thought.

What I mean is — not only was it something of a fluke that Trump won in 2016, but once he gave Republicans the red met of young hack MAGA judges and a plutocrat tax cut…the clock was ticking. So, when Trump, being a lazy dingus totally and completely blew what should have been an easy re-election bid to steal…he was on his way to broader defeat.

I’m not prepared to count Trump out just yet — he is still very, very popular for a would-be fascist autocrat relative to general American history. And, yet, the case could be made that if he has any political relevance left he’s going to have to fight for it. And, as we all know, Trump is both lazy and stupid. AND lacks any serious meta-abstract cognitive abilities.

He is, and has always been just a political grunt in macro terms. Rather than being a Great Man, Trump is just a vessel, an avatar for white Christian rage. If he wants to be POTUS again, he’s going to have to fight for it. If he had any abstract cognitive abilities he would realize that his best bet to be POTUS again is by becoming Speaker of the House and then impeaching both Biden and Harris…and maybe dangling the idea of Reds seceding from the Union over the heads of Senators.

But that’s a very devious and dialogical plot that, thankfully, Trump is just way, way, way too stupid and lazy to implement. At best, he might be drafted into being Speaker…but he would just thrash around, get Biden and Harris impeached….and that would be that…it would die in the Senate.

As such, there’s a real that Trump might — just might — be about to meet his political Waterloo. Someone like Ron “Too Short” DeSantis might win the GQP nomination instead of Trump — but that would be a very brutal fight if it happened. And, what’s more, Trump has such little allegience to Republicans that it’s very easy to imagine him simply bouncing to the Patriot Party out of spite…punting America’s otherwise inevitable transition into autocracy one more election cycle.

Logically, Trump Should Be The Next Speaker of The House

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

A Ploy to Convict Biden / Harris in the Senate
In this scenario, it’s 2023 and Republicans have gone nuts. They have impeached both Biden and Harris out of spite. Now, for Trump to actively be trying to destroy the country, he would, of course, need to have some personal investment in it. So, this one only really works if he is the Speaker of the House and he thinks he can become POTUS again early. So, in a bid to scare the living shit out of the Senate, he, as Speaker, begins to demand Red States leave the Union in order to get what he wants. He says this just as a rhetorical flourish, but MAGA legislatures take him seriously and states, probably beginning with Texas, begin to convene Secessionist Conventions. And away we go.

I wrote that scenario up some time ago and as Republicans begin a massive power struggle over who will be Speaker of the House, it begins to become more and more relevant. Any back of the envelope study of the current Republican struggle over who will be Speaker of the House tells you that, all things being equal, Trump should be the next Republican Speak of the House.

All the sturm and drang going on about the Speakership is battle over who will be Trump’s proxy in the House. So, the logical way to end that struggle is to cut the Gordian Knot by simply naming Trump to the Speakership. Trump is the one person that the entire House caucus could unite behind.

What’s more, it would also unite the Republican House caucus because it would put Trump in line of succession. House Republicans are going to impeach Biden and Harris anyway, they should be at least be intellectually honest for once and make it clear what they’re up to — a coup.

But it is very easy to imagine Trump becoming Speaker, impeaching both Biden and Harris and then inciting violence on the part of the MAGA New Right to such an extent that Senate Democrats feel forced to convict them “for the sake of the nation.”

Then Trump comes back early and we’re right back where we started from in January 2021, with Trump demanding to stay in office forever because of “lost time.”

But — and this a huge but — Trump is not a Great Man. He’s just very lucky, very lazy idiot. As such, I would be shocked if he was able to pull himself away from running again in 2024 to be Speaker for, say, 100 days as Steve Bannon has suggested.

Trump just doesn’t have the abstract mental capacity necessary to be Speaker. But there’s another big unknown — what happens if a big chunk of the Republican House caucus drafts Trump to be Speaker? Would that be enough to entice him to do it for the specific purpose of leading the impeachment of both Biden and Harris?

At this point, this seems like just another daydream. But….it is an interesting scenario.