#COVID19 #Pandemic Scenarios: How A Continuation Of Government Crisis Might Play Out

Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner

It’s very possible that all of our events at “blunting the curve” will work and we’ll walk away from our current panic rather unscathed. Trump will crow that he was right all along, indict Joe Biden, and lose the popular vote and win the Electoral College. That’s a very real possibility at this point.

But let’s assume the absolute worst happens. What are some the different ways we might find ourselves wondering who, exactly, the president is in the next 10 days or so.

Since “death be not proud” there are a lot — a LOT — of different combinations and spectrums that might occur. Everything from Trump being the last man standing, only to go completely bonkers, to Nancy Peolosi serving as a caretaker president for a few months to ensure we have a functioning government so we can have free-and-fair elections in the fall.

But those are just the most obvious.

There are also so pretty some surreal situations. Depending on how quick the crisis developed and the exact sequence of events you could have everything from President Hakeem Jeffries to, glup, a more obscure member of Trump’s shitty cabinet being president during a period of unprecedented rebuilding. I could even see severe political violence over the issue of who, exactly, president is if there was some question in the context of replacing a lot of SCOTUS. That would be a recipe for something akin to a civil war, in fact, given how absolutely obsessed the most extreme sides of the two parties are about its make up.

If things got bad enough, it’s within the realm of possibility that out of sheer desperation the military might step in and tell everyone to cool it just long enough to stabilize the country so the Census and the 2020 Election can take place in peace.

Or, if you really want to get into the absolute worst case scenario, you might have Trump finally fucking snap in a rather spectacular fashion and Congress is so sick that it can’t summon the energy to do anything about it. We find ourselves being bombarded with racist rants and cockpics for a few weeks in the middle of a pandemic crisis via the Presidential Alert System. There simply wouldn’t be anything we could do until the people who might impeach-and-convict Trump got well enough to physically be in the same place at the same time to do it.

But I can’t predict the future. I have no idea what’s going to happen. For the time being, all I can say is it looks as though Trump will, AGAIN, escape any form of political accountability, no matter how many people die uncessary deaths.

There’s just no political will to do anything about him until sometime in his second term.

The Gray Plague: A Historic, Preventable Tragedy #COVID19

Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner

I can’t predict the future. I don’t have reveled truth. But some pretty basic datapoints indicate that if we don’t realize soon how many elderly Americans in rest homes are at risk of dying in the United States (about 1.4 million), then, well, we’re going to have unprecedented national grief. I wrote the below some time ago in something of a panic:

The elderly 65+ are most at risk of succumbing to COVID19.
People in close proximity to each other (like a cruise ship or…a rest home) can be all infected quite quickly. (A mental institution in South Korea saw something like 90% infection rate).
We’re totally luzling this in the United States.
About 47 million Americans are 65+

We already have a case of ONE rest home in Washington State being, essentially, a strategic super-spreader of COVID19.

So, logically, if we’re not taking this seriously and “jungle rules” are applying right now to the spread of COVID19, then, well, it’s looking pretty grim.

The thing I didn’t realize is one reason why The Gray Plague may be far, far more deadly than I initally realized is where the most at-risk elderly people in any one community are: all together in one spot.

A rest home.

And since I first wrote the above a few days ago, I’ve begun to hear rumblings about similar outbreaks popping up in other rest homes across the country. It seems as though if we don’t take this threat far more seriously that two things may happen.

One, a staggering number of elderly people may die early, preventable deaths. Like, close to a million in a very, very short amount of time.

Meanwhile, it’s possible that each of the 15,600 rest homes across the country that become COVID19 hotzones might serve as something of virus “signal amplifiers” across the country as people visit them and then go home and spread the virus in communities all over the country that might not otherwise be infected.

It does seem as though some effort is being put into saving these high-risk elderly people. But my concern is it’s too little, too late. My concern is we’re going to have to process a staggering number of elderly people dying over the next, say, 100 days.

But, who knows. I know I don’t.

Maybe I’m wrong. But I’m just a doofus in the middle of no where, right, Maggie Haberman? Go talk to her about this. She’s soul her sold for access to Dr. Trump, I’m sure she knows more about it than I do.

#COVID19 Threat Assessment For March 11th: ‘It’s Not A Toomha’

Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner

I am feeling pretty good right now. Now that understand what’s going on happen — there’s going to be a sharp, brief spike in cases across the country before the situation stabilize — I’m not feeling as nervous. At this point, the only reason why I’m really concerned at all is what’s going on in Italy and Iran. China and South Korea have proven that with the proper measures, you can have a suddenly severe spike in cases that subsides to a manageable level rather abruptly. We’re probably going to get the shit scared out of us on an unprecedented level nationally, but we will live to fight another day.

At least, that’s what should happen.

The biggest threat to American security right now is not COVID19, but our own president’s reaction to it. He’s probably going to switch gears tonight and go full paranoid racist demagogue on the situation. He will see this pandemic as an opportunity to further consolidation power, not to bring the nation together.

Trump never loses on a political level because of his nature as an avatar for the MAGA base’s hatred of liberals, the browning of America and feminists. So, for the time being, Trump, is as always, his own worst enemy. In a sense, Trump may become a “War President” and, as such, he will have far more power than he might otherwise. If he really was the “very stable genius” that he and Maggie Haberman would have us believe, he would be in a very good position to dominate Joe Biden. Trump’s dream of losing the popular vote and winning the Electoral College in the fall would be a foregone conclusion.


This is Trump we’re talking about, so he’s going to self-own. I’m not prepared to say his self-own will be existential. He’s just too lucky for that to be an issue. But the context of his ultimate, inevitable victory in the fall may be a bit more different than he would like. He’s such a malignant force in American politics that 60% of the electorate is going to be seething about House Trump’s surreal control of America going into his second term. How that might manifest itself is anyone’s guess.

My best guess is he gets impeached again at some point in his second term, but by that point, Don Jr. or Steve King will be his veep so, lulz.

Another option is Trump implodes or explodes on a mental level just as the crisis reaches its denouement and there’s a momentary pause in the rise of the Fourth Reich and the Thousand Year Trump. I don’t want that to happen. I really don’t. That would be among the absolute worst case scenarios out there — I mean, do we really want all 328 million of us to see a picture of Trump’s cock on our phones via the Presidential Alert System?

Or, to put it another way, the only way House Trump doesn’t endup on top because of this crisis is Trump himself. That’s it. Otherwise, no matter what, they will be far more powerful, far quicker than they might have been otherwise in two years.

But, sadly, there are some other things that could make what might otherwise be a short, scary event in our nation’s history turn into not The Little One, but, THE BIG ONE. Besides Trump’s generally fuckery, there is The Gray Plague and the WuFlop to worry about.

If the Gray Plague begins to strike in any big fashion, then that would be a preventable tragedy of such proportions that I don’t want to think about it all that much. It definitely would give one pause for thought. The WuFlop, too, would likely cause so much panic in the United States if a recorded instance of it showed up on TV that the nation might buckle for a few days in abject terror.

Or, put another way, there are simply too many wild card known unknowns for me to properly gauge what is going to happen in the next, say, 60 days. In general, we’re going to get the shit scared out of us a few times, but House Trump will simply grow stronger and more hateful in the end. But if history decides to wake up in a big way, we all –even me — may be shocked by how surreal, how weird things get in a rather abrupt, unpredictable fashion.

History, Please Stay Asleep

Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner

I’m enough of a student of history to know the conditions are there for the next, say, 60 days, to be some of the most surreal, jaw-dropping days in American history. I say this only because of what’s happening in Italy. Italy is imploding and it could very well be they’re us in about 10 days.

I refuse to articulate what I fear my happen because it would be bad taste. But I will note what has happened to Iran because of COVID19 — the entire power structure of the country is now wrapped up in the contagion. Maybe it’s because I like scenarios and to think up stories, but it definitely seems as though it’s possible we may want to slow our collective roll and what may — or may not — happen in American politics long term.

I have no inside information. I’m not a part of the Deep State. I just am well enough versed in the conditions of the pandemic bouncing around the planet right now to know that anything is possible. The Gray Plague. The WuFlop. If either one of those two things make a significant appearance the entire context of the 2020 campaign might not be at all what we think right now.

I don’t want to be right. I really don’t. But I do want to simply prepare myself for the possibility that the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray.

#COVID19 As Trump’s ‘Chernobyl’

Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner

First, Trump is nothing more than a political avatar. You could have a hateful catatonic person do a better job than Trump is right now. So, really, I would say even if Trump’s criminally incompetent reponse to COVID19 became an existential threat to House Trump, it would not really matter.

Nothing matters. Lulz.

A million people — mostly elderly could die unnecessary deaths in the next 60 days and nothing would happen to him on a political level. No accountability. Nothing. He will lose the popular vote and win the Electoral College through any means necessary.

So, I guess, really, if you propose that COVID19 might be House Trump’s “Chernobyl,” what you’re really saying is the context of his thuggish regime might be different for 60% of the electorate who isn’t part of the MAGA death cult. And, honestly, any political accountability Trump had would be far enough in the future that he would have plenty of time to name Don Jr. or Steve King his veep. The worst COVID19 becomes, the more Trump has a vested interest in making it politically impossible to get rid of House Trump by replacing Pence with Don Jr.

Now, as I keep saying — I have no personal ill will towards Trump. I could care less. I would like to him to spend the rest of his life in prison, but I with him the best of health otherwise. But given he keeps shaking hands, it is worth contemplating what might happen if he was sufficiently incapacitated that Pence became president and was in the position to name his replacement.

As I’ve written before, there’s only one person he would name: Ivanka Trump. He would do so because she would be a place holder while he figured out what else he mind do to get into the good graces of the MAGA base who currently don’t care for him. He would say Ivanka as a “threefer:” a woman, a Jewish person and a Trump. She would be approved by the Senate at lightening speed if there was any type of crisis because, well, the MAGA coward Republican Senators wouldn’t want Nancy Pelosi so close to the Presidency.

The point is, however, that barring something, uh, historic (?), because MAGA is now a death cult, House Trump will use this crisis to simply consolidate power even more, more quickly. If traditional political gravity did begin to work again with House Trump, we might be in for a few surreal days. We would look at each other in astonishment as Trump’s enablers rather abruptly changed their tune.

But that’s so fantastical, I just don’t want to waste time on that. In the end, it won’t be COVID19 that is House Trump’s Chernobyl, it will be Trump himself. In other words, he such a self-own artist that the only way the traditional rules of politics ever come back in regards to him will be he goes so fucking insane that we will all grow quite well awaited with this size and shape of his cock. That’s it. That’s the only way I could possible see House Trump being knocked off its feet — everyone in America gets a presidential cock pic via the Presidential Alert System at the height of a historic pandemic.

Even then, it’s debatable.

We’ll probably forget it soon enough, like we do everything else with him. Even if Trump nukes us all to hell, Hugh Hewitt will continue to be a Trump apologist in some bunker.


#COVID19 Threat Assessment For March 9th: Back In Black

Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner

There must be a psychologically term for when you reach the crisis moment you’ve feared and then think to yourself, “Gee, this isn’t as bad as I expected.” I felt that a lot today. Psychologically, I’m about two weeks ahead of everyone, and I’m feeling rather calm. It was interesting, however, noticing how many cable news anchors were wearing black today. They were taking the pandemic seriously, if no one else.

The Economy
I have said for some time now, that our metric should be saving lives at this point, not the stock market. I would, in fact, write it off for the time being. Do whatever is necessary to save as many lives as possible, even if it spooks the markets. But, in a sense, we’re now so far beyond the ability to warn the market in advance about this that, well, we’re all very fucked. We should have let the steam out of the market slowly over the last, say six weeks, not wait until the entire economy implodes over a 48 hour period as the severity of this situation grows apparent and extreme “social distancing” is mandated by state after state.

Continuation of Government
This is, for the moment, a low level threat. Trump is so oblivious as to his own personal risk that he’s freaking out about some Deep State operative journalist intentionally getting infected to hurt him that he doesn’t realize that he should stop shaking people’s hands altogether. But there he was, shaking people’s hands. We know from Iran that it’s possible for the power structure of a nation to become immobilize by COVID19 and given how poorly we are managing this situation, there’s on reason to believe the same thing won’t happen to us. All of Congress — especially the older members — may be, well, “indisposed” pretty soon. We’re not prepared for what happens when COVID19 lops off the entire Federal government’s political command and control infrastructure.

A Political Gray Plague
Don’t sleep on how history is often made by some rather prosaic events. That a bunch of bonkers CPAC attendees were not on Capitol Hill at this point could be huge. They could endup being some of the only law makers not knock out of commission as the crisis advances. They will, of course, use this to consolidate power and, like, found a real-life Gilead. If you think this is great possibility, then, well, fuck you, you piece of shit. If you think the best case scenario of a pandemic is a dystopian state the, fuck off and eat shit. Or, they could simply be overwhelmed by the crisis and be responsible for the military stepping in to keep the nation safe. There are a lot of known unknowns on this front. I just don’t know how bad things may get. If we go the Iranian route, they will get very bad, indeed. It gives me no pleasure to contemplate how dark things may get on that front.

Remember, history is still asleep right now. The Queen is well. The President is well. The Pope is fine. Biden is fine. Sanders is fine. All is well. No one has dropped from the WuFlop in America, or at least recorded having done so. There is no indication that the Kirkland rest home situation has been replicated elsewhere. If we manage to get through the next two weeks without some jaw-dropping history being made, then, great. I’ll be quite content. I do have a novel to develop. The next two weeks are crucial, however.

“Death Cult”
I just don’t know on this one. For MAGA thought leaders to distance themselves from The Dear Leader, things would have to get so horrific that it just wouldn’t be worth it. For them to finally, like, tell the truth and stop worrying about Hillary Clinton’s email server, things would have to be so demonstrably dire that it just wouldn’t be worth it. That’s the thing that Twitter liberals keep missing. They’re so exciting about a pandemic giving them a potential policy advantage they they totally miss the astonishing human toll we would all have to go through to get it. It will be a tragedy and we will only give it value later, out of desperation and grief.

Trump Hasn’t Bit Bonkers…Yet
Trump isn’t taking this seriously, yet. While his plutocrat friends are nervous, the base is obviously not concerned. When THEY are concerned, then, well, YIKES. When the base makes it clear that they are unhappy with his performance — if that ever happens — then Trump could snap mentally in a rather dramatic fashion. Historic fashion. Like, oh my God, what is happening fashion.

Anyway, no one listens to me. I have a novel to develop.

The Fortnight That Shook The World #COVID19

Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner

“These are the times that try men’s souls,” as Thomas Paine said.

You could not write a more surreal, disturbing scenario as is about to begin. In large part, what we’re facing is a problem of perception. For the time being, we’re going to be in free fall until the psychological “re-calibration” that needs to take place is wrapped up. I am beginning to believe, however, that this is going to be a really bumpy two weeks on a global scale.

Things will stabilize after that, however. While there are a lot unknowns going forward, it’s possible that COVID19 really will begin to subside dramatically in April. Trump will crow that he was right all along and because of the personal fidelity of the MAGA base and his ratfucking of Joe Biden as part of the campaign, he will, again, cruise a popular vote loss and an Electoral College win. It may be just one vote, but he’s going to win.


A lot can happen in two weeks. A whole lot. So, even if things stabilize sometime in April, the world may be so changed by that point that Trump may, at last, find a minor amount of “accountability” on his hands. He will still win the general election, of course, because, lulz, but the context will be a little bit different.


If you really want to be a bit more adventitious in your scenario, you might two things might so shake up the whole world on a historic and political level in the next two weeks that when we finally catch our breath, we won’t recognize the world we now live in.

If the Gray Plague strikes, if even for a severe two weeks, that, in itself, is a wild card I can’t predict. If we count the dead in 10s of thousands, not hundreds, then, that’s kind of a bad PR situation for House Trump. Maybe. But MAGA is a death cult, so lulz.


If the Gray Plague struck the right type of old person, then, that, too, might at least make House Trump a tiny bit more uncomfortable than it’s used to being. It’s not like their enables in and out of government are going to actually care that Trump’s historic, criminal mismanagement of all of this costs lives because, well, they’ve invested their entire life, entire identity into the Trump Train and, lulz.


If things, even for about two weeks, grew extremely severe and not only did the Gray Plague strike, but there were multiple recorded instances of the WuFlop, then, and only then, might House Trump face an existential threat. It might be a little bit more difficult for Hugh Hewitt to defend Trump if 100,000 elderly people die in two weeks, but I’m sure he’ll try. Or he’ll just freak out and blame Asian people for and say they have to be put in the ICE camps for “national security” reasons. I’m not joking. That’s a very real possibility. The WuFlop, too, would likely highten the crisis to unprecedented levels. The bolts of our political and economic system might pop off. And even then, it would be, at most one election cycle. Give them four years and Don Jr. will, at last, wear the purple robes of the House Trump throne. So, we might have, about two years of a functioning government before the usual bullshit pops up again and the new Republican House impeaches the Democratic president out of spite.


The last “but” is the darkest — Trump goes completely nuts at some point in the next two weeks. I have no idea what happens then. But I do believe Trump’s enablers would defend anything he did far, far, far longer than any of us might be willing to admit.


‘危機’ — #Pandemic Era America #COVID19

Let’s rock.
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner

While MAGA “thought leaders” like Hugh Hewitt are begging us to remember that COVID19 came from Wuhan, China, that’s not the reason why I put the Chinese in the title.

As I understand it, ‘危機’ are the characters for “danger” and “opportunity.” In other words, while the next, say, two weeks are going to suck, there is also some opportunity for those willing to take a risk and show some courage and leadership.

The first thing to do, of course, is to admit that there is, in fact a crisis. Once you do that, you can readjust your thinking accordingly. We’re probably going to have something of a “re-calibration” of society and the economy over the next two weeks.

But the fundamentals of the global economy are strong enough that once the re-calibration wraps up, things will bounce back. Though, I will note, American psychology is pretty unusual. It is so extremely alien to us for there to be a mass, rolling crisis like this, which is comparable to, say, an invasion, that some pretty long-standing habits and traditions may simply melt away.

Add to this how polarized America is and how House Trump is prepare to lie, cheat and steal to maintain power and that “danger” character may get something of a work out. In other words, this could be the thing that doesn’t give us Universal Health Care, but Gilead.

It could really be that bad.

The point is — this is going to be a massive tragedy. So massive that we will only give it value long after the fact out of desperation. Hopefully, maybe, we might come together after it begins. But more likely than not, there will be political violence on the part of MAGA fucktards who think it’s all some sort of weird Deep State conspiracy.

Or people like Hugh Hewitt will endup stirring up forces they might — just might live to regret. If fucking MAGA decides to start murdering Asian people out of a fear of “Wuhan flu,” then, well, we will know whose hands that blood will be on. They will whine that they aren’t responsible for other people’s actions, but history will record the truth.

But once we make it through this crisis, we may have something of a return to the 50s as everyone decides they want to settle down and have kids after getting the shit scared out of them for 18 months.

‘To Schlapp’ #COVID19 #Pandemic #CoronaVirus

A new verb?
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner

As any student of history will tell you — the writer’s have a wicked sense of humor. In fact, I would say whomever is writing human history definitely likes irony. Before I go any further, let me stress that while I hate MAGA’s idology with a white hot fucking rage, I have nothing personal against any of them. I don’t want any physical harm to come to any of them, though I would squeal with glee if Trump spent the rest of his life in prison.

So, imagine how my eyebrows rose when I heard that the Dear Leader’s favorite cock holster Matt Schlapp not only hung out with some dude who went to CPAC with COVID19, he shook POTUS’ hand at some point later. I would go so far that if we could somehow prove that any potential COVID19 infection of POTUS came from that contact that we might have a new verb in the English language: “to schlapp.”

When you schlapp, you harm the thing you love the most.

I really don’t want any physical harm to come to Trump, or Schlapp, for that matter. Trump is doing his best to destroy himself all on his own without me hoping for any physical harm against him. Live long and prosper, Trump…in prison.

But, as I have said repeatedly, nothing as of right now gives me any indication that after all is said and done, Trump will still in be in power being a tyrant. And even if he somehow does leave office, his replacement will be someone equal (Pence) or worse (Rep. Steve King.)

Though, if really wanted to get surreal and dark, you might say if we start to have any continuation of government issues — which I definitely don’t want — that we may endup with a President Ivanka.


Of #Pandemic Terminology

Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner

Ok, real talk. I am well aware that in the early days of AIDS, it was often referred to as “The Gay Plague.” I have thought a lot about my use of the phrase, “The Gray Plague” in that historical context and I feel comfortable using it going forward.

The reason is, while “The Gay Plague” was proscription, “The Gray Plague” is descriptive. AIDS is actually pretty hard to get and a lot of people who weren’t gay got it in the early years because of tainted blood transfusions. And calling AIDS “The Gay Plague” was often used to harm the gay community and make people even more homophobic than they already were in the 80s.

Meanwhile, it’s not like people are going to avoid old people because of The Gray Plague. Going forward, the vast majority of people who die from COVID19, are going to be, well, old. So, yes, I guess is sounds rather tabloid to call it The Gray Plague, it is also a reasonably accurate description of what’s going on. It really is a potential massive culling of older people along the lines of the Black Plague.

The other term is “Wuflop.” Now, there’s a medical term for this that I can’t find. But I’m growing leery of using WuFlop because, well, MAGA are a bunch of fucking racist who will likely hop on the term to do God-only-knows what to Asian people of all stripes. So, I will continue to use the term in a sort of gallows’ humor fashion until I find out what the actual scientific term for the event is.

Whatever its scientific term, the WuFlop is eerie as hell and Americans simply aren’t prepared to see it happen here.

I have completely stopped using WuFlu outside of some things I step early on in the pandemic on this Website.I started using it at first because I thought it was an amusing reference to Wu-tang Clan. MAGA shitheads are trying to brand it the Wuhan Flu so they can blame the Chinese government and continue to suck Trump’s political cock.

I look forward to spitting in the eye of the Fourth Reich ICE agent who arrests me for these posts before he puts a bullet in the back of my head. Good times!