On My Gestating Novel

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I’m going to start writing the first draft of the thriller I’m developing about March 1st, no matter where I am in development because I feel I can do both development and writing now that I have the universe down pat.

The only thing about the “normal” world that I’ve created is either it’s going to be seen as genius or completely ridiculous. Though, to be fair, it is meant to be a guilty political thriller (of sorts) pleasure for Park Slope moms who would otherwise read The New Yorker. I don’t have a wife or girlfriend to give me any context as to what I’ve thought up, so really I’m writing this because it’s something I, personally, want to read.

I want to read a cathartic novel about the Trump Era that’s breezy and fun and you don’t even realize how deep it is until a few days after you’ve finished reading it. If I achieve my goal, it will, on its surface, be a good enough beach read that there will be a sizable minority of people who might even simply see it as a thriller with an unusual conceit, but that’s doubtful.

The “normal” world of this novel is constructed in such a way that you’d have to be brain dead and living under a rock the last few years not to notice what I’m doing with it. In a sense, I guess I want this to be, for my own reading pleasure, a story in the tradition of Apocalypse Now. As you know, that movie wasn’t so much a movie about people going up the Mekong River as it was an extended metaphor about America’s involvement in Vietnam.

And, as such, that’s pretty much what’s going on with this novel at this point, at least the first draft will be that way. As I grow as a storyteller, I may be able to soften the obvious allegory to such an extent that it won’t be quite as obvious or out of place. But the story has been built from the ground up so that one character — the main character, if you will — is believable and interesting.

The thriller aspect of it is really just an excuse to have this interesting universe be put through its paces. I have some really fun scenes I want to write in my head, but I haven’t gotten to them yet. At this point, I’m barely near the end of the first act.

I’ve given myself 200,000 words to play with and as such I have plenty of words to spare whereby I can slip in my personal political views. Of course, one big problem is, well, me.

I’m a white male.

And, given how identity politics has fucked things up so much, a lot of people who might otherwise be interested in this novel, should I miraculously sell it, will click off the moment they do a Google search for my name and see what I look like.

So, like I said, this story is for me, personally at this point. And, let me be clear — this is no Cat Person. This is strictly a spec novel written by a “failed reporter” who a lot of people dismiss as a Internet crank who posts song lyrics that will never be produced.

And, since I like hot chicks and go to strip clubs on occasion, I have a “problematic” background for some, no matter how empathetic I might want to be for various people who might otherwise be interested in this tale.

But, again, this story is for me. It’s a novel I want to write so I can read it and honestly, if I manage to actually write it and flesh it out in the manner I hope, more than a few people who know me — and have no respect for me — might at least wince at how badly they misjudged me.

Or not.

I do, in fact, have to actually write something.

V-Log: Trump As Political Avatar

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Some thoughts.

V-Log: My Hot Take On The Fate Of The #MuellerReport

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I don’t believe we’ll ever see the Mueller Report, and if we do, it will be politically moot by that point. In fact, the way things are going, Trump is going to survive and prosper the next 5 or so years and, what’s worse, he is going to lay the groundwork for an even worst Republican president down the road.

Of course, there are some potential curve balls that I simply can’t account for, the chief among them being No Deal Brexit. If that happens and there is a significant shock to the global economy because of it, then there’s at least a chance Trump’s popularity sink down to the 20% of the population who think the world is flat.

But, in a sense, I think Trump will be looked back upon by many in the Republican Party as something of a bizzaro Ronald Reagan in the sense that his “legacy” will be to shift the political center of the country to the Right in a pretty significant manner.

Someone Needs To Stage A Rock ‘N Roll Intervention With Halsey

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I’m slowly growing into a fan of Halsey, but I feel something is lacking. She’s a pretty mainstream pop star right now and it seems to me she has an opportunity to do something really interesting if she covered a Garbage song.

The obvious song for her to cover is their big hit “Stupid Girl.” But they have a wide-range of solid pop rock songs for her to choose from, ranging from the rock banger “I’m Only Happy When It Rains” to the slow, dark songs like “Cup of Coffee” and “Drive You Home.”

But I’m a middle-aged white man and, as such, my musical tastes don’t mean shit.

I have to note she’s a stunning woman and I like how she has a very unique vocal inflection in the manner in which she sings. Still wish she’d go the rock route with at least one song, though.

V-Log: Trust Your Creativity

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Some thoughts.

V-Log: Pop Art, Pop Psychology

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Some thoughts.

V-Log: A Discussion Of ‘Gone Girl’

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Some thoughts.

V-Log: Developing Ideologies

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Some thoughts.

V-Log: The State Of The #Thriller I’m Developing As Of February 16 — The Game Is Afoot

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Some thoughts.

The Vision Thing — A #Startup Codenamed ‘Irredenta’

By Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Gab is this insane cesspool of hate frequented by alt-Right mouthbreathers. But it does fill a niche. And as, such, I suggest that there are a lot — a lot — of Twitter users who, if they were given a viable option would at least try it out.


I’m old enough to remember the TV show America Held Hostage, which would turn into Nightline. I’m saying we’re in a similar crisis and, as such, have a similar opportunity. But there’s more to the story than just that.

A lot of different things are happening right now and I suggest that a new app could address than all in one fell swoop. People want a viable option to Twitter. A growing number of people, given the opportunity, would be interested in an app that would help facilitate massive protests against the Trump Administration to end it once and for all. And, lastly, the online news business is suffering a historic contraction.

So, the app I propose, which goes under the codename Irredenta, would address all those issues. The app would be designed in such a way that you would, essentially, pay a core group of users to break news using it. But, get this, much like the Usenet of yore, you have inline editing of that content so the comments are actually inside full page posts using groups. Or, put another way, that’s what you work towards. That’s what you grow into.

The basic app would be a lot like Crooked Media’s Vote Save The People but with a news service of sorts attached to it. It really isn’t that hard to imagine. You just need just the basic vision and resources to pull it off.  I have the vision, I just don’t have anything else.

So, unless I get some traction on this, I’m probably going to shut up about it soon enough.