‘The Ballad Of Old Man Cotton’ — #Lyrics To An Angry Pop-Rock-Folk Song

Sen. Tom Cotton has proven himself to be a liar and I can’t stand it. It’s outrageous that he is willing to sell his soul and honor to protect our piece of shit president. Hence, this song.

The Ballad Of Old Man Cotton
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

old man Cotton
you are a national shame
we will vote you out
given a chance

old man Cotton

I see you on TV
you lie so fast
you are not a man of honor
you should just shut up
we know what happened
when will you tell the truth, truth, truth

old man Cotton
you are a national shame
we will vote you out
given a chance

old man Cotton

you don’t know the truth
even if it was a stick to the head
you’re going to feel the power of fact
one day, one day, one day
the voting booth still exists

old man Cotton
you are a national shame
we will vote you out
given a chance

old man Cotton

‘Shithole Country’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Hip-Hop – R&B Song

These lyrics are supposed to be kind of a murky mixture of Prince’s Sign O’ The Times and a Public Enemy song. No one cares what I write, so I’m just doing this for fun, though I am kind of pissed off.

Shithole Country
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

the black man works with a broken back
trying the best he can
but just walking the streets is a danger
especially when the president is a racist fool
so let me tell you about a shithole country
at least for me
the one I have to deal with
as long as Trump’s name is in the land

shithole country
land of the free
shithole country
the one I live with in
as long as Trump is POTUS
shithole country

why can’t we all just get along
why does POTUS have to divide us along lines
the lines found on our face

what a disgrace
what a disgrace
what a disgrace

shithole country
land of the free
shithole country
the one I live with in
as long as Trump is POTUS
shithole country

[bridge]
we still have hope
maybe we’ll awake
and find that this was all a dream
but I’m afraid
the answer is nope, nope, nope

but we’re going to have to fight
fight for our freedom again
we’re going to have to unite
unite this shithole country

unite
unite
unite
unite

Use Case: Bringing Back Usenet Concepts & Saving The Publishing Business

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I have talked at great length about this subject, but it’s fun to daydream about it. No one is paying me any attention and I’m kind of cooling my heels intellectually until I get a new camera and pursue that life. Having said that, I think a service based on the concepts of Usenet could do wonders for the publishing business.

I say this because instead of sending people a link to a site like you have to do with Twitter, with this proposed service, you could come to some agreement whereby a link detailing breaking news could be shot directly into the service in such a way that not only would people be able to inline edit it as part of the discussion, but the original ads associated with the article would be preserved.

This is important because people will be engaging with the content in a really proactive manner and the ads associated with the content would be viewed heavily. This might, just might, help with interaction of ads in such a way that it could boost the bottom line of online journalism.

This doesn’t even begin to address the issue of how you would know a lot more about users than otherwise because they would come to a newsgroup, or “Group” as I call them, for a very specific reason. They would not only come to a newsgroup for a specific topic, but the “patron” of the Group, a verified account holder, would be directly connected to the group because they created it.

This brings up all kinds of interesting advertising scenarios. Imagine a full page ad for this or that widget as a post in a group that was hotly debating the merits of the widget. Or something. Something like that. I would be interesting. I really like this concept. I think it has a huge potential upside monetarily.

But as I keep saying, no one is listening to me. No one cares about what I have to say, so this is more about me relaxing on a cold winter evening than anything else. Here are some more thoughts below.

Of Group Creation & Thought Leaders #Startup

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

One of major issues of Usenet when it existed as a major online force was newsgroup creation. If you were to aspire to create a service that would be as large as, say, Twitter, you would have to deal with that issue as well. To me, it seems the solution would be to give Verified Account holders the exclusive ability to create new newsgroups. That would fix that issue quite well.

You would have the ability to have lots of newsgroups with a very specific subject that would be attached to a specific thought leader. There obviously would be some redundancy caused by this, but I really like this concept. It’s really strong and scales well. It also gives the opportunity to lots of value added features that I think people would really enjoy.

It’s just a really cool concept. It’s a really interesting way of fixing the creation of new newsgroups problem. Of course, there are any number of other UX issues to be addressed. You want to make the service feature rich, but you don’t want to make it so complex that it overwhelms people.

How To Found A ‘Twitter Killer’ Based On Usenet & IRC Concepts

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

It is pretty obvious that Twitter is a right-time-right-place kind of service. Modern life needs something like Twitter, so, for the time being, it’s a “success,” if, by “success” you mean a service pretty much everyone hates but only uses because there’s no option other than the insane Gab.

So, as a thought experiment, how might found a service with potentially explosive growth that would crush Twitter — and to a limited extent Reddit. Reddit, in my belief, is kinda sorta Usenet but not nearly as much fun as Usenet was and I think it’s UX it’s a complete mess. Though I’ve heard they’re going to revamp it, so maybe much of what I’m griping about will become moot sooner rather than later.

Having said all that, let’s begin.

What I would do is, study what made IRC and Usenet popular 20 years ago and then, from the ground up, work to not only fix the problems with Twitter but also make the service as accommodating to advertising as possible. Usenet died, in large part because no one could figure out how to use to advertise goods and services without it being spam.

Anyway, after I spent a little time doing that, I would establish a very small limited-invite service that would be used to get the kinks out. The service would, in large part, be a Web implementation of any number of great Usenet clients that used to exist. Of course, it would be on just one Website so you wouldn’t have the problem of distributed computing that Usenet had. (There was lag in distributing posts which no one would accept in today’s fast-paced world.)

After I had done that, I would a small group of thought leaders and celebrities on Twitter and give them invites. I would give them some time to get used to the service’s new UX and then explain to them that since they were verified account holders, they would have the exclusive ability to create new Groups that would within them have Discussions. After giving them some more time to figure out exactly what that meant, I would then give them a limited number of invites that they could give friends. I would think slowly grow out the service in such a way that I think it would have explosive growth. Huge growth in a very quick amount of time. Like, early Facebook growth.

Now, of course, once the service got the buzz I would expect it to get, the major online players would either want to co-op it or buy it. I would politely decline because, well, they suck. 🙂 I just can’t see Twitter getting its act together to co-op the features of this proposed service. Facebook has a completely different vision and the one service that would probably be the direct competitor — Reddit — has an established user-based that would not take kindly to too dramatic a shake up in the UX.

You wouldn’t even need that much money to begin with, I don’t think. You could probably accomplish a lot with crowdfunding. But no one likes me and I can’t code and don’t want to learn so this is just a daydream. It’s a very compelling daydream, but a daydream nonetheless.

Of Thought Leaders, Content Providers & A Service Based On Usenet Concepts

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Some basic problems exist online that a new discussion service devoted to updating the concepts of Usenet and IRC could fix. The first major problem is content providers continue to struggle to make money online. I believe if you designed a service based on the concepts of Usenet you might not be able to fix the problem but you could definitely ameliorate it.

I say this because what if you came to an profit sharing agreement with major online content providers so they could shoot out their content into this new service with all their ads intact. People would be able to inline edit the content, pick it apart in discussion and still be exposed to all the ads from the original content provider. This is pretty powerful I think. If, say, there was breaking news and the Washington Post or New York Times shot the story in its entirety into this discussion service, all the ads associated with the story would be seen as people were engaging actively with the content. This, in a sense, would take blogging to the next level.

I think that’s pretty cool.

Meanwhile, there is another problem: thought leaders are really growing tired of Twitter. It seems pretty obvious that if you gave them a better option they would bolt Twitter and bring their community and its collected fans along with them. If you told celebrities and other thought leaders that you gave them a service that gave them exclusive administrative goodies they probably would be extremely pleased. Giving verified account holders the exclusive ability create and manage newsgroups (or whatever they’re called in the service) would attract them in droves and be the basis of the new service’s initial success.

There are seemingly an endless different ways you could use this service when it comes to thought leaders. Imagine a major musician dropping a track into the service in such a way that people could discuss it between themselves with significantly more engagement than the typical tweet. Or, hell, for that matter, you could put an entire podcast into the service and people could debate the podcast with great gusto. I really like that one.

Anyway, as I keep saying, I have no money, can’t code and don’t want to learn. It’s just fun to write about this. Though, if you want to see me talk about this at great length, look at my Instagram account.

The Curious Case Of Usenet, IRC & Why Twitter Needs To Die

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I had a dream last night about how easy it would be to use any number of great Usenet clients as a the basis of a Web interface for a new discussion service that would be a “Twitter Killer.” Some of these clients, especially the ones you had to pay for, were really, really good. They were feature rich and fun to use and got the job done. Figure out a way to integrate IRC concepts into the interface and you have the makings of something really, really cool.

Of course, you’d have to update the experience some simply because people have Twitter, Usenet and Reddit as a frame of reference. But the general concepts you would use for such a service are extremely powerful and useful in today’s world.

One of the reasons why it took me years to use Twitter is I was so used to Usenet’s interface that I didn’t get what the big deal was about. Even now, I struggle to understand how anyone would use Twitter instead of Usenet and the answer is, of course: they don’t know Usenet even ever existed.

Usenet was not perfect and any service you designed would have to be designed from the ground up to address some modern needs. You would have to be able to integrate advertising seamlessly and you would have to address some basic issues that simply didn’t exist 20 years ago when Usenet and IRC were popular.

One issue I think would be interesting to address is newsgroup — or whatever you called them — creation. In my imagination, you would give verified account holders exclusive ability to create new newsgroups. You would give them other privileges, but not too many simply because you wouldn’t want to burden them with administration duties. Yet I think a lot of thought leaders would get off on the notion they had more power than just the average user. Now, of course, being a verified account holder would come at a price: you’d have to use your real name.

Another issue that would have to be addressed is cross posting. Cross-posting spam was a real issue with Usenet and I think simply wouldn’t give people the power to cross post at all. Or maybe just give it to verified account holders within those groups they had created.

Once you assume you’re going to use Usenet and IRC concepts as the basis of a Twitter Killer, there are so many intriguing, interesting tweaks you would be able to implement. Because Usenet was based on the notion of threaded entire-page posts, you could do some interesting things with content providers. They could shoot out their articles — in full — into the system and then people could quote the content directly through inline editing. The content providers make money because the ads associated with the content would still be associated with it. Done properly, this service I imagine could not only revolutionize content online, but, in a sense, bring back blogging from the dead.

Another interesting twist to the old Usenet concept is directly integrating IRC concepts into it as well. This is a little bit more fuzzy, but somehow you would make it so you would be able to enjoy now only the experience of old AOL Chat rooms but the old Usenet experience as well with the same service. So, it would be something like, you would have a public chat associated with each new newsgroup. Or something.

Additionally, something that would be really cool is what you might be able to do with profile pages with this service. If you had a way of cutting through the enormous amount of discussion such a service would generate by linking what you contributed to the service to your profile page, that might be really popular. Of course, you would have the usual Trending topics as well.

I also really like the idea of one-click recorded video-conferencing being associated with this as well. It would be cool if you could have a text chat with someone, then hit a button and start a recorded public video chat that would be associated with a post. Maybe only verified account holders could do this, but I think, in general this is a pretty strong concept.

Now, I don’t expect any of this to happen. I have no money, can’t code and don’t want to learn. But I use Twitter so much and miss Usenet so much that I keep thinking about this concept over and over again. I keep thinking of different interesting use-cases. I have posted an enormous amount of Instagram videos on this subject and the only reason why I don’t do it again is I have started to use my Instagram account for pictures more than anything else.

‘Caligula’ — #Lyrics To A Woke #EDM Song

Yes, I know the music usually comes before the lyrics in an EDM song, but I like EDM and I like telling stories in verse, so you get this. I’m listening to an EDM song as I write these lyrics just to get the mood and this is really just a first draft but it’s fun to write lyrics anyway. It’s just for fun. I find the process of writing lyrics fascinating. this would be a really dancable EDM song about, well, Donald J. Trump.

Caligula
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

I watch CNN see the truth in front of me
we’re all going to die
I’m afraid
might as well dance the night way
hope we get to see the dawn
after a night of passion
what happens next is anyone’s guess

the president is a modern day
Caligula
Caligula
Caligula

he’s lost his mind I’m afraid
we have to address the facts of life
things are growing dire
with Trump as president
what are we going to to smooth fate
I’m afraid this is the end
so take my hand before it all ends

the president is a modern day
the president is a modern day
Caligula
Caligula
Caligula

[bridge]
run to your fall out shelter
run as fast as you can
make sure you kiss your loved ones goodbye
when the missile heads our way
we’re all going to day his name

Caligula
Caligula
Caligula

the president is insane
the president is insane
the president is insane

‘Warning’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Pop-Rock Protest Song

I just write lyrics because it’s relaxing. I don’t know if I’m any good and that’s not really the point. The point is it’s cathartic to some extent to tell stories in verse. And I write these lyrics extremely quickly, so, in a sense, you get what you get. These lyrics are about the recent false alarm in Hawaii about an ICBM on its way to the area. I’m thinking a Radiohead vibe for the music.

Warning
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

the warning arrives but does anyone listen
can you read what’s on your phone
that’s the question
we’re all going to die it seems
but soon enough
we discover it’s

what happens next in our doom
we could check Twitter to see the facts
will anyone know the truth even then
or is it all fake news

check again and you’ll see
it was all a false alarm
it was all a false alarm
it was all a false alarm

[bridge]
hold your loved ones tight
no one is going to save you from the fright
we’re all going to die

but in the end
it was all a false alarm
it was all a false alarm
it was all a false alarm

one day we’ll be free of Trump
and look back upon all of this with regret
but thankfully
it was all a false alarm
it was all a false alarm

Nightmare: Would Peter Thiel Buy Gawker & Put Steve Bannon In Charge Of It?

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I was a huge fan of Gawker for much of its existence and was greatly sadden to see it die an untimely death. Though, I must note, it died in large part because of its own self-importance and arrogance. Had it been a little bit more humble when it was needed, it would probably still be in existence today. And in its later years the site had strangly lost its way. It was adrift and had been stripped of its charm to become just nasty for the sake of being nasty.

So, right now, two things are true. The guy who killed Gawker — Peter Thiel — is interested in buying its corpse so he can do God-only-knows what with it. Meanwhile, vile piece of shit Steve Bannon is out of a job. It seems like a perfect fit: Thiel buys the Gawker domain name and puts Bannon in charge of it. I would wince if this were to happen, but it would make a lot of sense.

It probably won’t happen. I hope it doesn’t happen. But who knows. Only time will tell.