‘Daddy’s Happy Girl’ — #Lyrics To A Country Music Song

These lyrics come from a chat I had with a guy at a bar about his tour of duties in Iraq and Afghanistan. Sounded like a country music song, so you get this. No one cares about any of this, so this is just me enjoying writing a story in verse

Daddy’s Happy Girl
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

when I went on tour the first time
I saw the dead eyes of children
found myself over and over again
asking if I had been the one
to snuff their life out
that was before I had a child of my my own
on who was daddy’s happy girl

daddy’s little girl
is waiting at home
she’s daddy’s happy little girl
waiting for me to come home
waiting for me to come home
to hug her tight, tight, tight

I came home met might wife
and before I knew it
we were expecting
expecting a child

then again I found myself on tour
when the baby came
I vowed to myself
vowed to myself I never want to see
someone else’s happy little girl
with cold dead eyes

daddy’s little girl
is waiting at home
she’s daddy’s happy little girl
waiting for me to come home
waiting for me to come home
to hug her tight, tight, tight

[bridge]
daddy’s happy girl is always there
alive as can be
waiting for me back at home
I love her with all my heart
would never do her no harm

the last time I was on tour
I walked through the streets of death
and saw child after child with cold still eyes
found myself wondering
who’s daddy’s happy little girl
I was seeing

daddy’s happy little girl
daddy’s happy little girl
daddy’s happy little girl

Kirstjen Nielsen And Tom Cotton Are Liars

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I can’t get over that both Kirstjen Nielsen and Tom Cotton, otherwise presumably honorable people, are willing to lie to protect our shithead, scummy racist president. And no one seems to care. No one. I blows my mind. It’s mind boggling that this is the case.

The worse part of all of this is that “normal” people are slouching towards his slimy shitty level for white-knuckled political reasons. It’s really nuts. It’s completely bonkers. All this insane stuff is happening and political gravity continues to be suspended.

Donald Trump is a racist, and people like Kirstjen Nielsen and Tom Cotton are protecting him and it blows my mind. It is an outrage. But there doesn’t seem to be any consequence to it. Is America so fucked up that someone as slimy and ignorant as Donald Trump can cause hopefully honorable people are willing to cover for him.

It’s crazy. Insane. And there doesn’t seem to be anything we can do about it.

‘NYC’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Pop Song

This is a homage to Lily Allen’s LDN. At least, that’s the song I’m listening to for the most part as I write these lyrics. But the point is to be a lot more angry. So imagine a Lily Allen song by way of a Public Enemy or Rage Against The Machine song. Sorta.

NYC
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

got to the city on the Chinatown bus
things are a lovely as they can be in the early morning
take a picture with your smartphone
post it on Instagram for the friends back home
but soon enough you see Trump Tower
and all you can say is

fuck Donald Trump
fuck that dude
he isn’t my president
fuck Donald Trump
that racist piece of shit

so walking around NYC
as the day progresses
you walk into the park
what a lovely day it is
things are so lovely
the people walk by then you look and see
Trump’s name yet again

fuck Donald Trump
fuck that dude
he isn’t my president
fuck Donald Trump
that racist piece of shit

[bridge]
maybe it was all a dream
maybe things are are better now
maybe Clinton won
maybe we’re just free to live our lives
but it’s not to be
Trump is president

fuck Trump
that racist piece of shit
he’s not welcome in NYC
he’s not welcome anywhere
why do we have to put up with his lunacy
can you answer me
can you answer me

‘Vortex’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Pop Song

I love the word “Vortex” as a pop song title, so I keep coming back to it. I’ve written the lyrics to several songs using this concept, but given how totally insane the Trump Administration has come to be, it seems as though it’s appropriate to revisit this concept AGAIN. I am going to attempt, just off the top of my head, write a song that gives a breezy — and fastly sung — description of the shitstorm that Trump has brought about.

Vortex
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

it started with a bang
forcing immigrants to pack their bags
fast as they can
people went to the airport
to show their support
and that was just the first few days!

Trump is a vortex
a vortex of political storms
what are going to do
what are we going to do

it’s been a vortex
a vortex of crazy
please don’t call me lazy
if the facts of this vortex are hazy

what has happened since it began
leaves us with hat in hand
Bannon came and went
Trump has left us spent!
take a break for a few hours
come back and the world is in flames
Trump is back at it again!

Trump is a vortex
a vortex of political storms
what are going to do
what are we going to do

it’s been a vortex
a vortex of crazy
please don’t call me lazy
if the facts of this vortex are hazy

[bridge]
we’re going to have to confront
that the president’s nuts
unhinged as he can be
where, exactly, are we going to flee?

the president calls Africa a shithole (shithouse?)
just a few days ago
we were going down the hole of his sanity
now we’re completely ignoring
his hush money to a porn star
what the hell is happening!

Trump is a vortex
a vortex of political storms
what are going to do
what are we going to do

it’s been a vortex
a vortex of crazy
please don’t call me lazy
if the facts of this vortex are hazy

‘Unrequited’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Ballad

My romantic life is usually just me pining away for someone I can’t have. So, these lyrics are about that. This is a homage to the song “Only Love Can Hurt Like This.” At least, that’s the song I’m listening to as I write these words. But, as I keep saying, really, if I had a co-writer and different beats this concept could be pretty cool.

Unrequited
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

she’s always got a boyfriend or a man or a beau
that’s for sure, I’m afraid
there’s nothing I can do, nothing I can say
that will change my fate
my love is always

unrequited
unrequited
unrequited

I pine away for someone I may never have
will never feel the hair on her head
or the warmth of her breath on my skin
she’s perfect for me
but it’s not to be
but it’s not to be

too many other fish are in the sea
that’s what my mother said to me
but they’re not as tasty
to my heart
my heart that cries softly in the dark
for a love that is

unrequited
unrequited
unrequited

[bridge]
maybe one day
that’s all I can say
maybe one day
things will change
then what?

but I have to wait
wait until some date
when she’s free for me
yet until then
my love will be

unrequited
unrequited
unrequited

‘Hyperbole’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Pop Song

This is a homage to Katy Perry’s Chained To The Rhyme. I really like the song and since I have no beats — and neither can afford them nor have the technology to use them even if I did — this uses the general beat scheme of that song. But this is a first draft, if someone helped me, we could make this a legitimate song. These lyrics are about Trump and I like the concept because it teaches the listener about a word: hyperbole.

Hyperbole
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce perform

you can’t just state the facts
have to put your own spin on them
have to exaggerate
have to to blow things out of proportion

why do you have to employ
hyperbole, hyperbole, hyperbole
hyperbole, hyperbole, hyperbole
why can’t you just tell the truth
why can’t you just tell the truth

we’re faced with the facts
yet again, yet again, yet again
the president lies and lies
he employs hyperbole to make his point
how can we let this stand
how can we let this stand

why do you have to employ
hyperbole, hyperbole, hyperbole
hyperbole, hyperbole, hyerbole
why can’t you just tell the truth
why can’t you just tell the truth

but that’s how he rolls
telling lies and using hyperbole
we want the truth
we want the truth
we want the truth

‘Waiting’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Pop Song

This would be a catchy pop song in the spirit of Katy Perry’s more popular recent stuff. But it would be more overtly “woke” than what she’s sung. Let me stress that this is just written really fast off the top of my head, but it is relaxing. This is about Hawaii residents having to wait 38 minutes before they found out that a ICBM wasn’t on its way to kill them. And I like to tell stories in verse, so you get this.

Waiting
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform
a missile is on its way

to end us all
so here we are
waiting, waiting, waiting

waiting for the end
wondering what comes next
should we be worried
should we fear life after death

38 minutes until we knew the truth
long enough to reflect on our lives
time enough to hope we’ve lived a good life
38 minutes of waiting, waiting, waiting

now what is what we said
looking around with fresh eyes
so this is how it all ends
with us waiting, waiting, waiting

38 minutes until we knew the truth
long enough to reflect on our lives
time enough to hope we’ve lived a good life
38 minutes of waiting, waiting, waiting

[bridge]
this is not how we expected it
we’re going to meet our maker
live a hell on heaven’s islands

38 minutes until we knew the truth\
long enough to reflect on our lives
time enough to hope we’ve lived a good life
38 minutes of waiting, waiting, waiting

waiting, waiting, waiting
waiting, waiting, waiting
waiting, waiting, waiting

‘Dicky Durbin’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Punk Rock Song

It continues to amaze me that it’s not bigger news that the President of the United States is not only demonstrably unhinged, but has the mentality of a middle-school bully. So, this song is about Trump’s latest nickname, Dicky Durbin and how it’s so bad, so childish that it is flabbergasting. Anyway, this is a punk song. At least the music to it would be punk.

Dicky Durbin
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

things don’t seem like they could get worse
make me want to hiss
when I see you on my screen
you come up with stupid names
for respectable people
at least from what I can glean
your latest is Dicky Durbin

Dicky Durbin
is that all you got, bruh
Dicky Durbin
is that all you got, bruh
you’re losing your touch
losing your touch

what is going to happen
I just don’t know
I just don’t know
what’s going to happen
boy, do I care

the president slings his shit
at senators and their ilk
what are we going to do
with this shithead
in the Oval Office?

Dicky Durbin
is that all you got, bruh
Dicky Durbin
is that all you got, bruh
you’re losing your touch
losing your touch

[bridge]
we’ve got to fight
the good fight
if Trump is going to sling the mud
we’ve got to sling the love

I believe we’re going to win
just got to vote when we get our chance
that chance will come soon enough
we’re going to win
we’re going to win
we’re going to win

Things That Annoy Me About Twitter & How I Would Fix Them With A New Service

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Here are things that annoy me about Twitter

1. Lack Of Organization
Twitter is just a open sewer of tweets flooding through the Internet. If you established a site based on Usenet concepts, the whole thing would be significantly easier to use. You’d have Groups (created and lightly administered by Verified Account holders) on specific subjects that you could participate in in a constructive manner.

2. Lack Of True Realtime Communication
Tweets are not real time. I want Slack for the masses. I want the old AOL Chatrooms brought back in such a manner that you can have a lot of people talking about a subject in a constructive manner.

3. Poor Onboarding
There is a really sharp learning curve for Twitter, at least in my opinion. If I had any say on the matter, I would have a lot hand-holding when it came to getting people involved in the service from the beginning.

Having said all that, it’s annoying no one is listens to me. I wish I had money.

Use Case: The New York Times & A Social Media Platform Based On Usenet Concepts

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I’m bored, so here’s another use case for my social media platform concept that is just my personal daydream. Imagine there’s some breaking news about the Trump Administration. The New York Times writes a story about it and if my concept were real, they could shoot the entire story into the platform.

Here’s where the cool stuff happens. The game changing stuff.

See, not only could they keep the formatting and advertising of the original article, but users would be able to inline edit the content (in other words quote the article directly and write within it) in such a way that people would be engaging with both the content and the advertising in manner that could be profitable for both The New York Times and the service that enabled the whole thing to begin with.

I would say, at least from a content producer’s standpoint, that’s the most compelling use case of this proposed service. It’s really cool. It’s a completely different way of using content. Too bad no one listens to me and this just me daydreaming in a public manner.