‘Cunning’ — #Lyrics To Raunchy Adult Contemporary Song

Sometimes I stumble across a modern pop song that I didn’t know about that is actually REALLY GOOD! And that is the case with Ariana Grande’s “Motive.” One more tick towards rock and it’d actually be pop rock. Anyway, I know how Ari loves dirty fucking songs, so here you go. This song would be in the same vibe as “Motive.”

Cunning
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

Come here and be cunning
use your lips between my hips
spell out my name without any shame
you can speak French if you like
maybe even a little Greek
but want I wanna know is
are you

(chorus)
a cunning linguist
can you speak in tongues
are you a cunning linguist
can you speak in tongues
if you can I want some

I can read very well
the way you speak in tongues
got me on the top rung
I’m waiting for it to happen
just for fun

if you’re good you can go lower
so we can’t get much higher
I can be such a flirt
when I’m ready to squirt

(bridge)
in and out ain’t a enough
it just can’t make me shout
you gotta touch me just right
pucker your lips on my lips
we’ll be fucking just right
with delight

(chorus)
a cunning linguist
can you speak in tongues
are you a cunning linguist
can you speak in tongues
if you can I want some

Would Be Autocrat Hot-Take: Mike Pompeo


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Mike Pompeo is such a piece of shit. He’s a big old turd who thinks he can bring about the return of Jesus H. Christ by, I don’t know, using Trump as the Anti-Christ of or something? And, given what a fucking cocksucker he is, if the FBI looks at this post I want them to know that that I REALLY THINK MIKE POMPEO IS PEICE OF SHIT.

He’s so fucking annoying because the moment he becomes president, he’s coming after people like me. I’m just the kind of loudmouth that he’s going to round up and get ICE to shoot in the back of the head. Ugh. At least I have four years to get out of the country, I guess.

There’s something so grating on my nerves about Pompeo. He talks about “swagger” then turns around and sucks up to any foreign leader who helps him politically in his scorched earth desire to become president and bring back Jesus H. Fucking Christ.

I know there’s nothing I can do in real terms, though. Pompeo is one a few would-be autocrats who could probably strangle our liberal democracy in one fell swoop without bungling the transition so we end up having a civil war.

But let me be clear — this is just me pointing out a coming car accident. There’s nothing I can do about any of this. I just need to vent about how the country I love is going to go from a liberal democracy to Pompeolandia within about five years.

Fuck Mike Pompeo. Ugh!

TNT: ‘Velvet Fist 2024’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

If Trump decides to use Ivanka as his proxy in some way for the 2024 election, or if he doesn’t and simply names her his veep, “TNT 2024,” then we could very well find ourselves at some point living under the Velvet Fist.

If it’s not Ivanka, it’s Lara.

But in the end, we’ll have a dumb-dumb blonde as President while Mike Pompeo — or pick a would-be autocrat — is veep and crushes out liberal democracy once a for all. I just don’t see how this doesn’t happen.

Because of Rona and Jim Clyburn we’ve managed to accidently punt one of two possibilities (civil war or autocracy) down the road for about four years. But that’s it. Something I simply can not predict would have to happen for one of those two things not to happen.

We’re absolutely fucked.

I can’t predict specifics, but everything I’m reading about the rise of Hitler and tyranny in general on a macro level indicates everything is going to go to shit very, very quickly about 2024-2025. And it’s probably going to be some variation of the Velvet Fist.

It just makes too much sense — we have our first female president who is all rainbows and moonbeams and then our veep who is Richard III. Things are going to get very fucking dark.

Get out of the country while you can. Go to somewhere like Perth. But the United States is either going to buckle in to civil war or turn into some sort of weird Upside Down MAGA hellscape. The only way we’re ever getting read of the Velvet Fist, of course, will be how we always get rid of autocratic regimes — they fuck up in a huge way. Too bad millions may have to die in the process to get us to that point.

The Future With No Shock: The ‘Strange Days’ Of The Soft Singularity


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It seems as though the Soft Singularity is here. Advances in AI, automation and what I call “digital telepathy” have reached a critical juncture. And, yet, it seems as though Big Tech is fucking with us — they’re using a lot of new advances in the darkness because, what, they don’t want to spook us?

I find this very annoying because I really want my fucking $1,200 mindcap that allows us to skip the MX (VR – AR) phase of things and go directly to Strange Days shit.

And I’m not talking about a fucking Neural Link where you have to drill into someone’s head — I’m talking about something like what you find in Strange Days or Odyssey 3: Final Odyssey that happens by simply laying the device on your head. No drilling necessary. It’s unintrusive mind reading. In fact, imagine if you could harness the processing power of your own mind as part of mindcap. That’s some next level Singularity shit right there. If you could ride off your own wetware for processing power, wow!

And if you assume like I do that Big Tech (Tik-Tok) can already read our fucking minds, then what I’m proposing isn’t really that big a deal. If they can read our minds without touching our skulls, imagine what they can do if they have something that actually touches your skull?

But, again, no one listens to me.

Yet, I do think we’re probably within the Event Horizon of some sort of Singularity. It’s as if Netscape was only an enterprise company and only people in the bowels of the Big Tech knew about the World Wide Web. I feel as though for crass power and monetary reasons that there’s a chance a lot of Singularity-ish advancements have been made and…we’re supposed to be stuck wanting to get into Clubhouse of all things?

Or, put another way, I just feel something’s up. I don’t know what it is, but for some reason The Powers That Be have decided to hide some pretty big technological advancements from us for the time being. There’s bound to be a reckoning at some point. You can’t keep being able to read people’s minds via their cellphones a secret forever, you know.

I guess they’re going to try.

But, let me be clear — I have no absolute proof that Tik-Tok is rummaging through my mind. But I do feel as though it’s something we should think about being possible.

That Silicon Valley Is Buzzing About Clubhouse Is Comical


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have a sense of why Clubhouse is popular — you participate in a Zoom-like meeting while taking a dump. Or nude. Or whatever. So, that causes a lot of powerful people to want to participate. Throw in artificial scarcity and you have the makings of a very popular site.

But, bruh, where is my Mindcap?

If Big Tech would just admit that they can read our minds, then after everyone stopped being shocked, Big Tech could say, “Within 18 months we’ll be selling you Mindcaps for $1,200.”

And, yet, what’s got the attention of Silicon Valley? A digital version of a rural party line. COME ON. It’s all very strange. It’s strange that Silicon Valley is so disconnected from the Steve Jobs ethos of putting a “dent in the universe” that they’re screwing around with something as inward looking as Clubhouse.

Whatever. I have a novel to work on.

The Third Great Cataclysm


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It’s at least possible when the United States finally buckles, it will be up there will the fall of the two Romes in its significance. The reason is — the United States holds the entire world together.

If we’re too busy killing each other — or we just pull a Dr. Manhattan on world affairs — everything is going to go tits up pretty quick. The number of dead could get up into the 100s millions.

I just don’t think the average person realizes how rotten the American political system is. When America at last buckles, it will happen so quickly that we won’t be able to process it.

The core issue is — is the United States going to have a civil war or become an entirely inward looking autocracy? As of right now, I honestly have no clue which of these two possibilities will come true — but I do know it will be one of them.

A lot depends on if House Trump bungles the transition to Truamplandia or not in the 2024-2025 period. If there’s a smooth transition to the “Velvet Fist” of, say, Ivanka Trump / Tom Cotton or Lara Trump / Josh Hawley, then, well, we’ll be an autocracy. But if they fuck things up like they always do, then we’ll have a civil war.

As I say, get out the country if you can.

Think Bigger, Silicon Valley


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I only talk about this again because I can not believe that of all the things generating buzz right now fucking a digital version of the old rural party line — Clubhouse — is huge. What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Where’s all the talk of “disrupting” the way we live in fundimental ways? Meh. Give me a Mindcap like in Arthur C. Clarke’s 3001: The Final Odyssey instead of a tech weenie circle jerk.

But, I don’t see my vision happening. Even if Big Tech can read my mind as I suspect, no one cares,. I’m just a rando writing a novel. Though, to be fair to myself, I am using some of my allotted words to give people my personal vision of how some of the technology I believe SHOULD exist would be used in a practical fashion.

That’s one of the unexpected aspects of this novel — how much it’s veered off into practical scifi in ways I didn’t really expect. But I really need to just throw myself back into this novel again.

This weekend I kind of relaxed. Now it’s time write write write. Maybe I’ll inspire so nerd to change our lives again en mass.

The Post Rona World Is Upon Us: Summer Is Looking Good


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m calling it — it’s going to be a party in the USA on July 4th. That’s when I think Rona will finally be behind us and things will get back to “normal.” Everyone who wants a “jab” as the British would say will get one. Travel will get back to normal. Wealthy people will go back to making poor people like me “curse the bread” and doing secret back channels in the Seychelles.

It’s very possible that the 18 months of Rona will be completely value free. The only thing to come from it all will be a defeat of Donald Fucking Trump at the polls. Otherwise, it will go down the memory hole and we get to enjoy our Weimar America leading up to the final strangling of our democracy by the Nazi Republicans in 2024.

At least, that’s what it seems like.

Really, the only thing I’m nervous about is the age of some of the people in power right now. Prince Phillip is old as fuck. The Queen is no spring chicken. And Joe Biden is almost 80. I hope all of them live for many more years, but we have to be honest with ourselves at some point.

But anyway, the point is, by this fall, it’s very likely it will be like Rona never happened. Republicans, of course, will still be screaming about “cancel culture” and having absolutely no policies other than “fuck your feelings but my feelings are sacred.”

Our Zombie Republic: A Review of Ezra Klein’s ‘Why We’re Polarized’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It’s comical — in a tragic, macro kind of way. The United States is one presidential election away from tyranny and we’re all supposed to just sleep until it happens.

Remember, the issue is, the Republican Party no longer believes in politics as we conceive of it in a liberal democracy and see democracy as a means to either obtain or maintain power. That’s it. They have no policies other than screaming about “cancel culture” while they wait to take power again (then never let it go.)

Reading Ezra Klein’s “Why We’re Polarized” changed my (political) life for how it opened my eyes as to the crux of problems before us. It all boils down to white people are nervous about losing the majority and, as such, some basic concepts about the American experience that I assumed were just, well, the American way are actually all lie. (In a sense.)

The lie is — America is an idea and a melting pot so we race, while our original sin, is something we’ve gotten past on an institutional level. Psyche! Turns out the idea of “America is an idea” is, actually a phantasm. America is only an idea when white people feel comfortable with their place on top. Now that that’s changed, well, we have (waves hand) all this. It’s an idea when white people allow it to be an idea. Otherwise, fuck you, it’s blood and soil. Remember, in the 1850s, it was Germans that everyone was worried about! But, as I’ve written before — it’s also white blue collar men who now can’t get laid that are a problem in our politics.

Anyway, I loved Klein’s book but for one thing — the ending. The ending s u c k e d. The reason — all the solutions he proposed at the end of the book were useless. Me, a deranged anonymous crank on the Internet, have been able to come up with at least one solution better than all his pie-in-the-sky “solutions.” I propose that we institute National Service over the next four years if we want to save our Republic.

In fact, National Service is the ONLY way to solve our current long-term macro problems. If every 18 year old was absolutely fucking forced to live with someone from outside their state regardless of their education or life goals then our common sense of what it means to be “American” would be significantly re-inforced.

Klein’s solutions were the political equivalent of hoping Jesus Christ comes back.

So, if you can simply stop reading when you get the last chapter, I think you’ll really enjoy Klein’s book. It really, really helped me understand why were so totally, completely fucked.

The End Of Politics & The Looming Second American Civil War


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Most of the traffic this site gets now is from people nervous about the possibility of a Second American Civil War. They have every right to be. American politics isn’t functioning anymore and either, in the end, the United States becomes an autocracy or we implode into civil war / revolution. At least, that’s the macro trend as of March, 2021.

I’ve been reading as much as I can about the rise of Hitler and, in general, tyranny. It definitely seems as though the recent Capitol Insurrection is just a sign of things to come. Only because Trump is a fucking lazy idiot are we not, right now, either in a civil war or in the final stages of some sort of autocratic consolidation of power.

But, here we are.

We’ve punted the existential threat the GQP don’t the road maybe four years. All the conditions are there for the GQP to, at last, strangle American liberal democracy in 2024. Republicans will control Congress in 2024 and since they hate democracy as much as they hate brown people and women with sexual agency, when the exact same thing that happened in 2020 happens AGAIN, well, we’re just fucked.

We either have a civil war or we turn into a MAGA-Qanon themed autocracy. As I keep saying, get out while you still can. If there is a Second Civil War, you would be a fool to think WMD won’t be stolen at some point and used. We’re going to nuke ourselves out of existence. That’s how civil wars are — they’re nasty and sometimes go in directions you can’t expect.

So, for the time being, we’ve punted the specific crisis of a civil war down the road. But when the time comes — around 2024 – 2025 — we’re going to be faced with the same choice we were faced with in 2020: autocracy or civil war?