Of Stormy Daniels, Donald Trump & Bill Clinton

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

So, I’m old enough to remember how apoplectic the Right got about Bill Clinton’s bimbo eruptions. And so here we are 20 years later with a new sex scandal and we’re hearing not a peep from them. It would be funny if it wasn’t so tragic.

It’s really, really tragic.

But we’ll see. We’ll see if anything comes of it. It will be interesting to see if anything comes of all of this. It probably won’t. It probably will all be just another scandal that Trump manages to avoid any serious problems with.

‘No Sign O The Times’ — #Lyrics To Funk Anti-Trump Protest Song

This is just me screwing around. I’m trying to write a homage to Prince’s Sign O The Times that talks about how Trump not signing his hush agreement with with Stormy Daniels is pretty typical of this era we now live in. Let me stress, I have no beats and I’m just screwing around.

No Sign O The Times
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

in this crazy era of ours what can I say
our leaders demand hush agreements of lovers
so they can be president
then they….don’t sign
if that’s not a sign of the times
I don’t know what is
if you get what I mean
if you get what I mean
if you get what I mean

it’s no sign o the times
I’m afraid
people want all the power
but none of the responsibility
they think they can get away with it all
and we’ll ignore it
as long as we’re entertained

it’s no sign o the times
it’s no sign o the times
it’s no sign o the times

[bridge]
but we can only hope
that the people are no dopes
that they won’t be rubes
that they can see the truth

it’s no sign o the times
it’s no sign o the times
it’s no sign o the times

‘Take The Money, Stormy’ — #Lyrics To A R&B Anti-Trump Protest Song

This is not meant to be a parody song, but I could see how one might think it is. The issue is, I just don’t have beats, so I have to listen to existing songs to get some beat structure. But this song would be a R&B song about how Trump got Stormy Daniels to sign a hush money agreement.

Take The Money, Stormy
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

last night I read the polls
it seems as though things are very close
we’ve had our good times and our bad
sent you pictures I shouldn’t have
now it’s time for our love to end
so all I can say for the sake of the nation is

take the money, Stormy
it’s for the best
take the money Stormy
I can ask no less

I’m not a perfect man I know
you remind me of Ivanka as I’ve said
but she’s my daughter so she I can not bed
you’re as beautiful as they come
yet things have come to an end for us
my desire to make myself president
only makes Melania hiss

take the money, Stormy
it’s for the best
take the money Stormy
I can ask no less

[bridge]
your touch was lovely
made me feel so big and so strong
it’s obvious though
we can no longer get along

when this is all over
maybe we can talk
but it’s time for this to be over
election is almost hear
and I can’t roll over and let you talk
to the fake news press

take the money, Stormy
take the money, Stormy
take the money, Stormy

A War With The DPRK Would Be Bigger Than 9/11

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

As you may recall, in early September 2001, the Bush Administration was struggling for validity after the 2000 Electoral College controversy. Not a lot was going on and we were all worried that a recession was on its way. In fact, I doubt anyone remembers what was going on the morning of Tuesday, Sept. 11, 2001 because we collectively didn’t really wake up until we were being told we should support a preemptive war against Iraq.

And so here we are in 2018. The Trump Administration seems teetering towards the brink of abject disaster. This is the point when it seems pretty obvious that a way with the DPRK is Trump’s failsafe. It’s the leaver he can pull that will make all of this go away. In the chaos after a war with the DPRK begins, he can finally fire Sessions, fire Mueller, pardon everyone he wants to pardon and we’ll all wakeup in 2025 to President Tom Cotton being sworn in.

People like me will try to bring up all the things we’re talking about right now, but I’ll just be hushed and and told to support the new president, to give him a chance. It’s a very tragic way to finally liberate the long-suffering people of North Korea, but I do believe there is a better than even chance that a war between the US and the DPRK will happen in August 2018.

I say August because if you’re someone deep in the bowls of the Trump Administration, you probably think that if you start a war in August, it’ll be wrapped up by November and Lee Greenwood will be on the radio belting out God Bless The USA the morning people head to the polls.

Of course, there are any number of potential complications that make this scenario far from absolutely likely. As I keep saying, it’s likely the DPRK has sleeper cells in the US that could cause major havoc should they be activated. And the public might blanch at 20,30 or 40,000 American expats dying during the course of a war with the DPRK. The sheer number of people who might die as a result of such a war might be enough to turn people off an cause the Blue Wave to be very real.

But that’s not how the John Boltons of the world would see things. They would think people would rally around the flag like the did after 9/11 and all of Trump’s problems would vanish down the memory hole. Only time will tell, I guess.

If We See Pictures Of Trump’s Dick From Stormy Daniels’ Sexts, Will It Matter?

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

These are the times that try men’s souls.

It’s possible that Stormy Daniels has, uh, “pictures” she got during her affair with Donald Trump. I am jumping to conclusions, but if those pictures are of Trump’s junk….lulz, nothing matters? I mean, would it really matter? Trump seems to have a God-like hold on his supporters, so the whole seeing Trump’s junk probably wouldn’t phase them.

I would like to think, however, that that might be rock bottom. That once we all get to see Trump’s junk that that would be it. Trump would still be president, still have the power to ruin everything, but psychologically, we would have reached the total be-all-end-all of how bad it could possibly get with Trump as president.

But nothing matters. That 35% of the electorate who would drink Trump’s Jim Jones Kool-Aide seem to control the country now, so we’re fucked. We all so very fucked.

John Bolton As National Security Adviser Would Mean DPRK War Is Coming

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Among the many insane things happening today is the news that John Bolton was seen at the White House. This is very bad news for anyone who hopes we will take a serious look at the good news going on between the two Koreas and take a step back from war.

I have said, and continue to believe, that if you look at what we know about what’s going on politically with Trump right now that it would make sense that we would go to war with the DPRK around August of this year. I say that because August is perfect because if it starts then, the war would probably be wrapped up by early November — at the cost of a million dead, natch — and old Lee Greenwood will be belting out that Iraq War classic “God Bless The USA.”

I say this because Trump lacks any human empathy and wouldn’t care about the massive lost of human life, Trump knows he will be impeached — if not convicted — if he loses Congress to a Blue Wave, and he’s so desperate to improve is poll ratings that a quick, bloody war would be perfect.

John Bolton has a history of being a warmonger and if he has the president’s ear on a regular basis, it makes sense that my prediction is more accurate than ever. It hasn’t happened yet, but as the Mueller investigation continues its march across Trumplandia, it seems all but inevitable that Trump, in a panic, will start a war with the DPRK to make it all go away.

A war with the DPRK would give Trump an enormous reboot. It’s his political failsafe. It’s the thing he has in his back pocket no matter what. Of course, war is a pretty crazy thing. Any number of pretty catastrophic things could happen if a war with the DPRK starts. There might be North Korean sleeper cells in the United States that would be activated. That alone could be the cause of a few hundred thousand civilian dead if they release chemical or biological weapons on the American homeland. That doesn’t even begin to address the threat from a fully functional ICBM or an attack on Japan.

I think Japan is the place we’re not giving enough thought about. While the DPRK has a love-hate relationship with South Korea, it has a hate-hate relationship with Japan. If it looks like the DPRK is finished, they will be sure to take as much of Japan down with them. That could be another million dead under the proper circumstances.

Regardless, John Bolton as National Security Adviser would mean this worst case scenario is one giant leap towards becoming a reality. We have to start taking the possibility of a war with the DPRK done for cold, crass white-knuckled political reasons as a real possibility.

The Big Reboot: It’s Inevitable That Trump Will Start A Preemptive War With DPRK

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I only keep writing about this because it seems so obvious. It’s obvious that something like this is going to happen: Trump sometime between now and, say, August, will start a preemptive war with the DPRK. As Trump grows more comfortable with this power, he will look around and realize there’s an easy way out of the looming impeachment he will face once Mueller finishes his job.

Start a war.

And, given how Trump lacks any sense of human empathy, he won’t really care that starting a war with the DPRK will sentence about 1 million people to death. Add to this that 100,000 Americans are within range of the DPRK’s weapons and the reboot we had politically with 9/11 will look like chump change. Think of what we were worried about in early September 2001 and how we didn’t wake up from the post-9/11 grief period until just before the run up to the Iraq War.

Now imagine 10,000 American civilians — at least – coming home in body bags as part of a renewed Korean War and how that would draw attention away from TrumpRussia and how, generally Trump is completely incompetent. Trump could easily cruise into a second term should a war with the DPRK happen, regardless of the reason behind it. So that’s why I think we’re going to war with the DPRK between now and August. I say August because that would give the American military a few months to crush the DPRK and have the troops coming home in a big ass parade just around the time voters would go to the polls in November. At least, that would be the thinking of the Trump Administration.

The is little we can do about all of this, given the enormous power the American presidency has when it comes to starting wars.

#MAGA, The Blue Wave & Trump’s Coming Preemptive War With The DPRK

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

If you wanted to get all reflective about things, one might say that had Hillary Clinton won the Electoral Vote and was president now, things would actually be worse. I say this because Trump would have the best of both worlds — he could bitch an moan on Twitter all day about how bad things were, but wouldn’t have to actually do anything about it. Add to this how he probably would start Trump TV and you can see how things could be worse. And, what’s even worse, the same insane nutjobs who wanted to march on Washington and establish a deathcult in late October 2016, would be growing ever more hysterical.

As it stands, however, what’s going on is this: the Resistance needs time to rebuild its ranks of leadership. So, it’s going to be a while. The earliest anything is going possibly change is November 2018. Even then, between November and January, the lame duck session of Congress probably is going to cram in as many insane Federal judges as it can. But given that I think Trump is going to short-circuit the Blue Wave by starting a war with the DPRK between now and August, it could be much, much longer before anything changes. In fact, my big fear is the entire system is so broken that it could be a decade or more before The Resistance finally comes to power and even then everything will have changed so much that things simply won’t be able to snap back into place.

Having said all that, we need to think about that 35% of the electorate that continues to support Trump. It reminds me of the old SNL skit, “How’s He Doing” that had a round table of African Americans giving their views on Obama. I really think SNL needs to do a similar skit with Trump supporters. The issue is, and this is one I continue to struggle with: why is it so difficult for Trump supporters to see they’ve been duped.

This is not to say that they don’t have legitimate grievances, they do. They have a whole host of reasons why they should be upset with the existing order. I get that. But what I don’t get is their continued support for Trump personally.

And, really, the only thing that can give us any hope is that Trump doesn’t have any ideology other than winning the moment and whatever he tweets at any particular time. If he had an ideology he had thought through and was willing to defend, he would be a real danger to the Republic.

But, fortunately, he doesn’t have that. But what he does have as his fail safe is the ability to start a preemptive war with the DPRK. I still think that’s in his pocket. If things get too bad, he just arbitrarily starts a war with North Korea, kills about a million people needlessly and that’s that. We wake up in 2025 with President Tom Cotton getting sworn in.

Sadly, there’s no much we can do about it. I have proposed that the war with the DPRK will start between now and August 2018 and I have not seen anything to make me think otherwise. It has nothing to do with what is going on in Korea and everything to do with the continuing domestic crisis that is Donald J. Trump. A massive war with the DPRK will give Trump spectacular approval rating for a just long enough to prevent the Blue Wave from happening. That core 35% of the electorate who continue to support Trump no matter what will be the basis of a scary realignment of the American body politic as Trump becomes a war president.

And there’s not much we can do about it.

Fail Safe: Trump Will Start A War With The #DPRK By August To Stop The Blue Wave

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

While it seems as though peace has broken out in Korea, I have some serious doubts. I still believe that for cold, hard political reasons, Trump will start a war with the DPRK between now and early August. What may or may not be actually happening between the two Koreans has zero to do with what Trump knows in his gut: if he starts a war with the DPRK all his problems with Mueller will vanish and we’re headed towards an Iran-Contra style wrap up of the issue. In other words: squat happens.

So, hang on to your hats, folks. The Blue Wave won’t happen because of an epic wag the dog operation the likes of which we’ve never seen. A quick, bloody war will happen in Korea and by November, Lee Greenwood will have popped out yet again from his hole and be belting out “God Bless The USA.”

I hope I’m wrong. I really do. It will be a historic tragedy if I’m right.

V-Log: A Preemptive War Between #DPRK & USA Is Inevitable By August 2018

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

This is a really long, but interesting v-log of me walking and talking about why I believe war between the US and the DPRK is all but inevitable by August, 2018. Enjoy!