Talk To Me Internet: Writing A Novel, Etc.

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

This one meanders, but in it I go into a lot of detail about the state of the novel I’m writing.

Talk To Me Internet: Some Musing About Writing A Novel Versus A Screenplay

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

The interesting thing about writing a novel as opposed to a screenplay is how much more of a community there is with a screenplay. I have tried — and failed — to write a screenplay in the past and people got really excited. Writing a novel, meanwhile, is a much more solitary venture. You have to think deeply and reflect on the universe you’ve created because you can’t just rely upon your director to show it for you.

Meanwhile, I still think Ilana Glazer would be a great Bond Girl. She’s perfect for such a role. It would put a modern twist on a pretty traditional role. Additionally, I think Twitter should do away with Periscope altogether and put all its features in the main Twitter app.

Why Ilana Glazer Is Perfect For The Bond Franchise

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I only keep mentioning this because I’m a big fan of both Ilana Glazer and James Bond and it’s fun to daydream about it. I just like the idea of Bond falling for a woman like Ilana Glazer. It would, in my opinion be a real crowd pleaser of a pair up.

One reason I suggestion this is while I really love the James Bond franchise, it’s become so serious, self-important and overwrought of late that it would be fun to stick someone as funny as Ms. Glazer in it and let her run loose within it.

Bond Girls tend to be ethereal and aspirational for the typical male audience member. It would be fun to have Ms. Glazer — who is not a traditional Hollywood beauty — beguile Bond through sheer force of personality. A lot of people would think it was a hoot that Bond fell for someone who looked and acted like Ms. Glazer.

I am well aware that this isn’t going to happen, but it’s just something fun-interesting to daydream about.

‘No Man’s Land’ — #Lyrics To A Woke #EDM-Pop Fusion Song

The music to this would be Sia-like. It would be really dancable and pop, but the lyric would be serious. My goal is a muddle story about both a relationship coming to an end and a war between North Korea and the United States.

No Man’s Land
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

no man’s land is where we live
no man’s land is where we live

do we deserve this plight
living in fright under dirt
the end has come I’m afraid
with a burst of flames
our cities are rubble
all that’s left is stubble

but I want to believe we’ll rise again
get the chance to live in sin as friends
things have gone too far
leaving each of us with scares

no man’s land is where we live
dig in deep
no man’s land is where we live
toxic smoke makes us choke

we had our chance to live together
but it all fell apart
now we each walk alone
we do nothing but moan
love was our last resort
but we let it pass without a glance

when will this pain end
will kindness ever again be our friend
I have no idea
you tell me, you tell me, you tell me

no man’s land is where we live
dig in deep
no man’s land is where we live
toxic smoke makes us choke

[bridge]
we’re all a little crazy
the haze of destruction is all around
maybe we’ll be able survive
by sunrise

what we once had is now gone
but I still believe, believe, believe
we can still come together
and be free

no man’s land is where we live
no man’s land is where we live

‘War Of Words’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Pop-Rock Song

This is meant to be an update of Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s Two Tribes. It would have music that was really dancable and pop-rock in nature.

War of Words
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

a war of words
is all fine and dandy
until blood is spilled
and we’re all on the run

a war of words
is all fine and dandy
until blood is spilled
and we’re all on the run

this war of words
will not have a happy ending I’m afraid
I’m afraid
I’m afraid
I’m afraid
grab your partner while you can
try to get laid
because the end is laid before us

we’re in a war of words
we’re in the middle
fighting for our lives
hoping we get to see the dawn
will things come undone, undone, undone

a war of words
a war of words
a war of words
is all fine and dandy
until blood is spilled
and we’re all on the run

[bridge]
we all hope peace will arrive
so we can go back to drinking wine
but the way things are going
that’s just not in the cards

when the end does come
be sure to be with someone you love
’cause you only have one life
when the darkness comes all your delight
will be in full flight

‘Dotard’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Pop-Rock Song

This would be a slow pop-rock song like Pearl Jam’s “Garden.” That, at least, is my vision for it.

Dotard
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

the radiation drifts over the scorched earth
the dirt glows late a night
these visions give me a fright
as I awake in the middle of the night
with fate in my face teasing me
as it please

Trumplandia is ruled by a dotard
who doesn’t know where he is
the dotard will bring our end
is it just another sin

the dotard is a risk to us all
the dotard will destroy the world
if we don’t contain him now
dotard, dotard, dotard

the red alert is being sounded
the tweets are being written
the end is about to arrive
the animals churp in fear

the dotard is a risk to us all
the dotard will destroy the world
if we don’t contain him now
dotard, dotard, dotard

[bridge]
what can we do that’s my question
how can we fix this problem soon
when we all feel so doomed

but we’re all going to have to surive
death coming down from the skies
if we don’t vote the tyrant out
there can be no doubt

Talk To Me Internet: Ilana Glazer As A Bond Girl & #Writing A #Novel

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

In this one I talk about #writing my #novel, #art and how I think Ilana Glazer of Broad City should be a James Bond 007 girl. I also talk about middle-age #romance and how I wish I had a girlfriend to go with me on my upcoming trip to #NYC where I am supposed to stay at the W Hotel. I also talk about #women and their beauty both inside and out as well as #photography.

Talk To Me Internet: Doomsday Talk

by Shelton Bumgarner
In this one we talk about the end of the world, #aliens, the #Singularity and doomsday prepping. This is a really good conversation and I think you’ll like it. Be sure to like, follow and share Talk to Me Internet.

Talk To Me Internet: Of Online Privacy, Reddit & Martin Shkreli

In this one we talk about how much you should divulge online in #livestreaming as well as a little bit about Martin Shkreli. We also talk about #Reddit. We talk about the state of #Periscope. We go into some detail about why services like Periscope and #Blab seem to eventually be taken over by trolls and be unusable. Be sure to like the Talk To Me Internet page, follow it and share this video if you like it.

Ilana Glazer As A Potential Bond Girl & Her Inspiring A Character In My Novel

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I have a huge celebrity crush on Ilana Glazer of Broad City and I think she has the makings of a A1 Hollywood superstar because of her personality, if nothing else. But, to date, she’s not really been in anything of note outside of Broad City.

As a big fan of the James Bond franchise, I think it would be amusing, interesting and intriguing if she were cast as a Bond Girl. She’s not your typical Bond Girl by any stretch of the imagination, but given her broad appeal, I think a lot of people would enjoy seeing her matching wits with Bond. The Bond serious has become so epic and serious minded that Glazer would be perfect as comic relief. She would put her own unique spin on it all and I think it would be a real crow pleaser to cast her in such a role.

Meanwhile, I’m working on a novel and the female lead is — in part — based on Glazer. Glazer reminds me a great deal of someone in my own life and I am drawing upon Glazer’s public persona to build out the character. The character is a little bit younger than Glazer, so I couldn’t see her playing the character in any daydream possible movie adaptation, but still.

I am currently working on the outline of the novel and it’s a lot of fun. I don’t know if my writing is good enough to make the actual end product something anyone will want to read, but I enjoy the process of doing it, regardless.