‘Hot Spot’ — #Lyrics To A Dance Pop Song

If you can’t figure out what this one is about, you’re a moron. But in the tradition of “How Many Licks” and “Let It Bleed” this one talks about something fairly dirty in a hopefully obscure enough way that it could get airplay. Women would know what it was about, that’s for damn sure.

Hot Spot
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

was it good for you
you say with a smile
I stare out into space
feeling all wet
knowing you couldn’t
find the spot
in my parking lot

when will you ever learn
basic geography
you’re looking with desire
for something that’s a little higher
stop thinking about yourself
maybe then things might click

the hot spot is where it’s at
no need to laugh
the hot spot all needs is a flick
a flick of your trigger

hot spot
hot spot
hot spot

don’t mean to be a nag
but it’s not going to find itself
we’ve been over this before
what you have to do for a roar
it’s not tricky
maybe a little sticky

I can’t explain
why do I have to complain
you waste my time with your length of time
but you can’t get the job done
I sit back and sigh

the hot spot is where it’s at
no need to laugh
the hot spot all needs is a flick
a flick of your trigger

hot spot
hot spot
hot spot

[bridge]
get it right
fill me with delight
let the waters cool you down
if you’re enough of a man

when the sun rises
maybe sunspots will be seen
but all I know is you can’t find
my hotspot

‘Waiting On You’ — #Lyrics To A Dance Pop Song

This one is about me waiting for New York Magazine to do a follow up on #FOTUS and how my life is generally in flames. But in my imagination this is sung by a woman. Women need songs like this at a club because they generally don’t feel comfortable making the first move.

Waiting On You
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

I sit in my dark corner
watching the people walk by
girls and guys making love
with their eyes
you see me I know
so here I am
waiting on you

waiting on you is such a shame
why do you let this wither
no need to give me a come hither

waiting on you
is not a waste of time
waiting on you
while the music roars
waiting on you

you lick your lips giving me fits
but if you don’t make a move
there won’t be any heat
when our lips hit
why do I have to stand here
all night long along
waiting on you
what to do

you think you’ve got me figured out
don’t know what that’s all about
I have you round my finger
might make it linger
you need to make your move
what happens next is up to you
waiting on you

waiting on you is such a shame
why do you let this wither
no need to give me a come hither

waiting on you
is not a waste of time
waiting on you
while the music roars
waiting on you

[bridge]
when the waiting’s done
we’ll run into the night
knowing what’s about to light
we’ll burn our love
faster than the sun

my friends tell me I’m fool
plenty of other fish floating ’round
but you’re all a part of my plan
when the time comes to get down
there’ll be no more
waiting on you
waiting on you
waiting on you

‘Alone’ — #Lyrics To A Pop-Rock Song

This is meant to be a slow pop rock song like Radiohead might perform. Maybe more of The Bends kind of song, but still.

Alone
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or preform

in crowd you stare into the darkness
people rush about
what’s that all about
you sit down and people move
to get away from you

we’re all in this together
at least that’s what they say
but much to my dismay
the sky is gray
and I’m

alone
alone
alone

not lonely that’s for sure
quiet content
if you don’t like it
you can just get bent
when the hammer falls at last
it’ll be such a gas

she looks in your eyes
giving you all the sighs
but she’s looking right past you
at some dude over your shoulder
leaving you to smoulder

alone
alone
alone

[bridge]
when I was cool
didn’t think it’d leave
thought the sun and earth was for me
but it was not to be

now let’s move on
find some other place
where we’re ready to accept
ready to accept that we’re

alone
alone
alone

‘The Center Will Not Hold’ –#Lyrics To A Pop Song

This one is about how crappy my life is right now. It would be a slow pop song.

The Center Will Not Hold
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

the center will not hold
they keep moving the goals
if you’ve got someone to hold
hold on tight
we’re in for it now
maybe we should just be glad
the center will not hold

when you think got it straight
life throws you a curve
then you have to have the nerve
to get what you deserve
but there’s no way out now
’cause the center will not hold

I wish I could give you a kiss
maybe one last wish before a hiss
but when things are all said and done
I know where I’ll run, run, run
not where I should be safe because
the center will not hold
the center will not hold
the center will not hold

[bridge]
things used to be so much simpler
you know it’s true
we all had money coming in
we were poor we roared

the center will not hold

when you’re done with your hope
life’s finally give you enough rope
that’s when you have exclaim
that you’ve just got to sing
as you sing down below
to your fate
because the center, the center
will not hold
will not hold
will not hold

‘The Luckiest Man In The World’ — #Lyrics To A Country Music Song

I don’t what’s going on with this one. I’m looking for a concept and it’s not quite there.

The Luckiest Man In The World
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

we’ve been here before
me sleeping in my car
you yelling all night long
throwing your ring
telling me it has a flaw
but in my heart I know I’m
the luckiest man in the world
the luckiest man in the world
the luckiest man in the world

lost my job yet again
staring at ceiling
as my mind is reeling
how do I get out of this spot
when everything seems to be rot
but good for me I’m the
the luckiest man in the world
the luckiest man in the world
the luckiest man in the world

can’t make rent it seems
there go all my dreams
down the drain yet again
but what do I know
maybe it’s just a lie ’cause I’m
the luckiest man in the world
the luckiest man in the world
the luckiest man in the world

‘On Repeat’ — #Lyrics To A Country Music Song

This is about me being obsessed with the #FOTUS theory.

On Repeat
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

this record is skipping
my mind is flipping
thinking of you
wondering where’d you go
now I’m alone
that’s all she wrote

and I’m on repeat
knowing I’m not complete
’cause of the guys with whom
I can’t compete
thought I could make the leap
but I’m on repeat

I’m on repeat
I’m on repeat
don’t call it obsession
I’m just on repeat

the word on the street says
I’m gone I’m beat
no way I can recover
grapevine is all sour
at this late hour

I’m not done yet
at least in my mind
all I can do though is sigh
when the clock strikes again
maybe we’ll still be friends

I’m on repeat
I’m on repeat
don’t call it obsession
I’m just on repeat

[bridge]
make it stop
let’s end it all
just accept my call
if I may have the gall

but it’s not to be
you’re just going to flee
’cause I’ve spooked you
I’m just going to have to accept
feeling gray

I’m on repeat
I’m on repeat
don’t call it obsession
I’m just on repeat

‘Pardon Me’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Pop Song

This one is about Trump saying he can pardon himself. You’d probably have to soften it a bit to expect to get any airplay.

Pardon Me
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

done many crimes
spoken many lies
but you can’t catch me
in your deep net
because I’m the slickest you’ve seen
or least you can glean

pardon me
think I will
pardon me
pardon me
pardon me

I’ve got absolute power
to pardon myself for my rhymes
not need to chant
I’ll pick the locks
there’s nothing you can
can’t impeach my works
I’m a rock

when the people come to my door
with a mighty roar
they’ll never expect
the power of my ink
or a stray tweet from a bird
it’ll all be over I swear

pardon me
think I will
pardon me
pardon me
pardon me

[bridge]
when this is over
we’ll fly into the sky
even space will be my realm
the moon will stop and gawk
at the power of my word

I’m a king
sitting on a golden throne
only God can judge me
and I say let me free
when all is said and done
I’ll smile and say

pardon me
pardon me
pardon me

‘Hottie’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Song

I like songs that tell stories, so this tells the true story of an afternoon recently where I was trying to get the attention of a hottie on the patio of a restaurant in Richmond’s Carytown district.

Hottie
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

sun beating down
sunlight all around
drinking my beer
on the patio
what should I see
but you looking at me

sunglasses on
it didn’t take long
before I knew we were singing
singing the same song
don’t get me wrong
you might have been out my league
but you’re a hottie
let me declare

when will I learn
hotties come and go
it’s all just a scam
hottie, hottie, hottie

you looked at me
I looked at you
but what could I do
your friend was in the way
you were too far away
heard you say something stray
about a boyfriend I’m afraid

when will I learn
hotties come and go
it’s all just a scam
hottie, hottie, hottie

[bridge]
in my mind we spend the day
drinking, making friends
you came home with me
a new relationship did begin

in the end
I paid my tab
walked on by
you paused expecting a greeting
but the moment was fleeting
walked off into the heat
having never met the

hottie
hottie
hottie
hottie

‘Never Trend’ — #Lyrics To A Dance Pop Song

I have no beat, but in my imagination this would be a dance pop song where you clearly heard the lyrics.

Never Trend
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

never trend
in the end my friend
let me tell you
never trend
never trend
never trend

so you want to be famous
you say yes
scream and shout that’s
what it’s all about
want to see your name in lights
people know your name
but that’s a shame ’cause

never trend
in the end my friend
let me tell you
never trend
never trend
never trend

people spend all their lives
fighting for a chance at spotlight
starlight on their face is all they want
right now they cry
they live in anticipation
there wish will come true
but what can you do
’cause you’ll rue the day
you trend I’m afraid

never trend
in the end my friend
let me tell you
never trend
never trend
never trend

[bridge]
the Twitter box
is full of glitter
tweeting away with the deets
but you’ll regret it in thend
when you trend

but don’t listen to me
you’ll love it I bet when
everything comes crashing down
the moment you trend
and you’re on the run

never trend
in the end my friend
let me tell you
never trend
never trend
never trend

‘Married To Myself’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Song About Julia Allison

Julia Allison famously married herself at Burning Man one year. No one reads this blog and no definitely no one will ever produce any of my lyrics, but it’s relaxing to tell a story in verse.

Married To Myself
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

fires of Burning Man
shine off my eyes
’cause I’m married to myself
can’t find a man for my life
so I ditched them all
to be very alone
I’m married to myself

the cold streets of New York City
burn my soles as I walk with my bride
the world revolves around me
the sun won’t set unless I’m undressed
I get no rest making clocks run
’cause I’m married to myself

married to myself
don’t you fret
get all the sex I need
married to myself
married to myself

what more can a girl expect
being married to herself
we’re all alone in this world
except for me baby
’cause I’m married to myself

just let me wear white
’cause I’m out of sight
you can joke all you like
I’m a wonderful wife
’cause I’m married to myself

married to myself
don’t you fret
get all the sex I need
married to myself
married to myself

[bridge]
how it’d be great
to find a date
but I spend all my time
alone in my mind
married to myself

boys may catch my eyes
make me quiver with delight
but late at night when I’m with my bride
I just sigh
married to myself
married to myself
married to myself