The Sprint Begins

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m just about to lock down the first two chapters of the third draft of my first novel. It’s some of the best writing I’ve ever done. I’m really, really pleased. I just have to keep the quality of work up.

I’m never going to be Gillian Flynn, but I am at least getting closer to Stieg Larsson quality writing (I know I read his stuff translated). The key thing that changed in the last month or so is I’ve finally — finally — figured out the relationship between different people as the story opens.

As such, now I can zoom through the much of the novel. I still have a lot of issues with some structure ahead of me — especially in the third act –but, in general, I know this story so well that things writing *should* move at a pretty nice clip.

But there are some known unknowns. One is the holiday season is now here and that is going to scramble things on an emotional basis. Meanwhile, I’ve been in a very — VERY — idyllic situation when it comes to writing for a long time and that is bound to change — one way or another — sooner rather than later. I just have to accept that.

What’s more EVEN IF I stick the landing of this novel, the looming Fourth Turning and Petite Singularity starting in late 2024, early 2025 is something I’ve quite worried about. And that’s over and above what a stressful pain in the ass the querying process is on whole.

Anyway. Wish me luck.

A Character In Macro Focus

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I know, in general terms, the arc of a six novel project. As such, I’ve been forced into a corner in a number respects when constructing the first novel. There are a number of characters that I want to introduce in the first novel so we get to see them grow and change over the course of the six novels.

One character I’ve come up with is a woman who is just out of college as we open the first novel in late 1994. In my mind, she looks a lot like this:

Sadie Sink

As the story told in the six novels progresses, she slips in and out of the lives of the main characters that populate the various novels. In the end, about 25 years alter, she’s a tough-as-nails FBI agent that gives one of the main characters in the last two novels no end of trouble.

She looks looks like this:

Jessica Chastain
NEW YORK, NY – DECEMBER 04: Actress Jessica Chastain attends the “Zero Dark Thirty” New York Photo Call at Ritz Carlton Hotel on December 4, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images)

Things May Be About To Go REALLY FAST With This Third Draft Of My First Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

If my hunch is right and I’m able to lock down the first three chapters of this novel by, say, the end of November…hold on to your hats, we’re about to rock n roll. I say this because once I establish the basic relationships between all the characters, then a basic element of the story will be sorted out.

And if you factor in that I know most of the second act like the back of my hand at this point, then I can probably rewrite it quite quickly. The third act, though, oh boy. That’s the act that is going to be tough. If anything causes a delay in my mental timetable about when this novel will be “finished” and the post-production process begins, it’s figuring out a totally new third act.

That could soak up a significant amount of time.

But I am still, however, on track to start querying by no later than maybe September. That’s the dream. That’s the goal. Then a whole new era of this novel will begin. I’m well aware that everything sucks and I may be “on sub” for years…but, fuck it.

Let’s rock.

It Seems Possible The Hollywood Industrial Complex Isn’t Unaware Of My Dream

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

First, let me be clear — it’s extremely flattering if *anyone* connected to Hollywood or the literary world is in any way looking at this blog. I’m so living in oblivion at the moment that just the hint of such a thing being possible is enough to make my week — month?

The President of Hollywood
I only say this because of some rather odd pings in the depths of this blog, as if a lot is going on with the blog that I’m not seeing. I mean, why would someone give a shit about a whole page of me just idly talking on video in vague terms about a novel in this series? (The earlier you go in posts, the more likely the novel I’m talking about is actually the two novels that come from one big story that makes up the last two novels in a projected six novel series.)

I’m so blasé about all of this that I don’t even care that much. I mean, it would be *nice* if they were keeping tabs on this blog because they thought the general premise of the novel was cool and accessible. I’d prefer they not be looking at this blog because they want to take the premise I’ve come up as the premise of a screenplay.

But, I know this novel is getting really good. It’s really, really different and unexpected because it treats stripping in a rather matter-of-fact kind of way. It validates sex work in a non-salacious manner. Which, I think, will really appeal to women readers.

Even if I am a smelly CIS white male.

A Known Bug With The Third Draft Of My First Novel: Too Many Female Characters(?)

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Things are moving really, really fast now with the third draft. I hope to lock down the first three chapters by no later than the end of the month. I’m still on track to finish the third draft by about April 1st.

Looking over my copy, however, I’ve noticed something — I have an unusually high number of female characters. Now, this isn’t all bad — women read a lot of novels — but, lulz, I’m a smelly CIS white male, a member of the patriarchy, if you will, and there will be a bunch of fucking woke Xennials who make it VERY CLEAR that I have no right to write from a female point of view as a man.

Ugh. Fuck that and fuck them.

All that should matter is I tell a good story. That’s it. I feel a little bit like Freddy Mercury with Boeheim Rapsody in that if you know the macro plot for the six novels of this project, then it makes sense for all these characters to be female. There is a method to my madness.

And I think I’m probably overthinking things some. Again, as long as I tell a good story I think the unusually high number of scenes where two or more women are talking about something shouldn’t be TOO much of an issue.

I hope.

Dreading The Due Diligence Of Literary Agents In About A Year As Part Of The Querying Process

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do about literary agent due diligence on my sorry ass when I start to query. The thing about querying is people who don’t give a shit about you are going to become aware of your existence. And if you’re a fucking drunk kook crank like me, then, oh boy, their evaluation could be pretty brutal.

But, lulz, what am I going to do about it now?

I suppose there are a few things on the edges I could do to mitigate how bad things might be seen from the point of view of a literary agent. And, yet, fuck it, I refuse to change who I am. Let the chips fall where they may.

But I definitely need to psych myself up. It’s going to be very disheartening about a year from now to see people who are clearly literary agents poking around this blog. I understand that to someone who doesn’t have the time to have a conversation with me to find out my story that…I can come across as an eccentric.

And I will admit that I’m kind of bonkers. Maybe a lot bonkers.

But I will note that there are plenty of famous people who are just as bonkers as I am who are called “colorful” rather than nuts. Anyway. There’s nothing I can do about it now. Wish me luck.

Pondering Mystery Thriller Novels to ‘Comp’ To My Book As Part of The Querying Process

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Because I don’t really even read any modern books in my genre, I think I’m going to turn to AI to find out what current books I should read that I can “comp” to a book that is a homage to Stieg Larsson’s stuff.

My novel is so…different…that I struggle to think that I will be able to find a novel that is clearly something I can “comp.” But I’m going to have to figure out something. That’s what they pay me the big bucks for.

I’m going to have to take this whole process a lot more seriously. Anything to do with querying means I can just daydream and be delusional anymore. I really, really, really don’t want to self publish. That’s just not my scene. I would have to be really fucking desperate — at least at this point — to self publish.

I would rather go down in a blaze of glory a monumental failure than limit myself by self-publishing. That’s just my vision at the moment. I have nothing against people who self publishing, but I just don’t wanna do that.

My heroine, in my mind, looks something like this woman above.
I started reading a novel that was clearly meant to be something along the lines of a homage to Stieg Larsson’s stuff but something about it left me cold. It seemed to hone in on what the author thought made Lisbeth Salander so popular — her vigilante streak.

To me, that’s just a part of her personality. She was far more complex than that. I hope to force myself to actually read that damn book simply so I won’t feel so self-conscious about not reading fiction. But only time will tell.

‘I Canceled You Before It Was Cool’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I am not perfect. I’m a pretty flawed person. I sometimes get drunk and rant on this blog and social media. But I mean well. In fact, the worst thing anyone ever said about me is I’m “a delusional jerk with a good heart.”

Anyway.

The point is — while I really love the premise of this novel, which a third party will inevitably boil down to “sexworker solves a murder mystery,” because I’m a smelly CIS white male who is telling the story….oh boy. If I was a transgendered undocumented Lantix woman then the “woke cancel culture mob” would probably be quite content with the story.

But, no, I’m a member of the patriarchy and, as such, I must be punished for “objectifying” and “exploiting” women by writing such a story, no matter how much I try to be compassionate and empathetic in its telling.

And, yet, I’ve got a great story on my hands — or at least in my mind — and I want to tell it. So, even though there is a good chance I’ll be “canceled” even if I do manage to sell this novel, it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

Pondering The Potential Reception Of This Novel By Literary Agents

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now that I’ve just about locked down the first two chapters of the third draft of this novel, I find myself pondering What Next. I still have a few more months of writing to finish the third draft, but I definitely am beginning to think about the querying process.

My big concern is, of course, that because I’m doing this in a vacuum that the somewhat provocative premise of the novel will make literary agents — who I imagine as being mostly liberal white women — either laugh or get angry. I have no idea if the “sex worker who solves a murder mystery” will be cool with literary agents or not because of that.

But “Barry” was popular, so, lulz, it’s at least *possible* that my similar type story might have broad appeal. And, yet, sexwork is so loaded in the minds of most people while being a hired assassin is a lulz that it’s possible it will just be too loaded for anyone to take seriously.

Yet the point is that I want a heroine is really, really interesting. Someone unexpected who you will want to hang out with for the time it takes to read ~140,000 words. I believe I have come up with just the type of evocative story that people will really find worth their time.

I hope.

The holiday season is now here, so that is an added complication. My fear is that because of the holiday season and other “known unknowns” that I’ll really be pushing it to wrap this novel up no later than April 2024. Then I will have to save up the money to get a professional manuscript consultant to read over the third draft.

THEN I have to start to query just as the “Perfect Storm” of The Fourth Turning and the AI generated Petite Singularity happens in late 2024, early 2025. But, if nothing else, I definitely am happy with this story. There are probably going to be a lot — A LOT — of structural changes to the third act in the transition from second to third draft.

But I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

The Good, The Bad & The Paranoid

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It seems as though SOMEONE has noticed all my talk comparing the novel I’m working on to Stieg Larsson’s The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. This both excites me and alarms me. Here are the reasons why:

The Good
Maybe this means some Hollywood time is honestly interested in the logline of “sexworker solves a murder mystery,” even though that is not really what the story is about.

The Bad
Maybe this means someone the rights to Millennium series is aware of how much of an homage this novel is meant to be to that property and they’re not fucking happy.

The Paranoid
Maybe this means a screenwriter and / or producer plan to swoop in, steal my idea and laugh all the way to the bank at me for being such a loudmouth fool.