Why, Yes, I *AM* Ready For My Close Up, Tik-Tok

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I just don’t trust Tik-Tok very much. So, when my view count suddenly started to go up from ~300 to ~2,000, I started to wonder What The Fuck Is Up. I, for one, haven’t changed anything about my videos and, as such, either nothing is really going on other than some tweak in the We’re-Not-Reading-Your-Mind Tik-Tok algorithm or Something Is Up.

This could all change, of course, but it’s a brutally hot summer day, so I find myself idle musing if maybe Tik-Tok is somehow fucking with me. Maybe Tik-Tok is trying to either bait me into using their business account feature or they want to Tuhn Me Intoa Staah!

Now, remember, at the moment, I’m a total nobody. Total. Nobody. So any additional attention to me for any reason –even you, reading this blog post — is Of Note to me. I just don’t really get much attention in the real world and I’ve reach a point where I’m invisible to anyone under 30.

Anyway, lulz, nothing matters. But it is somewhat amusing to imagine a situation where I’ve caught the eye of someone at Tik-Tok to the point that they want people to know about me and my videos.

But that — just like me being unnerved by the idea that Tik-Tok can read our minds — is just regular old crazy talk.

Jesus Christ, I Need To Read

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have “all the time in the world” as the old Twilight Zone episode says when it comes to reading and, at the moment, I still want to write rather than read. I say this in the context of vowing not to start writing on the first novel again — the third draft — until Sept 1st.

So, what I really need to do is just read, read, read.

But I don’t wanna. I wanna keep daydreaming or writing. So, for the moment, I’m at something of an internal impasse. But I hope to force the issue starting today. I’m going to force, force, FUCKING FORCE myself to start reading something, anything this afternoon and evening.

I’m very grateful for the very unique situation going on in my life at the moment and I know that at any moment it could change and I will be upset with myself for not reading more or, just in general, being as creative as I possibly could be.

Anyway. I think I’m going to allow myself a little bit of a pass the next few hours then once I get some shit out of my system, I’m going to sit down and read a book.

Wish me luck.

Why The Hollywood Strikes May Last A Long Time

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It seems clear to me that at some point the Hollywood suits will face an existential choice — either give up and provide concrete assurances regarding AI to the various creative labor unions, or simply wait until the whole issue is moot by technological advances.

As such, either what some people assume will happen, will happen — the strike wraps up around the middle of September or it lasts much, much longer. If the suits get the sense that they can leapfrog directly into something akin to a “Her” future by simply sitting on their hands and suffering a little bit upfront….oh boy.

It could be — maybe — that Hollywood is about to be “Moneyballed” to a point that your head will spin. We will wake up in about 18 months and some pretty basic assumptions about Hollywood will be seen as rather quaint. Everything will be AI generated in the extreme to the point that there won’t even be this thing we now call “mass media.”

Now, remember, all of this is happening in the context of a massive fucking clusterfuck may be about to happen in late 2024, early 2025 on the political front. It could be that America is going to destroy itself for a few years — gulp — and THEN, THAT will be when the “Her” future we all (hope for?) (dread?) will come about.

Or not. I have no idea. I can’t predict the future.

I could totally see things get wrapped up in a rather snap manner out of the blue and the issue of AI will be punted down the road another three years. And, yet, there is a greater-than-zero chance that ALL creatives in Hollywood are totally and completely fucked.

A Variety of Monologues About Various Things

Enjoy.

Don’t Be A Scab!

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The older I get the more mental energy it takes to refrain from telling people to fuck off on Twitter when they give dumb hot takes. So, I posted a video about how movie “influencers” shouldn’t be scabs. And some dumbass said, “Derp, I only make $19, I’d be an acting scab in a heartbeat.”

Union!

UGH. So stupid.

I didn’t respond because it wasn’t worth it.

But just imagine you were able to leave your $19 an hour job to be a high paid scab actor. First of all, you would have to take acting classes. And if you didn’t you would, yes, maybe make a few $100,000 in “quick money” but you fucking idiot then what? Fucking cocksucker dumbass. Ugh. I’m so angry.

The next thing happens is the strike ends and not only does EVERYONE IN HOLLYWOOD HATE YOU, you never get another acting gig and you go down in history and the fucking dumbass to was a scab.

So, yeah, you fucking idiot, leave your $19 an hour day job to be a scab actor. I look forward to it.

Thinking about this has put me in a very bad mood.

But the whole reason why I even mentioned scabs in the first place wasn’t even acting scabs! It was “influencers” who suck on the teet of the movie studios on Tik-Tok who are in a gray area when it comes to movie promotion. They make some money but not THAT much money.

Anyway. Don’t be a scab.

I’m writing a novel, so lulz, I can keep writing. I do hope, however, that one day my novel will be adapted into a movie! Grin.

The Conflated, Convoluted Politics Of The Latest Mission:Impossible Movie

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m at a loss to describe the political goals of the “Entity” that is the bad guy in the latest Mission:Impossible movie. And I think that’s the point. The point is for the movie to be so convoluted and conflated in its political good and evil that both sides think the other side is the bad guy.

They talk about “patriots” in what is essentially the deep state of the government. So…are they talking about the Entity wanting to purge MAGA people from the government or are they talking about the Entity purging the “deep state” from the government?

It’s all very unclear.

It really could mean either one. Which, like I said, is the point.

They want everything to be so convoluted that neither side has any reason to hate the aims of the movie one way or another. It’s very noticable if you’ve paid any attention to politics in the last, I don’t know, decade.

Anyway. It’s a good movie.

Another Person Was Interested In ROKon Magazine….

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

In real terms, ROKon Magazine is so obscure at this point that it’s very surreal that ANYONE would be interested in it AT ALL. It was never anything more than a club run like a cult that came out with a zine once a month for a few months. (At least my version.)

Are you talking about me again, Jennifer 8. Lee?

The issue is, of course, the story surrounding that particular situation is so fucking surreal and bonkers that I’m using it as some of the inspiration for a six novel mystery-thriller project that is meant to be an old brown shoe for people who liked the original Millennium series by Stieg Larsson.

Anyway, I noticed in my Webstats that someone searched for ROKon Magazine. Now, of course, it’s possible they were looking for the magazine for Rokon dirt bikes. And, if that’s the case, so be it.

But, just the idea that someone, anyone MIGHT be interested in ROKon Magazine after all these years is enough to both fill me with curiosity and to spook me a little bit.

The only thing I can think of is maybe there is a minor amount of chatter being generated by people who are reading the public beta of the novel? Maybe? I have no idea.

I May Have a Plot For The Second Novel In My Planned Six Novel Project

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Watching the latest Mission: Impossible movie really gave me a lot of ideas for the plot of the sequel to the current novel I’m working on. My age is really, really beginning to weigh on me and I know I have a limited amount of time to put up or shut up.

Anyway, the second novel is about an abducted baby. There are three different groups who want the baby and at the center of it all are two people who were once allies –I think. That might change.

There is A LOT I don’t know about the specifics of the novel’s plot, but I definitely have a much better hang on things than I did. But, I’m going to have to figure out a way to get a manuscript consultant to take me seriously enough on this matter that they will even let me pay them money to talk to them in the first place.

I’ve found that manuscript consultants, while very useful, can also be quite snooty — at least in regards to me. They look down at me, think I’m some sort of drunk crank not even worthy of their time…even if I pay them for it! It’s all very frustrating.

But, we’ll see. I haven’t finished the first novel yet. But I am looking forward to seeing if I can pull of the second novel sooner rather than later.

Scott Galloway Is Kind Of A Dick

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I “get” Scott Galloway’s shtick. He is the center-Left’s version of the center-Right’s Joe Rogan and Jordan Peterson. There is an audience for a guy like him who has the same earnest, intense masculinity of a Rogan or Peterson, but, who, unlikely them, plays by the rules of the “woke cancel culture mob.”

But, sometimes, especially in the context of the writers’ strike going on in Hollywood at the moment, he can come across as something of a dick. His argument is not only is AI coming for writers, but shut up and be grateful for what you have (or something along those lines.)

In the last podcast he had with Kara Swisher, he really went in for the kill when it came to Hollywood writers, going on a very lengthy rant about why they shouldn’t go on strike to protect, on an existential basis, the very nature of human involvement in recorded media.

But, in general, I will admit that Galloway is pretty good at predictions and he is tolerable to my center-Left sensibilities. Which, of course, is probably part of the point.

What is so amusing is he comes from Central Casting when it comes to “center-Left masculinity guru” — he totally fits the part. If you were to imagine what someone with his current “center-Left masculinity thought leader professional” would look like….it would be him.

He’s successful, wealthy, handsome (tall) and cracks dick jokes that make white liberal women titter. Anyway, what do I know. He’s a success and people like him and I can’t even get anyone to read the public beta of my novel all the way through.

Mulling Querying: The Curious Case of The ‘Comp’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The thing I’ve learned from Tik-Tok is I, personally, will never get published — that is, at least what the Tik-Tok people who talk about getting published tell me. I don’t know anything about how to actually go through the querying process and everyone in the publishing industry who has seems angry and bitter at the world.

But I still have hope and, since I don’t plan on self-publishing (at least the moment) I’m going to have to learn how to pull it off.

And one issue I’ve learned about when it comes to querying is rather a “duh” kind of situation — you need to know what to compare or “comp” your novel to when you write your query letter. There is a problem, of course, and that problem is I haven’t read the type of novel I’ve been working on in, oh, 15 years. So, I have to buckle down and find out what are some modern novels that are similar to The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo that I can “comp” my novel to them.

My novel is definitely not a direct 1-to-1 with The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, but that was, at least, the novel that inspired me to write a novel in the first place. (ACTUALLY, it was that novel’s sequel, The Girl Who Played With Fire that is my “textbook,” but, lulz.)

Anyway, the point is — I have a lot of reading to do. I need to buckle down and go outside my comfort zone by reading other people’s writing instead of just re-reading my own stuff over and over and over again as I edit. I have begun to think that I probably have about a year left in the writing and post-production process before I begin to query seriously.

And, in a sense, it will be poetic if I start to query in the fall of 2024, just as the USA decides if it’s an autocracy or if it wants to blow itself up.