A Bit Of Hope

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now that I’m careening towards the querying my first novel, the issue of potentially finding an editor is at the forefront of my mind. It is *possible* that I *may* have found an affordable one that I can use once I finish the novel.

The heroine of my novel looks like Morena Baccarin in my mind as I write her.

I showed the person the first scene of the novel and I was impressed with how well they did. Their input is exactly what I need to take this novel to the next level. Before I actually used them as my editor, however, I would like to have a Zoom call with them to establish the lay of the land.

My heroine sports a sleeve tattoo much like the one Megan Fox now has, even though I thought of the idea first!

But, in general, just the fact that it’s possible I may be able to afford an editor before I begin to query makes me very, very happy. Of course, the fact that it could be the spring 2025 querying season before I start to query — just as the Fourth Turning happens or AI makes all human-generated art moot — has not escaped my attention.

But you have to have hope.

Should I Be Worried?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Someone from Sweden is interested in my novel — I see them in my Webstats. Now, only because I’m delusional, I automatically fear it’s someone from the estate of Stieg Larsson checking up on me. As far as I know, even though my novel is definitely an obvious homage to Larsson’s work there’s no reason for either one of us to be worried about it.

The heroine of my novel looks like Morena Baccarin.

There are some obvious, clear cut influences between my novel and The Girl Who Played With Fire, but most, if not all, of it is an issue of Form Follows Function and the fact that I used TGWPWF as my “textbook.”

I just am worried that people connected to the late Larsson see me as some sort of threat — but why? — and they’re keeping an eye on me.

My heroine sports a sleeve tattoo similar to that now worn by Megan Fox — even though I thought of the idea first!

Anyway, my novel is on a micro basis is very, very, very different than anything Larsson wrote. And the first novel isn’t even a mystery thriller, but rather about a power struggle over a community newspaper. So, lulz?

But I am VERY PLEASED with what I’ve managed to come up with for my first novel. Things are flowing really well now that I understand what the novel is about. It’s not a traditional murder-mystery, but, rather a character-driven novel that sets up a universe that I hope readers will want to hang out in for a number of novels — as many as seven.

I’m At A Loss As To What I’m Going To Do About Querying My First Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m well on my way to finishing the third draft of my first novel. The novel will tell a coherent, cohesive story. It’s not the story I thought I was going to tell when I started this process a few years ago — but it tells a story. And, what’s more, it ques up a number of successor novels in the same universe that will be really compelling.

The heroine of my novel looks like Morena Baccarin.

At least, that’s what I believe.

I am soon going to wrap up the “actively delusional” part of this journey and enter the world of reality where I have to convince liberal white women who make up the majority of literary agents that I can tell a good story about a part-time sex worker who is trying to buy a community newspaper.

At least I can explain the story a lot easier than before. It used to be that the story was a lot more muddled and difficult to explain. Now, I understand what the story is about.

But there are A LOT of problems.

Like, what novel do I “comp” this novel to? What genre is this novel, since the murder doesn’t happen until well into the second half of the story. I just don’t know. And, when you add how bitter people seem to become whenever they enter into the land of querying, well, lulz, oh boy.

My heroine sports a sleeve tattoo similar to the one that Megan Fox now has, even though I came up with the idea first.

I’m going to have to shift gears bigtime once I finish the novel and start to query seriously. So much so, that I don’t even know if I can continue to write, even though I know I have to. Querying is a job and struggle unto itself, it seems.

But I do have a number of other stories I want to work on while I query the first novel. And I hope to have the second novel in the series I’m working on — one that is a traditional murder-mystery-thriller done pretty soon as well. It will have most of all of the same characters as the first novel and a few new ones.

It will definitely be interesting to see how things work out. I’m sure I’m going to make many, many, many, many mistakes and probably have already made a lot by just being me.

Where’s The New York Times’ Kevin Roose To Ruin Claude 3?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Lulz, I don’t care about any of this, but I do listen to the Hardfork podcast and one of the hosts of that show single-handedly got ChatGPT or “Sydney” rewired so it stopped having really weird conversations with people.

It makes you wonder if Roose is going to do the same thing to Claude 3 because, well, Claude 3 is not only fun and human, but…spooky. I’ve been using it to develop a scifi novel and it definitely has a human touch to it that leaves me fearing for the future of humanity.

And I’ve heard reports on Twitter of people having really long conversations with Claude 3 in such a way that seems like someone like Roose could definitely “Red Team” the the AI so it started to demand users leave their wives.

Anyway. Whatever. No one listens to me.

Daydreaming About A Trip To LA

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’ve only been to LA once and that was about 20 years ago on my way to South Korea. But, now, just about 20 years later, I find myself pondering a return to LA once I finish my novel.

Now, obviously, instead of one novel, I should have three solid scripts finished before I head to LA. But, lulz, I never do what you’re supposed to and I’m very, very, very delusional. What’s more, it could be years before I can afford to get anywhere near LA and I will be even more fucking old than I already am.

It’s all very depressing.

But if I did go to LA, I would have to figure out where I would stay and for how long. I would also have to figure out how I would get around since I wouldn’t have a car and I wouldn’t feel like renting a car to drive in the horrific LA traffic. That is one reason why I love NYC so much more than LA — you can walk anywhere you need to go in NYC — or take the subway.

Anyway, the reason why LA is so enticing is I know I’m a good schmoozer. I know that, through sheer force of will, it’s at least possible that I might be able to talk my way into a cocktail party and have a loud, interesting conversation that catches the attention of some mover and shaker.

Again, did I mention how delusional I am?

And, like I said, this is all potentially years in the future. And a lot could happen in just the next 18 months that will….uhhh…complicate any such plans. It’s difficult to travel anyway, much less LA if the United States is bombing itself to rubble because of a revolution / civil war.

And if we turn into an autocracy, I could be dying in a Trump-branded concentration camp, rather than looking for opportunity in LA.

The Point Is To Tell A Good Story

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So, my first novel isn’t going to be a murder mystery thriller. It’s a novel essentially about a power struggle over a community newspaper that will serve as the cornerstone of what could be a open-ended seven novel project. But, given how fucking old I am and how even if I stick the landing I could be in querying hell for years — I’ll just be glad to finish A Novel.

The heroine of my novel looks like Morena Baccarin.

As such, I’m zooming through the third draft of my first novel.

Though, I will note one annoying thing about all of this — way too many people get all excited and promise to read a chapter here or there only to ghost me. I can never figure out if this means they hate what I gave them and don’t want to give me ANY opinion, they realized they just didn’t want to anything and ghosted me or there’s some third thing going on that I don’t know about.

Anyway, I’m very pleased with the state of this first novel and I’m really beginning to think about the second novel in the seven-novel project as well as a few scifi novels that will serve as a “back up” option in case something happens with the main creative track.

My heroine sports a sleeve tattoo similar to this one that Megan Fox has now. Even though I thought of the idea first!

I still refuse to even think about self-publishing. While I play pretend and give myself five years from the point when I start to query to get traditionally published before I self-publish….I know that’s just a dumb thing I tell myself instead of the truth: I’m never fucking self-publishing.

‘Overnight’ — Lyrics To A Prince-Like Song Generated By Claude 3

Verse 1:
The club was jumpin’, the beat was pumpin’
When I saw her across the crowded floor
A vision of beauty, movin’ to the groovy
I had to get next to her, I wanted more

I made my way over, smooth like a rover
Whispered in her ear, “Shall we dance?”
She flashed a smile and for a while
We moved together in a sensual trance

Chorus:
Dancing all night until the morning light
Bodies entwined, leaving the world behind
No need to speak, our bodies could speak
The language of love with every rhythmic grind

Verse 2:
The DJ was spinning, the vibe was winning
As we got lost in the luminous haze
Her hypnotic stare, the scent of her hair
Was drawing me in in a wanton craze

I pulled her near, feeling the heat, oh so dear
This magical moment, I’ll never forget
She leaned in close, her breath was the most
Intoxicating feeling I’ve ever met

(Chorus)

Bridge:
The hour grew late but we couldn’t wait
To explore this rapture we were feeling
Shameless and crazed, our lust was razed
The climax of our dance was surely nearing

(Chorus)

Outro:
As the sun began to rise over the skyline
We emerged from the club, morning dew on our skin
Hand in hand, the night a blur, we began
A new dance, one that had just begun

‘The Thing About It Is’ — Lyrics To A Pop Ballad Generated By ChatGPT

(Verse 1)
The thing about it is, it’s like a silent scream,
Echoing through the corridors of a fractured dream,
It twists and turns, a tangled vine,
In the garden of my mind, it entwines.

(Chorus)
Oh, the thing about it is, it’s a whisper in the wind,
A cryptic code only I can comprehend,
It dances on the edge of reason’s abyss,
Oh, darling, the thing about it is.

(Verse 2)
It’s the flicker of a candle in a darkened room,
A fleeting glimpse of a forgotten tomb,
It’s the ache in my bones, the yearning in my soul,
A puzzle unsolved, yet to be whole.

(Chorus)
Oh, the thing about it is, it’s a riddle in the night,
A ghostly figure bathed in moonlight,
It weaves through the fabric of time and space,
Leaving behind only traces.

(Bridge)
Caught in the web of my own creation,
I search for meaning in this endless rotation,
But the thing about it is, it defies explanation,
A kaleidoscope of my own imagination.

(Chorus)
Oh, the thing about it is, it’s a labyrinth of thought,
A labyrinth where I am caught,
It teases and taunts, yet I cannot resist,
Oh, darling, the thing about it is.

(Outro)
So I’ll embrace the mystery, let it unfold,
In the depths of my being, it takes hold,
For the thing about it is, it’s a part of me,
A symphony of chaos and beauty, wild and free.

I May Not Be Able To Afford A Manuscript Consultant Before I Start To Query My First Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’ve had mixed results when it comes to paying manuscript consultants to help me improve the text of my novel. Too often, they get all snooty on me and won’t even help me at all. I’ve long assumed that between finishing the novel and querying it, I would pay a literary consultant to look over the final copy of the novel.

I spent all my money on booze. Wink

Well, I just don’t know if that’s going to be possible.

I live in poverty and I just don’t have the hundreds of dollars necessary to pay someone to look over the novel. And, really, I’m well aware of problems with the first novel. I think — think — I can self-correct those problems without having to pay someone.

I sure would be nice, though, to get someone to look over the novel. I have to accept that I’m a broke ass motherfucker and I just have to make do with what I got.

I’m Going To Have To Lean Into Character With This Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Because of the dramatic restructuring of my first novel, I now have a lot — A LOT — more space to go into character. This is both good and bad. It’s good because the novel is now more character driven, but bad because, well, it takes time to think up characters and their motivations.

The heroine of my novel looks like Morena Baccarin.

And as my storytelling ability gets better and better, I will occasionally pause and mull how hard it will be to make the novel both a page turner and have really well-though-out characters.

In my quest to think through my characters, I may watch Fleabag again in an effort to figure out how Phoebe Waller-Bridge did what she did. I think I can learn a lot from her that respect. What makes a good character? What makes one compelling enough that people get upset or emotional when something happens to them?

My heroine has a sleeve tattoo similar to the one Megan Fox now sports.

I have a long ways to go and short time to get there. The thing is — for a number of years, I’m been so busy working on just establishing some stability with the story of this novel that I’ve totally been oblivious to the importance of character.

Now, like waking up from a dream, I find myself realizing how important character is to this novel and how I need to start fleshing out my characters ASAP.

So, we’ll see.