Why I Play The Lottery (And You Shouldn’t)

by Shelt Garner

I lead a very hum-drum life. Not much ever happens of note. I generally think playing the lottery — any lottery — is extremely obscene due to its regressive-tax nature.

And, yet, I find myself playing the lottery these days on occasion for no other reason than it gives my otherwise dull life a modicum of excitement caused by the feeling of you-just-never-know that comes from buying a lottery ticket.

I have, however, come to think the Mega Millions and Power Ball lotteries (the two I play on occasion) are fixed, fixed, fixed. They futz with the calculations of the drawings so the prizes get huge and, as such, draw attention to the game. I also think they focus on certain participating states like South Carolina for some reason. (It always seems to be someone from South Carolina who wins these lotteries.)

With that in mind, I often go to really strange places to buy lottery tickets simply because I hope maybe that will improve my luck (given that where I usually buy my tickets have not be successful to date.) I also am very aware of anything weird happening in my life in general. In the past, that was the only reason why I would play the lottery at all — if something bizarre happened around the time I bought one.

Whenever I play the lottery, the ticket pays for itself by all the daydreaming I do about what I would do if I won. These dreams can grow quite grandiose. I would move to NYC and become a bon viant. I would change people’s lives in a big, historical fashion.

Then I lose, yet again.

So, I think it’s safe to say that I’m wasting my money every time I play. Though, I will note that something I once was told about the lottery did happen recently — if you dream of a dead relative, play the lottery. I dreamed of my late mother over the weekend. I have no idea what that means. Though, I think the exact adage is if you dream of a dead relative “play your lottery numbers.”

Who knows.

Anyway. Don’t play the lottery. You won’t win.

Author: Shelton Bumgarner

I am the Editor & Publisher of The Trumplandia Report

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