by Shelt Garner
Not to sound too morbid, but now that Gorbachev is dead, we can now probably begin the countdown to what other elderly statesperson might croak. The most obvious candidates are, of course, Kissinger and the Queen. Both of them are, like Gorbachev, in their 90s.
Once you hit your 90s, you’re just shuffling deckchairs on your own mortality. Something gotta give, sooner rather than later. Though, I must note, I have a close relative who is spry and in his 100s, so anything is possible.
There is the far more ominous prospect that someone else who is elderly but not in their 90s might suddenly and unexpectedly shuffle off this mortal coil. I have already stated that if anything happened to dingus Trump that we might face a situation similar to what happened after Martin Luther King died, only with white people.
No way would the MAGA faithful believe that fat tub of lard Trump simply died because he was, well, an old fat tub of lard. They would spin all kinds of insane conspiracy theories to the point that severe political violence would almost be a foregone conclusion.
But, who knows. I’m probably wrong. I’m often wrong. Almost always. Maybe the Rule of Three won’t apply this time.