by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
I got in some hot water with a bartender recently when I went on one of my regular rants about how much I think playing the lottery is worse than porn. Little did I know that she had a direct, personal, connection to the lottery business.
I felt so bad.
Anyway, as the Mega Millions hovers around $1 billion — again — I decided to play, again, even though I feel extremely foolish doing so. It’s not like anyone from my state ever wins the Mega Millions — or Powerball. It’s usually someone from South Carolina or the Midwest. Virginia just doesn’t have much luck in that department.
But I do have a general moral objection to the lottery because of what a horrible fucking regressive tax it is. Just yesterday I saw some poor woman putting $20, or $40 bucks in the lottery machine in hopes of winning. It’s just horrible. But, here I am, participating in something I don’t believe in.
If that doesn’t say something about my psychology, I don’t know what does.
I think some of the reason why I play the lottery is I have such a hyperactive imagination that it kind of pays for itself in the sense that I do a lot of daydreaming about what I would do if I won about $1 billion. Oh, the “disruptive” things I would do. I would change history if I had $1 billion to play with.
It’s better to burn out than fade away as they say, so, as such, i would think up all kinds of different ways to make some of my harebrained ideas become a reality. I might build out a Twitter clone based on Usenet concepts. I might buy a newspaper. I might start a podcasting network in the vein of Gawker Media.
Did I mention I hate being broke?
