by Shelt Garner
Now that we’ve reached just about a year before the most significant election in American history since 1860, I find myself wondering what the fuck I’m going to do if Trump is re-elected. I already know what I’m going to do if there’s any sort of civil war or revolution — head north.
But what do I do if we just slide into a MAGA-themed autocracy?
A lot will depend on my surroundings. I live in an extremely MAGA-conservative part of Virginia. It could be that I won’t have any choice but to head for, say, Richmond, where I have some relatives. It could be that the choice will be made for me — things will just grow so hot for me because too many people know my Blue politics.
There is the longer-term issue of what happens if I do move to Richmond and ICE gets weaponized. I’ve been a loudmouth crank in a liberal democracy my entire life and I don’t quite know what I’m going to do when I can’t get drunk and shoot off at the mouth anymore.
It could very well be that my very conservative relatives — whom I love dearly — are going to be put between a rock and a hard place. They’re going to demand I shut up and I’m just not going to do it. I would rather, in fact, they be the ones to turn me in than have to wait for me to get drunk and say Tyrant Trump can suck my dick.
I do think that the existing ICE infrastructure will inevitably be weaponized in Trump’s second term. And I think we’re going to see a MAGA-dominated Constitutional Convention. The United States will leave NATO. We will pull our troops out of South Korea. And it’s possible there could be a total re-alignment of the global order, with the United States aligning with other autocratic nations like Russia, Turkey and Hungary.
But as for my personal fate, I’m at a loss. I just don’t have the funds to flee the country like a least 1 million smug Twitter liberals will do. No matter what, I’d rather die on my feet a free man than live a long life on my knees as a slave.