V-Log: A FOTUS Affair Rant Or Two

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

What can I say. I got drunk and decided to go on a rant or two. These two pretty much explain my state of mine about this moment. Take them for what they are. The basics of the case are after these two rants.

I have all but decided that I’ve made a fool out of myself in a very conspicuous manner and that Elliot Broidy is Shera Bechard’s babydaddy and I need to shut up. But my subconscious mind has decided its Donald Trump for some reason, so I keep talking about it.

Let’s get down to the cold hard facts and logic of what’s going on.

What We Know
We know Bechard had an affair with someone between late 2015 and late 2017.
We know that Trump’s schedule and Bechard’s Instagram placed him in proximity (NYC) to Bechard in the mid-to-late September 2017 timeframe.

We know a child was conceived around mid-to-late September of 2017 and later aborted.
We know Trump has, at least once, “raw dogged” with a woman he was having and affair with (Stormy Daniels.)
We have photographic evidence on Instagram that Bechard was at least outward ok with being pregnant at some point.
We know Bechard at one point had a dog named Ellie.

We know Bechard at some point was referred to Keith Davidson.
— Davidson was the lawyer who represented two other women who signed NDAs with Trump.
We know Broidy used Michael Cohen, Trump’s personal lawyer and fixer to represent him.

We know Bechard got $1.6 million (hardly Stormy Daniels’ ‘nuisance” money.)
We know Broidy was actively seeking access to the Trump Adminstration about this time in the guise of various Arab states.

We know that the day after the first installment of the $1.6 million to Bechard, Broidy gained access to Trump directly.
We know Bechard is interested in the #MeToo movement.

What We Don’t Know.
Anything to do with Trump directly being connected to Bechard other than Cohen and Davidson.
Anything to do with Broidy being directly connected to Bechard other than the NDA, Davidson and Cohen.
Anything in cold hard fact terms about Bechard’s exact state of mind at the time of the abortion.
— Was there a direct quid pro quo?
Anything about how many Playboy Bunnies (Playboy itself?) knew anything about an affair with either Broidy or Trump.

In fact, we have no evidence that Broidy even knows Bechard other than the things directly connected to the NDA.

Outstanding questions:
How come $1.6 million from Broidy of all people? He’s a rando. Why would he give a shit. Or why would he give $1.6 million worth of shit.
How could Donald J. Trump bang Bechard while also running for president and being in the Oval Office.
How could all of this be kept secret if Trump was the babydaddy? Is that proof that it didn’t happen?
How did the WSJ learn of the affair? Why did Bechard’s name only come out later in the day once the story broke?

Existential Questions
Why no comment from Peter K. Stris, Bechard’s lawyer?
Why no comment from Cooper Hefner?
Will it even matter if we prove it was Trump? Is there nothing that will ever hurt him politically, especially on the character side. He would not have done anything illegal and he can just keep babbling about the “Criminal Deep State” and “Spygate” while liberals burst into flames over the hypocrisy of a otherwise “pro-life” president.

V-Log: A Deepdive Into FOTUS Affair Events In Late 2017

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I have all but decided that I’ve made a fool out of myself in a very conspicuous manner and that Elliot Broidy is Shera Bechard’s babydaddy and I need to shut up. But my subconscious mind has decided its Donald Trump for some reason, so I keep talking about it.

Let’s get down to the cold hard facts and logic of what’s going on.

What We Know
We know Bechard had an affair with someone between late 2015 and late 2017.
We know that Trump’s schedule and Bechard’s Instagram placed him in proximity (NYC) to Bechard in the mid-to-late September 2017 timeframe.

We know a child was conceived around mid-to-late September of 2017 and later aborted.
We know Trump has, at least once, “raw dogged” with a woman he was having and affair with (Stormy Daniels.)
We have photographic evidence on Instagram that Bechard was at least outward ok with being pregnant at some point.
We know Bechard at one point had a dog named Ellie.

We know Bechard at some point was referred to Keith Davidson.
— Davidson was the lawyer who represented two other women who signed NDAs with Trump.
We know Broidy used Michael Cohen, Trump’s personal lawyer and fixer to represent him.

We know Bechard got $1.6 million (hardly Stormy Daniels’ ‘nuisance” money.)
We know Broidy was actively seeking access to the Trump Adminstration about this time in the guise of various Arab states.

We know that the day after the first installment of the $1.6 million to Bechard, Broidy gained access to Trump directly.
We know Bechard is interested in the #MeToo movement.

What We Don’t Know.
Anything to do with Trump directly being connected to Bechard other than Cohen and Davidson.
Anything to do with Broidy being directly connected to Bechard other than the NDA, Davidson and Cohen.
Anything in cold hard fact terms about Bechard’s exact state of mind at the time of the abortion.
— Was there a direct quid pro quo?
Anything about how many Playboy Bunnies (Playboy itself?) knew anything about an affair with either Broidy or Trump.

In fact, we have no evidence that Broidy even knows Bechard other than the things directly connected to the NDA.

Outstanding questions:
How come $1.6 million from Broidy of all people? He’s a rando. Why would he give a shit. Or why would he give $1.6 million worth of shit.
How could Donald J. Trump bang Bechard while also running for president and being in the Oval Office.
How could all of this be kept secret if Trump was the babydaddy? Is that proof that it didn’t happen?
How did the WSJ learn of the affair? Why did Bechard’s name only come out later in the day once the story broke?

Existential Questions
Why no comment from Peter K. Stris, Bechard’s lawyer?
Why no comment from Cooper Hefner?
Will it even matter if we prove it was Trump? Is there nothing that will ever hurt him politically, especially on the character side. He would not have done anything illegal and he can just keep babbling about the “Criminal Deep State” and “Spygate” while liberals burst into flames over the hypocrisy of a otherwise “pro-life” president.

My FOTUS Affair Cognitive Dissidence Is Severe

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Everything we know points towards Donald J. Trump being Shera Bechard’s babydaddy. Everything we don’t know points to Elliot Broidy. It’s really a struggle at this point to hold on to either theory long enough to say for sure if it’s true or not.

I honestly just want to know one way or another who the babyddy dadday was. That’s it. If it was Broidy, then this is a non-issue and we can go back to being angry at what a bad president Trump is. If it’s Trump, OH MY GOD.

Let’s get down to the cold hard facts and logic of what’s going on.

What We Know
We know Bechard had an affair with someone between late 2015 and late 2017.
We know that Trump’s schedule and Bechard’s Instagram placed him in proximity (NYC) to Bechard in the mid-to-late September 2017 timeframe.

We know a child was conceived around mid-to-late September of 2017 and later aborted.
We know Trump has, at least once, “raw dogged” with a woman he was having and affair with (Stormy Daniels.)
We have photographic evidence on Instagram that Bechard was at least outward ok with being pregnant at some point.
We know Bechard at one point had a dog named Ellie.

We know Bechard at some point was referred to Keith Davidson.
— Davidson was the lawyer who represented two other women who signed NDAs with Trump.
We know Broidy used Michael Cohen, Trump’s personal lawyer and fixer to represent him.

We know Bechard got $1.6 million (hardly Stormy Daniels’ ‘nuisance” money.)
We know Broidy was actively seeking access to the Trump Adminstration about this time in the guise of various Arab states.

We know that the day after the first installment of the $1.6 million to Bechard, Broidy gained access to Trump directly.
We know Bechard is interested in the #MeToo movement.

What We Don’t Know.
Anything to do with Trump directly being connected to Bechard other than Cohen and Davidson.
Anything to do with Broidy being directly connected to Bechard other than the NDA, Davidson and Cohen.
Anything in cold hard fact terms about Bechard’s exact state of mind at the time of the abortion.
— Was there a direct quid pro quo?
Anything about how many Playboy Bunnies (Playboy itself?) knew anything about an affair with either Broidy or Trump.

In fact, we have no evidence that Broidy even knows Bechard other than the things directly connected to the NDA.

Outstanding questions:
How come $1.6 million from Broidy of all people? He’s a rando. Why would he give a shit. Or why would he give $1.6 million worth of shit.
How could Donald J. Trump bang Bechard while also running for president and being in the Oval Office.
How could all of this be kept secret if Trump was the babydaddy? Is that proof that it didn’t happen?
How did the WSJ learn of the affair? Why did Bechard’s name only come out later in the day once the story broke?

Existential Questions
Why no comment from Peter K. Stris, Bechard’s lawyer?
Why no comment from Cooper Hefner?
Will it even matter if we prove it was Trump? Is there nothing that will ever hurt him politically, especially on the character side. He would not have done anything illegal and he can just keep babbling about the “Criminal Deep State” and “Spygate” while liberals burst into flames over the hypocrisy of a otherwise “pro-life” president.

Analysis: The FOTUS Affair Theory In Context Of The Access Hollywood Tape

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Well, a friend of mine has come up with the name “The FOTUS Affair” for this liberal fever dream imbroglio, so that’s what I’m going to start calling it. It’d be hysterical if any of this were true, too bad, as of this moment, it’s not looking like it is.

The point is, let’s look at The FOTUS Affair in the context of The Access Hollywood Tape. If you want to look back at how we got into this situation, it’s that Republicans were so craven by the time the tape came out, that once the shock wore off, they kicked a few rocks and continued their support of Trump. Throw in some Russian collusion and the second Comey Letter and ta-da Trump’s president.

Really, for the FOTUS Affair to hurt Trump, it would have to be a shock to the political system. The proof of the FOTUS Affair would have to come out like a thundercrack out of the blue. If it came out in bits and pieces, then the FOX News Bullshit Machine would easily be able to process it as a poison and move right along.

And don’t forget that there are people who think the Access Hollywood Tape was all a big conspiracy done by the liberal crooked media in an attempt to bring down Trump. So, you would have to have absolute air-tight information that came out of the blue to do Trump any political harm. Sort of hit the vampire with a stake just right or be prepared to be eaten kind of thing.

But would Trump be impeached by the Vichy Republicans in Congress? For what? Being a bad person? Being a hypocrite? If that was a high crime in their eyes — at least when it came to a Republican president, Trump would already be long gone.

So, in the context of the Access Hollywood Tape, there would be, maybe at most a week where, like, fucking normal people would vacillate between laughing at all of this, raging at it, or feeling bad for Shera Bechard. Then by the time the Sunday talkshows rolled around the Conservative talking points would have been thought out and it would all be processed just like the Access Hollywood Tape. Trump might — if he thought he was about to be shamed out of office — make an address saying it was fake news or some other bullshit. But if the proof — I’m looking at you SDNY or maybe The New York Times re: Playboy’s Bunny community — was absolutely airtight with zero wiggle room, the nation might finally have reached a tipping point.

Maybe.

Yet let me stress that this is for the moment a liberal fever dream in the extreme. If there was a liberal version of InfoWars, I would be selling dietary supplements on it right now and screaming, taking off my shirt while I ranted about Instagram proof of the affair.

Let’s get down to the cold hard facts and logic of what’s going on.

What We Know
We know Bechard had an affair with someone between late 2015 and late 2017.
We know that Trump’s schedule and Bechard’s Instagram placed him in proximity (NYC) to Bechard in the mid-to-late September 2017 timeframe.

We know a child was conceived around mid-to-late September of 2017 and later aborted.
We know Trump has, at least once, “raw dogged” with a woman he was having and affair with (Stormy Daniels.)
We have photographic evidence on Instagram that Bechard was at least outward ok with being pregnant at some point.
We know Bechard at one point had a dog named Ellie.

We know Bechard at some point was referred to Keith Davidson.
— Davidson was the lawyer who represented two other women who signed NDAs with Trump.
We know Broidy used Michael Cohen, Trump’s personal lawyer and fixer to represent him.
We know Bechard got $1.6 million (hardly Stormy Daniels’ ‘nuisance” money.)
We know Broidy was actively seeking access to the Trump Adminstration about this time in the guise of various Arab states.
We know that the day after the first installment of the $1.6 million to Bechard, Broidy gained access to Trump directly.
We know Bechard is interested in the #MeToo movement.

What We Don’t Know.
Anything to do with Trump directly being connected to Bechard other than Cohen and Davidson.
Anything to do with Broidy being directly connected to Bechard other than the NDA, Davidson and Cohen.
Anything in cold hard fact terms about Bechard’s exact state of mind at the time of the abortion.
— Was there a direct quid pro quo?
Anything about how many Playboy Bunnies (Playboy itself?) knew anything about an affair with either Broidy or Trump.

In fact, we have no evidence that Broidy even knows Bechard other than the things directly connected to the NDA.

Outstanding questions:
How come $1.6 million from Broidy of all people? He’s a rando. Why would he give a shit. Or why would he give $1.6 million worth of shit.
How could Donald J. Trump bang Bechard while also running for president and being in the Oval Office.
How could all of this be kept secret if Trump was the babydaddy? Is that proof that it didn’t happen?
How did the WSJ learn of the affair? Why did Bechard’s name only come out later in the day once the story broke?

Existential Questions
Why no comment from Peter K. Stris, Bechard’s lawyer?
Why no comment from Cooper Hefner?
Will it even matter if we prove it was Trump? Is there nothing that will ever hurt him politically, especially on the character side. He would not have done anything illegal and he can just keep babbling about the “Criminal Deep State” and “Spygate” while liberals burst into flames over the hypocrisy of a otherwise “pro-life” president.

Reactions To Liberal Fever Dream ‘POTUS Fetus Affair’ If It Were True

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Now, I’m going to be honest. I’m only writing about this at all at this point because I love to write and I’m kind of biding my time while I wait for Trump to pop out of a cake and declare that this is completely all simply a liberal fever dream and I’ve again made a fool out of myself in a very conspicuous manner.

To recap: The POTUS Fetus Theory is between late 2015 and late 2017 Playboy Bunny Shera Bechard had an affair with Donald J. Trump and in mid-to-late September Trump raw dogged her in NYC and got her pregnant. “Somehow” Trump paramour go-to-lawyer Keith Davidson pops up and he and Trump fixer Michael Cohen make this particular problem go away for $1.6 million.

Ok, this could be a liberal fever dream. It could be total bullshit. Complete and total bullshit.

But, dude, I’m bored and I like to write and I’ve managed to come up with yet another angle, so here you go. This time around, it’s how different aspects of society would react to The POTUS Fetus Affair, as I’m calling it.

Liberals
From the moment The POTUS Fetus affair was proven to be real, it would set off a political bombshell of historic proportions. Liberals, already apoplectic at how Trump is rushing us towards a illiberal democracy would explode in a rage at the sheer rank hypocrisy. If you could prove Trump through Cohen had forced a woman to have an abortion for $1.6 million I would like to think it would last more than one news cycle. Maybe? It’d leave a mark, for sure, if nothing else. Or put another way — it would be a go-to liberal talking put at every corner. It would be the thing liberals would rage about on Twitter. The late night talk shows would obsess about the whole thing for weeks, pounding away at the hypocrisy. Colbert alone would probably bring in Jon Stewart for a week to rage at the sheer insanity of it all.

Conservatives
Really, when it comes to conservatives what we’re really talking about is how long and it takes them to process it. If they could come to love Trump after the Access Hollywood Tape issue, they have it all down pat. There would probably be a day or so of them simply being in shock. Depending on how it was proven and if there was a drip-drip-drip or a big roll out of news, they would either process it quickly or they would be in a real pickle. What a liberal like me wants — that they would finally turn their backs on Trump — would be hotly debated for, what, a few minutes? Then that’s it. They would batten down the hatches and pretty much we’d be exactly where we are now, only with polarization and negative polarization being even worse.

Really, Trump’s fate would rest with Evangelicals. If they started talking about how Pence was a “man of God” at this point, then, whoa buddy, something would have changed. But, I’m afraid we’re in the darkest timeline. Trump is a king, and emperor and really at this point the point is who will be his successor and when.

The POTUS Fetus Affair Spotify Soundtrack

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

As part of my processing the fact that it’s highly likely that it’s not Donald Trump who’s Shera Bechard’s babydaddy, I present you this Spotify Playlist.

Idle Rambling About What To Call This Imbroglio

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Just for fun, let’s think up names for this scandal-that-might-not-be-a-scandal. It only really matters if Trump’s the babydaddy.

The POTUS Babydaddy Scandal
La Affair Bechard
POTUS Fetus affair
Bi-costal affair
Trumpgate
Bechardgate
Bedhoppin
Proxy Fall Guy Affair
Wait, what?

Meh. Nothing really is all that catchy other than POTUS Fetus Affair

V-Log: I Dunno, Bruh

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

In this one I ramble on about the state of the currently nameless imbroglio involving Shera Bechard, Elliot Broidy and maybe Donald Trump.

Waiting For Peter K. Stris Comment & Playboy’s Community As Source Material

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

The point of me continuing to talk about this is I just want to know one way or another what happened. I want closure. If Elliot Broidy is Bechard’s babydaddy, then I can go back to working on my novel. I just hate this not knowing. I hate the cognitive dissidence of it obviously being Trump on the face of it, and yet there being, like, zero datapoints for it being either Trump or Broidy.

It’s really frustrating.

I would be, at this point, content with a blanket denial from Bechard’s lawyer Peter K. Stris. Just tell me she didn’t bang Trump, doesn’t even know him and I’ll be content. Then we’d have the official statement.

Meanwhile, if I had the resources, I will fly to LA and try to ingratiate myself into the Playboy Bunny community. If I worked for The New York Times I will, like, call Cooper Hefner up directly say, “Bruh, what do you know?” I think if there’s any there there — which there may not be — we could guilt Playboy into fessing up. They have a huge vested interest in being the good guy in this imbroglio. Think of the sudden relevance and positive buzz they would get if they helped bring down Trump — or at least gave him a nasty political bruise? I would be shocked if their corporate self-interests would trump them helping The Resistance. If they did help in any cover up that would be seriously uncool, Playboy.

I guess what I’m saying is if you want to know the truth of this imbroglio, figure out a way to crack the Playboy Bunny community nut. Think of who we’re dealing with. Gorgeous, catty, gossipy young women who share everything and see themselves in a sorority. I would be completely flabbergasted if Bechard had not confided in one of them about who she was seeing, be it Broidy or Trump.

Anyway. I guess I hope we could shame Playboy into confessing whatever they know.

But simply don’t know. It could go either way at this point. It really could.

Trying To Process This Imbroglio Honestly

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I don’t know what to tell you folks.

Logic says Donald Trump is Shera Bechard’s babydaddy, pure and simple. What facts we do have — other than the dog she had named Ellie — point to Donald J. Trump.

And yet.

We simply don’t know _anything_. Nothing. It’s like we’re rushing through a dark field at enormous speed and occasionally we rush past something without any context. It’s comical how one clear datapoint makes it obvious it was Broidy all along. That’s all we need. We need a picture of Broidy with Bechard. Something, anything to tie them together other than the NDA.

I’m honestly stumped. As of right this second, though, it definitely looks like this is all a big misunderstanding and I should just shut up. Until we get some new evidence one way or another, I guess I will continue to vacillate back and forth on who the babydaddy is.

Maybe it’s possible that Bechard really did just “asked around” and got referred to Davidson. Maybe that’s what really happened. And since Cohen and Davidson already had a relationship, it was a natural fit. Doesn’t make any sense at all logically, but I guess if you accept that Broidy was the babydaddy is has some sort of logic to it.

The issue is how thinly sourced the Wall Street Journal story was. They just said, “It happened, trust us.” What makes this different is, as best I can tell, no accomplishing iconic picture of Broidy with Bechard. We got nothing folks. Nothing other than Bechard and Broidy signed the NDA. That’s all we got. Nothing else.

I’m completely unable to process this cognitive dissonance. It’s driving me crazy that logic says one thing and yet what evidence I do have seems to lean towards it being Broidy. Bonkers folks.

I definitely need a stiff drink.