Wait, I Feel Bad For Maggie Haberman?

by Shelt Garner

I have given up trying to do anything about access journalist and “Trump Whisperer” Maggie Haberman. She’s got a very high profile coterie of Blue Checks willing to circle the wagons around her whenever she does something like wait a year to break a huge Trump story.

I heard this on the latest Pod Save America where they had a guest host on the pod with the other guys and he was throwing pretty basic truth bombs about Haberman…and there was awkward silence whenever it happened. Twitter liberals can not, will not, address the problems of access that blemish an otherwise stellar journalist career.

Then ding-dong Trump posted this and now I feel bad for Haberman.

Trump is totally losing his mind, it seems. And he’s getting worse. And, yet, we’ve been saying shit like that for ages now and…nothing. So, I don’t know. There just nothing we can do about Trump.

He has the means, motive and opportunity to cheat his way to victory in 2024…and that’s when Blue States either bend a knee to autocratic MAGA fascism…or they don’t and we have a “National Divorce.”

See you on the ramparts? (I hope not. I hate violence.)

Predicting The 2030s

by Shelt Garner

It seems pretty clear that we have a sense of what the next few years will be like. Starting around 2024 — 2025, the United States, and the globe, will go through some sort of massive political transformation. There’s either a civil war in the United States which will cause WW3, or there’s a MAGA autocracy….which will cause WW3.

But what happens after that? What happens to the globe once the dust settles.

I think the 2030s will be a lot like the 1950s. A lot of technological innovation that was either held back because of WW2 or started in WW2 came to the fore during that decade. And I think the same thing will happen in the 2030s. A lot of the things that Elon Musk is working on now will take off in a big way in the 2030s.

The key thing I think we have to keep an eye on is AI and automation. There are about 3 million high paying blue collar jobs in transportation that could go “poof!” if Musk’s dream of AI-powered self-driving cars become a reality. Meanwhile, on the other end other end of the spectrum, there is the possibility that much of lower-end fast food preperation will be done by androids.

All that could cause a massive shift in the economics and politics of either war torn America or a MAGA autocracy. The rise of neo-Luddites could be a real possibility in the 2030s.

No one listens to me and I’m always wrong, so lulz.

It’s Comical How Much The Internet Is Everywhere & Nowhere All At Once

by Shelt Garner

I’m a nobody. I live in the middle of nowhere. And, really, at the moment, the most interesting thing about me is I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things. I have a crush on a few celebrities — don’t we all — but, in general, while I may be a “delusional jerk with a good heart,” in general, I’m EXTREMELY HARMELESS.

But sometimes I grow worried that even if I got out of my way to hide that I’m writing about someone like, say, Emily Ratajkowski, The Powers That Be track it down and judge me, think I’m sort of crazed fan or something.

Please. Come on. I just find her the best looking woman in the world at the moment. That’s it. That’s the extent of my interest in her. I only even bring any of this up because of a very, very dumb misunderstanding between myself and Alexa Chung’s “people” when I was writing a lot about HER in the past.

Hopefully I’m jumping to conclusions. Please. I hope I’m right that I’m just assuming something about this particular potentially non-situation. It all goes against my self-perception. That’s why it bothers me.

*I* know I’m just a harmless nobody in the middle of nowhere. Why is it so hard for other people to give me the benefit of the doubt?

Daydreaming About NYC & LA

by Shelt Garner

Let’s do yet ANOTHER deep dive in to what might happen to me if I found myself able to live in New York City or Los Angles for a few weeks (months) with a job of some sort and ready access to transportation.

New York City
The thing about New York City is, from my experience, the city is so brutal on an social basis that the argument can me made that I’m full of shit whenever I talk about what a success I might be there. There’s a reason why the song says, if you can make it here you can make it “anywhere.” The metrics for success in NYC are very cold and clinical. Do you have a lot of money? Are you tall and traditionally good looking? Do you have a huge cock? (For women….were you a model in your youth?)

If you don’t have any of those, then, well, you’re not really very successful in New York City.

So, I probably am being pretty delusional — maybe a lot delusional — to think I could curry any favor, find any success just by living in New York City any duration of time. It’s really fun to think about, given what happened to me in Seoul….but my sell-by date is probably a sold 10 years in the past. I’m old and just not as cute as I used to be. I might prompt some interesting discussions once I leave the bar but….that would be it. I would be just another really interesting person in a sea of really interesting people floating around New York City and that would be that.

Los Angles
I would probably have a minor better chance of success because, well, Los Angles is a storytelling town. And it’s within the realm of possibility that I would cruise into a bar have a really great conversation with some random person and the next thing I know I’m explaining in vivid detail my vision for a movie the movie “11” staring Emily Ratajkowski who at that moment will be looking at me with wide eyes, hoping that I might get a three picture deal from my new best friend elsewhere at the cocktail party.

Or something like that.

The stuff of Hollywood dreams — La La Land and all that.

But even that movie is pretty much just a bunch of bullshit. I can schmooze with the best of them. And because of all the writing I’ve been doing with these six novels…I’m pretty primed to write some screenplays.

And…yet…there continues to be the issue of my age. I’m just not as cute as I used to be. I’m old, old, old. And, well that’s it. If I find any success it is probably going to be because of one of two things — I sell my first novel and it’s some sort of success, or I fall into some money and I buy the photographic equipment I need to start that career.

Anyway. I’m not getting any younger. It’s put up or shut up time.

Of Being Extroverted….& Old

by Shelt Garner

I’ve reached the age where I can have a very long conversation with a couple of strangers….and just leave. There is something very liberating about having a great conversation and it being value free.

As I’ve gotten older, this has started to happen to me more often.

And, I think, if I was in, say, New York City, it would happen so often that I would be something of a legend in bars across the city as someone who had really long, really interesting conversations then just…vanished.

There is something to be said for not having to get involved in someone else’s life. It might be different if I was, like, successful and stuff, but as it stands, I have such strong opinions on a wide range of controversial subjects that it’s probably for the best that I have brief, intense conversations with random strangers at bars and then that’s it.

I’ve been to NYC on occasion and I’ve done this and it was a lot of fun. Though I do think if I was in LA and I did this that I would inevitably run into some producer and leave the bar with a three picture screenwriting deal or something. I definitely “give good mind” when it comes to such things.

But, during my extended loser phase, I think just I am just going to swoop into bars, “give good mind” and then vanish into the night. I just don’t want to have to worry about explaining my loser life and how I got myself into this particular situation.

One day, though…..

Rule Of Three Prediction: Seth Meyers May Leave ‘Late Night’ To Prepare For His Replacement Of Lorne Michaels

by Shelt Garner

Even though I have a Liberal Establishment Friend who just tells me, “It’s ok to be superstitious,” whenever I mention this — I don’t think of my self as superstitious but I do sometimes wonder if the Rule of Three is one of those “spooky” things that happen that we can’t explain.

Recently, the Rule of Three worked out when Abe, Gorbachev and The Queen all died in quick succession. Now we have James Cordon leaving The Late, Late Show and Trevor Noah leaving The Daily Show.

So, who’s next?

The obvious choice is Seth Meyers, who would leave The Late Show to begin his transition into the new producer of Saturday Night Live. He is the ideal candidate and it would take a few years for the transition between the two men so the storied late night show could continue for decades to come without a hitch.

But I’m always wrong. So, who knows?

Unpacking Dua Lipa’s Life In The Public Eye

by Shelt Garner

Here are my hot takes on two issues about hottie Dua Lipa’s life in the public eye of late. The first one is about how she’s manages to be really hot without running around with no clothes on like, say, Madonna in 1989.

What Ms. Lipa does is she wears skin-tight clothes that actually aren’t very reveling. And she will do a sexxy dance now and again at her concerts with her mic stick which gives everyone dirty thoughts. But, to date, she has yet to really give her fans any T&A. It’s all been suggested.

And I think, in a sense, it’s a win-win.

She gets to scratch that particular itch in her psyche in a pretty mundane manner and her fans THINK they’re seeing a lot more than they are. Meanwhile, let’s talk about what is going on between she and Trevor Noah.

First — I have no idea what is going on between her and Noah. But I do know that she was dating Anwar Hadid and as I seem to recall that Noah was in, in some way, friends with one or more of the supermodel Hadid sisters. If that was the case, then, that would make a lot of sense.

But I may have gotten that wrong — couldn’t find any proof of it via Google just a moment ago.

‘A Constant Companion’ — #lyrics to a #pop #ballad

A Constant Companion
lyrics by Shelt Garner
please give credit if you produce or perform

never can forget you
even if I wanted to
you are always by my side
and within me
people may come and go
but you’re my
constant companion
constant companion
constant companion

you fade but never leave
make me think I can do as I please
but you come roaring back
leave me flat on my back
from the pain left by desire
but you’re my
constant companion
constant companion
constant companion

all alone I moan
you’re gone I’m sure
leaving me when my heartache
then you return telling me
it was all a fake

the doctors just say its in my head
something to live with
to experience in the end
no matter how much chagrin
but you’re my
constant companion
constant companion
constant companion

a constant companion
a constant companion
a constant companion
a constant companion

A Weekend For Structural Cogitating About The First Novel’s Structure

by Shelt Garner

I’m going to pause for a few days this weekend to mull some structural issues with the novel I’m working on. I just need some fresh eyes. I’m so close to figuring out how I want to lay this story out. And, yet, I’ve changed things so much that I’m a little — not a lot, but a little — burnt out.

I’ve done this throughout this project to great success. In the past, when I had more money, I would go on a Writer’s Retreat. But I’m very, very poor now. So, I just spend the time reading and daydreaming.

But I have a feeling I may be about to make a major breakthrough with the structure of this novel that will help things speed up significantly. I’m still on schedule to finish the second draft of my first novel at some point in spring 2023.

Paint ‘The Town’ Woke

by Shelt Garner

One of my favorite media industry podcasts is The Town. It’s great. I really enjoy it and I recommend you listen to it. And, yet, this most recent episode left me thinking, “What the what?”

So, our intrepid media reporter Matt Belloni had his good buddy from CNBC Julia Boorstin on to talk about gender inequality in Hollywood. So far, so good. I was going to do some blogging this evening and that sounded like something fun to listen to while I did some writing.

And then.

Boorstin comes out swinging, saying that it’s all Hollywood’s fault that starting around 1983 smelly boys took over the software industry because of the popularity of movies like Wargames. Now, some context, as I understand it, most “computers” before the rise of personal computing were, well, people — women, specifically.

And I was a horrible college student and even I know that “correlation is not causation.” Maybe it’s not that Hollywood drove women out of the software industry, but rather Hollywood was picking up on changes in not just society, but all the wealth being generated by successful programmers. And it’s a pretty high level of “presentism” when you assume that given such a development that Hollywood execs would suddenly show a 2020s level of wokeness and decide they were going to produce all these movies showing how great it would be for young women to be programers.

Of course the did what they would always do up until Woke Hollywood — try to tell stories that got people (specifically sweaty young people who needed a dark movie theatre to make out in) into theatre seats. Again — I just don’t think you can blame Hollywood for “driving women out of the computer industry.” Hollywood is reactive, not proactive on a lot of social justice issues — and everything else, for that matter.

But, back to the story. No longer was a human “computer” using brute mental force to get us to the moon. Now, it was male programmers who were doing a totally different type of job with a totally different value in the eyes of society. And I just don’t see any scenario where Hollywood back in the day was going to say “THIS WILL NOT STAND” and be go out of their way in 1983 to make sure women continued to be “computers” only now called “programmers.”

It’s all very murky and could be interpreted in a variety of ways. It all depends on your agenda and if you want to sell books about the gender gap in high profile industries or not.

First — does pointing this out make me “problematic” and “canceled?” Probably. But, in my defense, I point all of this out because “wokeness” — specifically in Hollywood — is really, really hurting that industry. As the popularity of Top Gun: Maverick attests, sometimes, people just want to see a movie without any ulterior motive.

And, I will note, that I’m writing a six novel series with a lot of representation and a lot of empathy. And, yet, of course, given that I’m a middle age CIS white male and a lot of Leftists will probably freak the fuck out that I would do such a thing — even if I try to be as empathetic as possible to women, the LGBTQ community and POC.

Given how many non-male, non-white, non-straight characters I have planed for these six novels I’m working on, it’s going to be pretty ironic when I’m attacked when I don’t fit the media narrative on this specific issue.

And, really, like I said, this is all a matter of interpretation. It’s easy to spin the particular in either direction. But at least, even I, someone who sees himself in the center-Left spectrum of the political debate, have to admit that “woke Hollywood” exists and it’s poorly serving the audience.