by Shelt Garner
As always, America’s fate may rest with the actions of a ding-dong. I say this because there is a down low political crisis brewing in Arizona. If Republicans finally manage to “prove” that Trump “won” the state and then other states that Biden won that have deranged Republican legislatures follow suit, there may come a point when we have a severe political crisis on our hands.
And it would happen a lot quicker than you think.
All that would have to happen is just enough states flip from Biden to Trump through the nefarious machinations of Republicans to “prove” that Trump “really did win” and we might get that 2021 civil war way too many people seem interested in.
It’s easy to imagine Trump getting really excited and at the news that he “won” and crowing at every opportunity. (Now, over the years, I’ve come up with many, many, many over-the-top dystopian Trump scenarios and he’s proven himself to be too stupid and lazy to actually do any of them. So this could be another example of this. But hear me out.) This causes the small population lily white states of the Mountain area to call snap state conventions to secede from the Union because, well, lulz, Trump “won” YOLO.
I don’t really think this will happen, but there is a greater-than-zero-chance that it just might…in 2021.
And, yet, if you’re a fucking MAGA cucksucker who wants to murder liberals in cold blood as part of a Second American Civil War…you aren’t really thinking things through. Yes, you can probably get six or so states with very small — and white — populations to “leave” the Union…but what are you going to do about the South, you morons.
You’re so wrapped up in the Glorious Cause of “making America Great again” by having a ding-dong president for life, that you are completely missing the issue of race. Race and a Southern secession crisis is not something you just wave your Miller Lite at and mumble something about how you’re figure that out when you get to it. The moment MAGA legislatures in the South attempt to leave the Union so they can suck Donald Trump’s political cock, you got yourself a race war.
Race relations in the United States are pretty shitty as it is. Throw in MAGA Nazis wanting to put African Americans under their jackboot in the South and…oh boy. That is not going to go well.
But given how idiotic MAGA people are on this subject — they really, really want a fucking civil war — I would suggest there are a few milestones to look for in the coming days. If these things begin to happen, then, yes, you can spooge in your AR-15 then clean it off and start thinking how you can murder people like me in cold blood because of cancel culture.
- Trump “wins” because Biden’s wins in a number of states are overturned by MAGA legislatures.
- Trump goes nuts and runs around saying he won and is actually still president. He won’t shut up about it and the fucking cocksucker MAGA people start to listen
- A number of MAGA Nazi state legislatures call secessionist conventions to leave the Union because, lulz, Trump is “really” president.
- The secession crisis smacks into the South and African Americans begin to freak the fuck out and something akin to a race war erupts.
- Average people begin to vote with their feet, with Red people in Blue states and Blue people in Red states fleeing their states because they fear for their lives simply because of a difference in political views with people around them in their neighborhoods.
- The two sides differences harden because of this political consolidation and the U.S. Military even begins to have problems with people leaving their ranks to side with the secessionists.
- Trump forms some sort of “shadow government” and calls up troops from the states that have “left” the Union.
- All hells breaks loose. There’s a civil war. A lot of people die. But at least Mary Sue won’t have to worry about being canceled after she yelled at a African American clerk for getting her order wrong.