by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
10. Graphic Porn
I retweet pictures of hot chicks all the time, but even I sometimes see really graphic porn tweets and blanch. There’s no need to go THAT far. Calm down, people. Use PornHub.
9. People Begging For Money
I just don’t care if you need money. *I* need money. We all need money. Shut up.
8. Joke Quote Re-Tweets
Sometimes, you’ll see a series of quoted re-tweets that go nowhere. It was funny in 2012 when the world wasn’t collapsing in on us.
7. Preening Writing Community Tweets
Anytime someone preens about this or that thing they’ve done — or not done — as a writer I want to vomit. I talk about writing all the time on Twitter and do a lot of videos, too. But I actively avoid self-conscious preening. No one wants to read that.
6. Dumb Question
The Dumb Question type of tweet is so grating on the nerves that it makes you want to stop using the service altogether. Shut up with the stupid questions, you fucking idiots.
5. Old People Crowing About Their Birthday
I do not care how old you are. Shut up.
4. Passive Aggressive Tweets
Whenever someone says, “Woe is me, no one ever interacts with my tweets” I get very angry. Shut up, you idiot.
3. Injured Animals
No one wants to see that. Why do I want to see a cat or dog that is horrible mutilated?
2. Too Woke For Your Own Good
These people act like college sophomores and blame everything on CIS straight males even when they have nothing to do with whatever the problem is.
1. Begging For Followers
This is the absolute worst tweet imaginable. Shut up. If you want more followers, produce better content.
