Tag: lottery

All Giddy Lottery Content Is Embarrassing

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m of the opinion that the lottery is if not rigged, then every once in a while it’s subtly manipulated for effect. As such, just as we enter the dead of the year when nothing much is going on, we see that Mega Millions is around $1 billion in pay out.

This serves the purpose of giving the lottery a lot of free PR via cringe worthy media coverage that, in hindsight, is just embarrassing. And I say this as someone who occasionally buys lottery tickets for the entertainment value, if nothing else. I love to run scenarios and I’ve spend a fair amount of time the last few days daydreaming about what I would do if I won that sweet, sweet Mega Millions money.

But every time I think about waxing poetically about how I would change the world with all that money, I hold back. I’m not going to win, no matter how much I may get all excited and daydream about it. So, why the world would I want to document all those daydreams then have them recorded for eternity for me to wince at?

I will note, in passing, that if I had a cool $600 million to play with, I would change the world. I would be John Lennon in the 1970s flamboyant and conspicuous and the press wouldn’t know what to do with me.

And, yet, the chances of any of that happening are so astronomical as to be pointless to even think about — not that I don’t still run the scenario occasional in my head while I — and a few other million people — wait for the drawing. It definitely would be interesting to see people pour over my social media record. Yikes! There’s a lot there for people to “cancel” me for, I’m afraid. For all my high hopes, I’d probably just become another Ken Bone.

So, I’m going to at least try to put my head down and work on my novel.

Why I Play The Lottery Even Though I Think Doing So Is More Obscene Than Porn


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I would much rather be seen buying porn than a lottery ticket, and, yet, I keep playing the lottery. The lottery is a tragic regressive tax on poor people like me. But I will say that the lottery pays for itself in the amount of hope and entertainment it gives me.

Take today, for instance — the Mega Millions payout is about $1 billion. I know I’m not going to win, but I feel the itch to at least play so I can daydream about how I would make the world a better place if I won.

I have some very specific (big) ideas about what I would do if I won.

But, alas, it’s just daydreams.

So, in general, I would say don’t play the lottery. It’s designed to soak the poor by giving them hope.

On The Nature Of Fate



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

As a form of entertainment, I have begun to play the lottery little bit more than I used to. The likelihood that I will ever win has definitely not improved, but I do dwell a little bit more on what I might do with the money if I ever did win.

I find myself thinking about the events leading up to that day’s drawing, wondering if there is anything of note or out of the ordinary about them. Anything that might give me some sense that I might actually win.

I think that, in itself, pays the price of the ticket. All that dwelling on what I might do with a sudden huge amount of money is enough to keep me entertained for a little while.

Anyway, today has been rather dull.

Nothing out of the ordinary has happened.

Why I Play The Lottery (And You Shouldn’t)



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I lead a very hum-drum life. Not much ever happens of note. I generally think playing the lottery — any lottery — is extremely obscene due to its regressive-tax nature.

And, yet, I find myself playing the lottery these days on occasion for no other reason than it gives my otherwise dull life a modicum of excitement caused by the feeling of you-just-never-know that comes from buying a lottery ticket.

I have, however, come to think the Mega Millions and Power Ball lotteries (the two I play on occasion) are fixed, fixed, fixed. They futz with the calculations of the drawings so the prizes get huge and, as such, draw attention to the game. I also think they focus on certain participating states like South Carolina for some reason. (It always seems to be someone from South Carolina who wins these lotteries.)

With that in mind, I often go to really strange places to buy lottery tickets simply because I hope maybe that will improve my luck (given that where I usually buy my tickets have not be successful to date.) I also am very aware of anything weird happening in my life in general. In the past, that was the only reason why I would play the lottery at all — if something bizarre happened around the time I bought one.

Whenever I play the lottery, the ticket pays for itself by all the daydreaming I do about what I would do if I won. These dreams can grow quite grandiose. I would move to NYC and become a bon viant. I would change people’s lives in a big, historical fashion.

Then I lose, yet again.

So, I think it’s safe to say that I’m wasting my money every time I play. Though, I will note that something I once was told about the lottery did happen recently — if you dream of a dead relative, play the lottery. I dreamed of my late mother over the weekend. I have no idea what that means. Though, I think the exact adage is if you dream of a dead relative “play your lottery numbers.”

Who knows.

Anyway. Don’t play the lottery. You won’t win.

Money (Would) Change Everything

By Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Meh. Just meh. Nothing fun-interesting is going on and all I got is working on my novel. But I do find myself idly musing about what would happen if I won the big lottery drawing tonight. It’s interesting that simply by having a lot of money, people would pay attention to me.

Alas, I have no money and am not going to win, so all of this is moot.

It’s sad that the only way I will ever get anyone to listen to me is to have money. Or be a creative success in a big way. I say this after nearly a decade of doing absolutely nothing with my life.

Anyway, I need to get back to work on my novel.