4 Minute Warning — Corona Virus Threat Assessment For Feb. 23rd

Lulz!
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner


No one listens to me. No one cares. But I can’t help myself. I need to at least put down my own thoughts about WuFlu before I go back to working on my novel. So, here goes.

America
We have three major regional powers — South Korea, Iran and Italy slowly and collectively faceplanting. And, yet, fucking Fortress America is being “protected” by the magical mystery Big Dick Energy of our Doofus Dear Leader — or whatever dumb theory the Christian Right has come up with when they’re not drinking fucking bleach. The American Twitter intelligentsia, which SHOULD be using their collective voices to educate the population about WuFlu is too busy stroking their taints about their Campaign 2020 hot takes to worry themselves with that.

And then, Trump’s leave the country for a major meet-and-greet with the leader of India. This has got to be the stupidest idea of Trump’s presidency and he’s had a lot of them. For POTUS to be on the other side of the world just as a pandemic may be about to strike the country is…less than optimal. There’s a greater-than-zero chance that we could wake up to the horror of multiple warm and hot zones across the United States and…lulz…POTUS is struggling with having to eat vegetables and making crass jokes about Indian food across from the leader of a billion people.

Then you have to think about what would happen if the entire air system shut down in a frantic spasm as global leaders tried to shut down what was already here: a pandemic. It would be like 9/11, only last for days, weeks and months and be all over the world. It would be 3W – World War WuFlu. How would POTUS be able to lead if he wasn’t even physically in the country? Who would lead the country? Pence? What if — God forbid — the opening of 3W was not only a wave of hot and warm zones across the nation, but six or seven major elderly political figures croaking in quick succession? THEN what are we going to do? I don’t know. I just know the first few hours and days of a 3W would be unlike anything we’ve seen since the Civil War. It would be worst than WW2 because it would be domestic, as well. It would be mass chaos all over the globe until we started to get our wits about us.

Throw in the possibility of THREE major regional wars going nuclear, and lulz, things get even weirder. I mean, if the entire global system goes belly up while Trump is in India and there’s a war between India and Pakistan….yikes! We’d need Snake Plissken to fix that particular problem. But that really is the absolute worst case scenario. Trump could never get trapped in India during a nuclear war with Pakistan caused by WuFlu. Right? That could never happen.

I still think there’s a TMZ Ticking Bomb — if there was a massive outbreak of WuFlu in the States, the first thing that would happen would be a lot of elderly celebrities would die in quick succession. That and maybe South Florida’s death rate would abruptly sky rocket.

Iceland
I continue to wonder about Iceland, and other popular tourist destinations around the States. It just seems that Iceland would be the one nation best prepared to realize what was going on as it was happening. Way, way too many Americans visit Iceland in a year for it not to get a gut punch if there was a “shadow” WuFlu pandemic happening here. My fear is that WuFlu is all over the United States right now, but because most people simply don’t go to the doctor because they don’t want to medical bills, that it’s not until the number of REALLY sick people grows so enormous that we notice it. That’s why I think Iceland might give us a heads up — all those slightly sick Americans exposing the natives of Iceland would inevitably bring that lovely nation to its knees whenever the outbreak finally happened there. But I have no idea if I’m anywhere near the truth on that one. I’m Brian Fellows and all that. But I would, if had any power in Iceland — which I don’t — declare a national energy and get EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING COUNTRY tested for WuFlu.

Japan
While right now Italy, South Korea and Iran are getting a lot of attention, I think it’s Japan we should keep an eye on. There actual number of cases apparently is growing exponentially and they have about 125 million with a lot of the being old. We’re careening towards a situation where all of Northeast Asia is going to have to be written off economically. If that doesn’t do something to the global economy then maybe we really are living in the Matrix. If Japan is brought to its knees not so much because of deaths but because, well, 60% of the population is too sick to do anything that might cause the Masters of The Universe in NYC to pause for a moment while doing “rails on tails.”

China
I have no idea what is going no here. Someone, somewhere, is lying. And President Xi wants everyone to go back to work ASAP to make widgets for the capitalist running dogs in the West. There’s a chance that China is going to implode and take its economy with it. Again, all those “but I’m making money” Trump supporters might say, “Well, I’ve made all the money I’ve going to make NOW you can impeach him successfully.”

Iran
Iran is interesting because it has more deaths associated with its outbreak than anywhere else. It has eight deaths to date. That’s a lot, but it’s still not the exponential growth in deaths that maybe we might otherwise fear. I still don’t understand how it’s outbreak fits in what the other ones around the globe. But it didn’t cut off air traffic at the beginning of the Wuhan outbreak, so, I dunno.

Italy
This outbreak is the one that hits closest to home (other than South Korea because I lived there for five years). The scenes I see there seem like something I might see in the States in, say, two weeks. Panic buying. People generally freaking out, that kind of thing. It is interesting that, just like as depicted in the book WWZ, different nations react to WuFlu in different ways according to their collective personality.

Anyway. That’s where things stand. The DPRK is acting weird — as usual — but I may devote an entire blog post to that situation.

Author: Shelton Bumgarner

I am the Editor & Publisher of The Trumplandia Report

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