That Sweet Meteor Of Death Can’t Come Soon Enough

by Shelt Garner

The fact that I woke up this morning to people being mad that John Mulaney had Dave Chappelle come on his set in D.C. last night is really disheartening for a number of reasons.

John Mulaney

One is, the free speech issue. And I think that’s what makes me the most angry. I totally validate if you’re angry over Chappelle’s “trans-phobic” jokes, but don’t get so mad that you don’t think he has the right to say them in the first place.

Part and parcel of that first issue is the more the Left hates on Chappelle for the contents of his stand up routine, the more you make him a icon of the Right. Which obviously is very surreal given his the general material he uses in his sets.

Dave Chappelle

But I think the overall takeway from this particular clusterfuck is not only are the expectations of GenZ when it comes to social issues far different than all the other generations, but also the every day whatever middle ground there might have once been between Left and Right is growing smaller and smaller.

Each side has to defend their side’s most extreme position as if it’s their own, even if it isn’t.

Why Things Getting Bumpy Between Now & 2025 May Be Inevitable

by Shelt Garner

If you don’t notice that we’re on the cusp of some big historical events, you must not be paying attention. Here are a few things to look at between now and Certification Day 2025

This is very much a downlow kind of potential crisis. It will only really be a crisis if the community spread we’re seeing here and there really begins to take off. So, keep an eye on the next two weeks. (It takes too weeks between when you’re infected and when you show symptoms — at least that’s the case with smallpox, as I understand it.
GQP MAGA Fascism
The thing we have to appreciate is the MAGA New Right cancer has completely taken over the Republican Party. They have come to believe that, by definition, if they lose an election that it’s rigged. Of course, it’s going to get ironic when they finally gain power again and never let it go and the opposite side will have ever reason to believe that this is really the case. But anyway –the point is, even if we manage to punt the risk of GQP autocracy down the road a few election cycles, we aren’t going to be able to eliminate it totally — at some point we’re going to face the existential choice of autocracy or civil war.
A Potential Civil War
Until the GQP-themed autocracy is finally consolidated once and for all, there is going to be a risk of a civil war. Blue States may ultimately refuse to “bend a knee” and instead try to leave the Union. Then we have a civil war. But I still doubt seriously that it going to happen. But it is, at least, possible.

A Podcast Idea

by Shelt Garner

When I was in Seoul, I came as close as I’m ever going to get to the Algonquin Round Table with something called Talking Crap. It was a little group of really witty people who sat around, got drunk and said witty things.

Now, let me be clear — absolutely no one listens to me and I have no friends. But if someone in New York City could round up a bunch of really interesting people — maybe four? — who would spend an hour each day talking about the New York scene and such.

I wish there was something I could do to make this a reality, but I can’t. I’m powerless. But if you want to know what’s inspired me, watch this video about the “Vicious Circle.”

We May Have To Accept ‘Community Spread’ of MonkeyPox

by Shelt Garner

There is no need to panic. And I’m just speculating, but it seems as though there is a possibility that there is now community spread of monkeypox happening here and there around the globe.

I say this because people are popping up who just seemingly randomly have it. Now, there is a vaccine for monkeypox and it’s 85% effective. So, the key issue is to simply hold tight and see what happens next.

This could pass and it be no big deal. But I will admit that COVID has me a little twitchy with the future o f monkeypox.

The Mysterious World Of My Webstats

by Shelt Garner

Even though I’m fixated on my Webstats to an embarrassing degree, I have come to believe that there’s a lot that goes on with them that my software doesn’t pick up.

One time, I saw someone apparently copy — scrape — my entire blog so they could read it as they liked without me being able see what they were interested in. And so, now, given all these accesses by “Automattic” I think maybe (?) something similar is going on?

Maybe someone is using a scraping bot to copy most — if not all — of my blog so they can look at it in peace later without me seeing them look at anything specific. The details of this elude me, but lulz, it’s fun to think and write about. And maybe I’m totally wrong and I’m just proving myself, yet again, to be a “delusional jerk with a good heart.”

But it would make a lot of sense — the access from “Automattic” isn’t just one hit or two. It’s dozen of hits over a very short amount of time.

Page Views:109 (14 this visit)Latest Page View:19 May 2022 22:26:45Visit Length:34 mins 9 secsResolution:UnknownSystem:UnknownUnknownTotal Visits:25Location:Ashburn, Virginia, United StatesISP / IP Address:Automattic (  Referring URL:(No referring link)Entry Page: UnknownLatest Page: Unknown

Anyway, lulz, nothing matters. It’s just interesting. It’s interesting that anyone would go to the trouble of scraping this blog when they could just use the Internet Archive. But I guess the person in question doesn’t want me to know anything about them at all — they don’t want me to know their real ISP and they don’t want me to know what they’re interested in.

Which, of course, only makes the whole thing more intriguing. I suppose something bad is about to happen to me — get sued for some reason? — or something interesting might be about to happen. I’m a “terribly negative person” so I’m assuming I’m about to get sued.

I don’t have any money, so….?

Some Theories For The Strange Things Happening In My Webstats

by Shelt Garner

It makes no sense whatsoever that anyone from Automattic would give a shit about me. Why would the people who run my publishing software care about what I’m writing on this obscure Website? So, let’s go through the theories.

1.) I’m Going To Be Deplatformed Soon
This theory is that all my drunk ranting has caught the attention of someone at Automattic (or maybe Mueller, She Wrote) and they’re going to deplatform me because of it. All my drunk ranting got me deplatformed from Facebook, so I guess it’s possible it could happen here, too.
2) I’m Going To Be Featured Somehow
With this theory it’s the opposite — all my ranting is interesting and, as such, I’m going to be praised somehow by Automattic for using their platform to be thought provoking.

3) I’m Looking At Things Wrong
The last theory is it isn’t anyone from Automattic at all, but rather someone is simply accessing my content in such a way that it registers with my Webstat software as the Automattic domain name being the point of access. This is the most interesting of the theories. Who could it be? I don’t know. NSA? CIA? Someone from Hollywood interested in my ramblings about my novel now that I’m getting closer to wrapping up the first draft of the first novel?

Who knows.

Is AOC Running For President?

by Shelt Garner

Well, well, well, AOC is engaged. I’m quite pleased and I wish the couple well. But the pragmatic political observer in me has to smirk — I think AOC may run for POTUS in 2024 should the opportunity arise.

Now, some caveats

One is, I don’t know anything and, as a CIS white male, you should aggressively ignore me. Only an intersectional feminist woman of color can properly talk about the complexities of AOC getting engaged in the context of her political career.

So, if I was smart, I would either a) not write this post or b) stop here.

But, guess what, I’m a dumbass. So I’m going to not only keep going but also address the pink elephant in the room — if AOC wants to be POTUS, she probably needs to have a baby between now and November 2024. I say this as a long-time AOC supporter.

I’m just being realistic.

I mean, if HRC can have one (1) baby, then I don’t think it’s too much to believe that AOC will have one baby simply so the nutjobs on the far Right can’t attack her for not knowing the joys of motherhood.

Anyway. Ignore me. But I had to get that off my chest. I hope AOC runs — and wins — in 2024 (if the opportunity so arises.) And if not POTUS, maybe she can be someone’s veep.

MAGA’s Asymmetrical Attack On American Democracy

by Shelt Garner

The thing that so many Twitter liberals miss is we face a long term, structural problem when it comes to MAGA. They don’t to win every election, they just have to win enough elections to destroy American democracy. Which, if we were really all that honest, we would admit doesn’t even exist anymore.

We’re an anocracy. Or, in other words, an autocracy without an autocrat.

So, we’re either going to have a civil war or turn into an autocracy. At the moment, I think we’re just going to peacefully turn into a full blow autocracy because the entire system is designed to keep people sedate and placated. It happened in 2000 and when Republicans brazenly steal the 2024 election, it will happen again.

And that will be that.

There will be the occasional huge protest over this or that thing, but in general, they will be as meaningless in the United States as they are currently in Russia. So, lulz.

If you have the means, get out the country. It would be comforting to think that maybe the center-Left might at least put up some sort of struggle…but it definitely looks as though that isn’t going to happen.

Oh well.

Not To Brag — Too Much — But I’ve Come Up With A Really Good First Novel

by Shelt Garner

I’m just about to wrap up the first draft of my first novel and I’m pleased with the general concept and plot. I still have a lot and I mean A LOT of work to do to get anywhere near being good enough to get published.

But, in general, the concept of this first novel is really good. It’s interesting and thought provoking and I think it will be a really good calling card for the rest of the universe I’ve come up with.

At a minimum, I at least won’t embarrass myself. That’s the goal, at least. And so there you go. I have a huge amount of writing to do. We’ll see how things work out.

Sarah Squirm Should Host SNL’s Weekend Update

by Shelt Garner

Of all the people on SNL right now, I think Sarah Squirm is the edgiest of the troupe and, as such, would be perfect to be one of the two hosts of Weekend Update.

Sarah Squirm

She’s very brash and has the ovaries necessary to drag Weekend Update into the modern era. The only downside is she’s so brash and divisive that I suspect she would only be able to do it for a year or two.

But I really love her style of humor. It’s very, very funny. But it’s also so chaotic that it’s not as timeless as it might otherwise be.

Anyway. No one listens to me.