Month: May 2020

TNT: Trump / Trump 2020?



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

My current estimation is at some point in the next few weeks, we will reach a Trump freakout tipping point and Trump will rather abruptly dump Pence as his 2020 running mate.

Now, the Republican MAGA backbench is so wide and deep that he has about 30 people he could pick from who would get the job done. But, for the moment, it seems two people are more perfect than the others — Ivanka Trump and Gen. Mike Flynn.

Flynn is perfect because, well, he’s a fucking traitor and probably Trump’s Russian “handler” so what better way to “own the libs” than to put a turncoat one heartbeat away from the presidency. So, Flynn seems perfect. And, yet, Ivanka would also fix a lot of problems for House Trump.

She’s a “threefer” in that she’s Jewish, a woman and a Trump….and moderate! So, she’d be perfect for the white college educated women in the exerbs that everyone seeks so desperately in a presidential campaign. What I could see happening is something like this:

Trump’s political fortunes get dramatically worse. His insanity and his criminality fuse into one and he begins to lash out in some pretty insane ways (he’s already doing that, natch). As part of this insane lashing out, he does a major shake up of his campaign, including booting Pence. (Brad Parscale is a different matter. He’s too good at his job for Trump to do anything about him. He’s so powerful — and necessary to Trump’s victory — I could see Trump naming HIM his veep.)

Then Trump names Ivanka his veep. Everyone goes insane for a few days. Then things begin to calm down and we realize that, like most Trump political moves, it’s both genius and very stupid. But, really, the whole point is to simply setup Ivanka (and Jared) to become president at some point in Trump’s ill-gotten second term. Jared will probably really run the country, while Ivanka is a figure head. Or maybe there might be some combination of Ivanka-Jared-Flynn should Trump finally totally and completely lose his fucking mind in his second term.

Trump is going to win, no matter what. I see no indication that he will ever EVER, ever have any political accountability because of some pretty significant macro problems in the American political system.

Lulz.

‘538’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Nothing matters but the actual 538 human beings that make up presidential Electors. So, if the dozen other ways Trump has to steal the 2020 Election don’t work, he’s simply going to threaten the fuck out of Electors to vote for him.

And if THAT doesn’t work — MAGA is going to murder people they don’t like (like me!) in cold blood.

So, spare me all the giddy excitement about this or that poll indicating Trump is going to lose. Autocrats never fucking lose. We’re going to wake up Jan 20th, 2021 and Trump is going to be sworn in for a second term. There is absolutely no scenario I can think of where that doesn’t happen.

It’s like a law of nature at this point.

Then we get a Constitutional Convention and things get really, really dark, really really fast. And, yet, the end of the United States will have a very clear date to it, I guess. At least the American history teachers of the future will have an easier time of it making test questions.

Things Are Drifting In The Right Direction With The Novel



by Shelt Garner
@Sheltgarner

While I know to everyone who is not me, it seems like I’m spending all my time writing and talking about the novel I’m working on and not actually, well, working on the novel, this is not, in fact, true. It’s just that am doing all of this in a vacuum and, well, sometimes I need to collect my thoughts in a public fashion.

But things are, in fact, moving towards the next stage of development — the one where I actually start writing the novel. I’ve improved so much as a storyteller recently because of how much reading I’m doing. That, in itself, is one of the reasons why my march towards writing again is slowed so much. I just keep realizing how bad my previous concepts of writing a novel were and how much I need to continue to improve my storytelling ability.

I just don’t want to embarrass myself. I want to write a really good first novel that I can use to write even better fiction in the future. My dream is to write a breakout novel like Stieg Larsson’s Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. But my personality is so dramatically different than what I believe Larsson’s was, that I can draft all I want to off of him, my story is going to be significantly different.

It would be now that I would usually head to NYC and vegge out for a few days to process life and art before pushing forward. But because of fucking COVID19, I simply can’t do that. I’m probably going to do some traveling soon, like this weekend, but I’m going to drive south, not take the bus north. (No matter how much it pains me that I have to do this.)

Anyway, I continue to read as well as develop. That is really helping me with this novel.

Believe In Yourself — No One Else Will



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The thing about someone like Crooked Media’s Erin Ryan is I can mean as well as much as I want — she simply will never accept me for who I am. I’m always going to be a middle-aged loser who is a member of the patriarchy. I only mention this because, well, I’m going to draw upon what I know about her to think up my novel’s female romantic lead.

I am honestly rather indifferent to Ms. Ryan one way or another — live long and prosper, lady. It’s just a little annoying that I can paint the most pleasant picture of her I want via my female romantic lead and she will never, ever return the favor for any reason. It would be bad for her “image” to simply give me an empathetic assessment should some reason arise.

Anyway, I believe in myself when it comes to this novel. I try to bend over backwards to be as empathetic to wide-range of types of people. I want to be as representative as I can possibly be. In fact, I’m a big believer in representation in art. But, again, lulz, nothing matters. I’m a loser to people like Ms. Ryan. I’m not perfect and I’m not some sort of ideal feminist ally. All I can do is try to write something entertaining and see what happens.

Though I will note that pretty much this entire novel gets its energy from my white-hot rage against MAGA. I fucking hate MAGA with a white hot rage. Since I’m a man of peace, a man of ideas, all I got is a novel. All my venting about MAGA is diffused to such an extent in this novel that hopefully you’ll see my hatred of MAGA is more about my hatred of extremism than anything else.

I don’t mean to whine, but the whole thing can grow frustrating. I can’t help who I am. I can’t help my age. I can’t help my background. I can just try to write the best novel I can and see what happens.

‘The Trumpty Dance’ An Anti-Trump Old School #Rap

This is embarrassingly bad, but it gives you some sense of what I wanted to do with it.


The Trumpty Dance
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
please give credit if you produce or perform
(With apologies to The Digital Underground)

lie to me baby
lie to me baby
lie to me baby

you thought I was a fooling you
but here I am ruling you
so let me introduce myself
my name is Trump
sure I’m a litte dumpty
but I’m still getting grabbing pussy
and I’ve got a new dance
if you don’t do it you’re a wussy

the Trumpty Dance is gas
the Trumpty Dance is at first glance
just a bunch of crap

I got a foreign wife
while I try with all my might
to tell you immigrants are a blight
but you’ll buy my crap
you think it smells so nice
as long as I get my wall
it’s my call

Nazis do the Trumpty-Trump!
Rich people do the Trumpty-Trump!
Gun-nuts do the Trumpty-Trump!

‘Deceit’ — #Lyrics to A Pop Song

I’m being delusional. But I need to distract myself from developing a novel, so I’m going to write lyrics.


‘Deceit’
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
please give credit if you record or produce

it was a time of universal deceit
people gnashed their teeth
hoping one day for freedom
the lies of the state reek
leaving us all far too weak

we live in a time of deceit
tell the truth
tell the truth
it’s a revolutionary act
and that’s a fact
that’s sad, sad, fact

they’ll come for us all one day
for the smiles on our faces
they can only think of disgrace
hoping for us to collapse
but that would just be a lapse

we live in a time of deceit
tell the truth
tell the truth
it’s a revolutionary act
and that’s a fact
that’s sad, sad, fact

(bridge)
lies surround us
but don’t succum
the peace will return
I’m just biding my time
I’m just biding my time
I’m just biding my time

we live in a time of deceit
tell the truth
tell the truth
it’s a revolutionary act
and that’s a fact
that’s sad, sad, fact

‘Read My Mind’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Song

Just screwing around. Feeling inspired. I know nothing about music, but sometimes it’s fun to blow off some steam by writing lyrics.


Read My Mind
lyrics by Shelton Garner
@sheltgarner
please give credit if you produce or perform

I look at you with a thrill
wondering what is your drill
all I can assume what is done is done
free your mind since you’ve

read my mind
guessed my thoughts
read my mind
read my mind
guess my thoughts
you read my mind

I’m afraid it’s time to go
you’re so worried about the flow
my thoughts are too much I’m afraid
’cause you’re still not going to get laid

read my mind
guessed my thoughts
read my mind
read my mind
guess my thoughts
you read my mind

(bridge)
read my lips
I’m done with your shit
no more to think
action is it

read my mind
guessed my thoughts
read my mind
read my mind
guess my thoughts
you read my mind

I Have No Idea What I’m Doing With This Novel



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I really have no idea what I’m doing with this novel. But the outline I’m working on keeps drifting towards something I hope to be very pleased with, so I keep going. I’ve finally reached the point where I fully understand that writing a novel is a marathon, so just because a solution to an immediate problem won’t come to me right away, doesn’t mean it won’t soon enough.

Right now, I’m doing a lot of reading. They say if you have enough time to write, you have enough time to read. So I’m grazing a lot when it comes to reading. I have a number of books — a small library, in fact — of books I hope to read over the coming days to improve not just the general conceit of the novel, but the characters who in habit it, as well.

But, like I said, I have no idea what I’m doing. Yet I do hope to start writing again soon enough. Absolutely no later than July 1st. I am going to have to do a huge amount of reading to get to the point where even the outline is as good as I need it to be before I go to the next step of fleshing out individual lines in the outline.

I look over what I have done of the outline and I’m very pleased. I’ve made considerable progress on the outline in large part because I am no longer attempting to draft off of Stieg Larsson. I’m telling my story, not his (which I was doing on a structural level.) But I continue to use his book The Girl Who Played With Fire as my “textbook” as to how to write a novel.

But I definitely need to read more novels, just in general. And watch more movies. A whole lot more movies. I saw Chinatown for the first time recently and the ending left me shook. Anyway, I really need to be willing to go outside my creative comfort zone more.

Development Struggles With My Novel’s Female Romantic Lead



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I started off wanting my novel’s female romantic lead to be someone like Alexa Chung. Then she gradually evolve into someone more like Jodi Kantor. Now, she seems more inspired by Crooked Media’s Erin Ryan.

The reasons for this are simple. Chung is too much of a celebrity to write easily and, besides, what would she do? It’s difficult to stand around being gorgeous and witty in a novel. Her character needs to be active in the story. Meanwhile, while the actual human being Jodi Kantor probably has a lot of character, my writing isn’t good enough to portray the type of person she is (very smart and intense) without her character overshadowing the hero. So, now, I find myself thinking about using Erin Ryan as inspiration.

Ryan is very smart and has a lot of spunk. She’s also a bit younger than the other two women, so that affords a different dynamic than might otherwise exist. The dynamic between men, women and age is something you really have to think about seriously if you’re trying to write a novel that’s believable.

None of the women I mentioned would sit next to me in a restaurant. I can’t help how old I am or what I look like. I am who I am. I mean well and can tell a good story. It’s their loss if they think I’m just middle-aged creepy weirdo.

Anyway, my novel’s female romantic lead is now a combination of Alexa Chung, Jodi Kantor AND Erin Ryan. But, remember, while I can articulate a vision pretty well, my writing simply isn’t what it could be. So, there’s every reason to believe that while I can explain to you my vision for the character, should you actual read the character in the novel, you won’t be able to see the connection as clearly as I’ve stated here.

Who knows.

Things Are Still In Flux With This Novel



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

As this novel’s story grows stronger, I realize some things just don’t work. Sometimes, some pretty big issue stare me in the face for a few days until I figure out how to fix them.

Right now, I have a whole slate of fairly large issues I have to deal with. I’m going to sit down this evening and explicitly state what they are so I can hopefully fix them. I’m quite pleased with the state of the novel right now (it’s just an outline right now) but I have to finish this stage first before I can sit down and start to write.

Or, more specifically, before I can begin to flesh out the individual lines of the outline into individual scenes descriptions that I can use to write scenes with. But the key issue is to just keep going, no matter what. I know I’m being fussy, but I’d much rather be fussy now and have a great product to use as a starting off point than fail — again — to finish anything of note at all.

I know I shouldn’t talk about what I’m working on, but I can’t help myself. That’s who I am. I love to talk and write and I have no friends, so here we are.