Prediction: The Twitter Discourse For Netflix’s ‘Blonde’ Is Going To Be Extremely Dumb

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

What is wrong with young people? Everybody, man and woman likes a little soft porn T&A now and again and, yet, here we are all waiting for Zoomers to pop a gasket because maybe(?) Ana de Armas gives a few simulated blowjobs on screen. Back in my day, the blowjobs were REAL — looking at you, ChloĆ« Sevigny.

But things are different now.

The moment Blonde comes out on Netlfix, Twitter will be awash in woke intersectional feminist hot takes about What Does This Mean For Latnix Women in 2022.

It’s all very annoying.

Babies gotta come from somewhere. And it’s pretty ironic that Zoomers, who have had more access to hard core porn than any generation in human history are such fucking prudes. They’re so busy getting upset about how much Ms. de Armas gets nasty on screen that they totally miss that all that skin will probably help her career a great deal.

They call it ShowBIZ for a reason. Sex sells and always has. I would say it’s more notable how prudish modern pop culture is than any amount of T&A Ms. de Armas might show.

Ugh. Young people.

As An Old, I’m At A Lost As To Emma Chamberlain’s Popularity

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I think I’ve finally crossed into Being Old. While I find YouTube star Emma Chamberlain a delight, I just don’t “get” why she’s such a superstar with the Youngs.

Emma Chamberlain

I think some of it has to do with there’s a lot — and I mean A LOT — going on with YouTube that I don’t know anything about. Being a young YouTube star is like the textbook definition of something that I, as an Old, am completely clueless about.

Though, I have to wonder what her actual, real-life relationship is with that aging It Girl, Alexa Chung. Do they hate each other because they represent two slightly overlapping fashion eras? Or do they simply know that Ms. Chamberlain is the future and Ms. Chung is the past and they don’t let it get in the way of their frienship?

Whatever. No one cares what I think.

I Am Amazed By Dua Lipa’s Personal Brand Management

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Ok, let’s talk Dua Lipa. While she can’t dance, she (or her people) are among the best in the biz when it comes to making her both sexy and relatable. She has perfected her “brand” of being both just the right of unobtainable and relatable. I would compare her to that one stunning girl we all had a crush on in high school who would still allow nerds to help her with her with her homework with a knowing, compassionate smile.

Dua Lipa being her hot self.

And, what’s more, she’s perfected the art of using optical illusions to give men boners without really showing any T&A. For instance, there is the viral moment from one of her concerts where she, wearing a very short skirt, gyrates on her mic stand. This is all showbiz, of course. In reality, she’s very covered up and it’s just our dirty minds that fill in the gaps that don’t even exist.

We see something that LOOKS like her fucking her mic stand with a very reveling skirt, when in reality it’s her in a very well fitted outfit doing a provocative dance.

And, from what I can tell about Ms. Lipa, she’s always “on” without being arrogant. In short, she’s relatable. Which, in this fake age we live in, the gold standard. Women don’t see her as a threat and men see her as girlfriend material.

2022 – 2025: The End of Pax Americana

by Shelt Garner
@sheletgarner

We live in very dumb times. When the word “liberal” is now so toxic that you can’t even use the very true phrase “liberal world order” without crazy, frothy nutjobs on the Far Right growing very upset and paranoid, you live in very dumb times.

But the point is — since 1945, humanity has lived with unpreceded peace and prosperity because of, well, the “liberal world order” associated with Pax Americana. And since the fall of Communism, things have only gotten better for everyone involved.

And then MAGA slithered out of its black lagoon.

The thing about the decline of the American Empire is it’s happening in real time before our very eyes and, yet, we can’t process it. The average person is too busy raising their kids and paying their taxes to give the very abstract concepts that are happening all around us much thought.

But there is a very real chance that no matter which direction the United States goes — autocracy or civil war — we will see the end of Pax America and, as such, WW3 will happen. Remember, all that has to happen for WW3 to be declared is more than one major regional war break out at the same time. So, as such, even if what happens is dingus Trump in his second term pulls out of NATO and pulls troops out of ROK, then, there you go, WW3 on a plate. Because what would happen is the US leaving NATO would be a crushing blow to the post-WW2 liberal order.

As Trump “brought the troops home,” China would fill the massive geopolitical vacuum and invade Taiwan just because of, well, YOLO. At the same time, the DPRK would attack the newly undefended ROK. Then maybe Iran attacks Israel. Then maybe India and Pakistan have at it –with nukes!

The point is — we’re past the Event Horizon now. We’re in the danger zone. Something big, really big is probably going to either happen at any moment or no later than January 2025 around certification day. The bolts are popping off the United States at an alarming rate and there’s a good chance that if we don’t become an autocracy, we have a very nasty civil war with WMD used by both sides.

Regardless, not matter if we become an autocracy or have a civil war, there is going to be a Great Reset or Fourth Turning (or whatever the fuck you want to call it) and many, many people are going to die for a very dumb reason. This is it, we’re at the end of the beginning of Pax America.

I fear I, personally, will have to flee my home for political reasons when everything begins to collapse. My politics don’t fit my location. At least I havea passport.

Good luck.

Of Character & The Second Novel In This Six Book Project

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m thinking a lot about character as I game out the plot of this second novel in the series. It’s really doing wonders for my mood that I’m working on a different novel instead of the first novel. I can feel myself relaxing. I will note as an aside that I saw someone on Twitter joking about how all they do is “think” about writing.

Things are moving forward.

Well, to me, as long as you’re thinking about plot, character and then you write it down as necessary then, yes, since you’re doing development, that’s fine. You shouldn’t be too hard on yourself.

And, what’s more — remember, there is no reveled truth as to how to develop and write a novel. Whatever works for you, do it. As long you write something anything and finish it. (Then, of course, you have to re-write it a few times.)

Anyway, things are moving well with the second novel. And really, it’s just an issue of doing a lot of, well, thinking, then sitting down and gaming out an outline that I will, once I actually start writing the thing, change totally. But having some sort of outline fleshed out gives me a pleasant since of accomplishment.

My ultimate fear, of course, is that I’m not getting any younger. I really need to produce something, anything sooner rather than later. And there’s still a very good chance that my life is going to randomly be blown up out of the blue and I’m going to have to adjust my creative life accordingly.

Are We About To Witness The Birth Of The Patriot Party?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any more bonkers, Trump may be facing something of a Far Right Rebellion. Maybe. But two notable crazed Far Right MAGA nutjobs — Laura Ingram and Alex Jones — have either suggested it’s time for Trump to leave the political arena or stopped supporting him altogether.

Will trump leave the Republican Party for the Patriot Party?

What the what?

This is, obviously, great news for Unfrozen Caveman Autocrat Ron DeSantis. And, yet, there’s a real chance that we’re careening towards an unprecedented clusterfuck. And that would be a sizable portion of the Republican Party all agree that they want to move on from Trump and Trump simply will not do that.

I have no idea how this would play out, but, jokes on Ingram and Jones — for the time being, Trump continues to have an absolute lock on the base of the Republican Party. As such, if DeSantis was somehow magical secure the nomination, Trump could very well do a wildcat bid via something called, I don’t know, the Patriot Party. That would be a huge chunk of the Republican Party that would no longer be around to influence things.

The moment something like that happened, then we’re entering — gulp — Election of 1860 type clusterfuck where the would be mass political chaos because the usual two party system would begin to break down just as the country itself was tearing itself apart because of macro problems.

Or, put another way, Jesus Christ is the United States — the most power, wealthiest nation on earth — far, far more unstable than we’re willing to admit. And, remember, to some extent, we’ve been living with Pax Americana for the last 70 odd years. If the United States buckles, WW3 will promptly happen.

But if Trump bolts the Republican Party for a new Patriot Party….get ready, things are going to get very, very bumpy.

What If Pence Testifies To The January 6th Committee?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

There are rumors that Mike Pence is seriously considering talking to the January 6th Committee. Before we all get too Mueller, She Wrote level of excited about this, we need to put some context to what we might be able to expect from such a historic event.

The thing that Pence SHOULD do, which is the John Dean of the MAGA movement, is just not going to happen. I say he should do this because the only way that man is ever going to be POTUS is as part of a Unity Ticket of some sort. He doesn’t have to become Democrat, he just has to become a MAGA apostate to the point that he inflicts serious political damage to the movement.

Or, put another way, Pence would have to “change the question” when it came to what he was supposed to do. Instead of the question in his mind being, “How do I become president?” the question needs to be, “How do I change the political equation I face so dramatically that being president is even a possibility?”

Because, as it stands — Pence is never going to be a MAGA Republican President. I seem to recall MAGA wanted to hang him, at some point in the immediate past. So, if Pence really wants to be POTUS at this point, he has to burn everything to the ground. He has to flip the circuit breaker do a hard reboot of the American political system.

In the carnage that results from him destroying the Republican Party, he could very well end up on top. Liberals would be so grateful for what Pence had done that they would vote for him at least for one presidential cycle, even if they hate everything else about his politics. This is not hard. The easiest endgame for Pence is also the most painful — but it would work.

At the moment, I just don’t think Pence has it in him. He would pray about it a lot and God would tell him to give the January 6th Committee just enough information that he could still feel as though he might have a chance to be a MAGA POTUS.

Because, just from my casual conversations with my Traditionalist relatives, they hate Democrats and liberal-progressive with such a white hot rage that they can’t even imagine a situation where someone like Pence would do country over party and for the specific purpose of saving the Republic, align himself with people he didn’t agree with politically. They’re so busy thinking of the center-Left as Satanic groomers that they’re completely blinded to even considering the idea of saving America’s democratic birthright.

So, at the moment, I have very low expectations for Pence should he testify.

I Fear A Trump-Induced ‘Great Reset’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

These days, I find myself thinking of how there was once a point, I think during the 2016 campaign, when a rumor began to circulate that there was evidence of Trump using the “N-Word.” There was even a panicked meeting about within the Trump campaign in which one of his African American supporters asked, “Well, how many times did he say it?”

With that in mind, it’s clear that not only is Trump above the law in general, but for some weird reason his followers don’t have any red line at all. He could start to demand the right to sleep with women on their wedding night and his followers would, after about 24 hours of silence, have a ready set of talking points explaining why Trump, as a former president, has that right and why won’t the woke cancel culture mob let him do something so heterosexual? Trump is, in short, something akin to a God to MAGA, leaving us all to wonder if push came to shove and there was some sort of military action between Reds and Blues if we would find ourselves in a German 1945 “Gotterdammerung” type situation where every man, woman and child was willing to fight to the death for their big orange doofus.

All of this leads me to believe that, in the end, the real battle is who will be Trump’s successor. Whomever Trump picks to be 2024 veep is going to be in a prime position to be something akin to America’s Putin. And, given how bonkers Trump is at the moment, he could pretty much pick literally anyone, ranging from Gen. Mike Flynn to Steve Bannon. Anyone! It could get really dark, in fact.

We may all be Antifa in the end.

As an side, to think, at some point in the next 20 to 30 years, some very serious scholar is going to spend a lot of time writing a very serious, weighty tome about dingus Trump that takes him seriously, at last. It may not be an American who writes it because we’ll be an autocracy, but it’s going to happen somewhere. Unless, of course, WW3 happens it’s all moot.

Or, put another way, my prediction that there’s a real possibility that in the end MAGA will cause the death of more people than the Nazis did. If you factor in that a Second American Civil War would cause WW3, then that’s at least 1 to 2 billion dead right there. And I could see between 10 and 20 million American dead if Blue and Red started to lob WMD at each other in the context of a MAGA “revolution” or 2ACW.

Talk about a Great Reset or Fourth Turning!

Anyway, the point is, we live in the lead up to Something Big historically. I just don’t know if it’s autocracy, civil war, revolution, WW3 or some combination of all of those things. A lot of people are going to die because of a fucking dingus moron racist who is nothing more than a vessel, an avatar for white Christian rage.

And there doesn’t seem to be anything we can do about it.

Mulling The Second Novel In This Six Novel Project

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

At the moment, all I know about the second novel is it’s very important to the series and it’s about an abducted baby. Otherwise, everything is very much in flux. But given how huge this project is, I have a lot of room to flex my creative vision in the context of a broader universe and canon.

While I plan on using the latter part of August to flesh out the outlines of the five remaining novels, at the moment, I’m focused on the second novel. The second novel shows how the events of the first novel are beginning to change the community I’ve come up with.

It’s fun for me, the writer, because I have a huge, established canon to work with and all I have to do is figure out how to use the already existing characters in new ways. And it’s fun to think about how readers — who hopefully will be fans of the series by this point — will get an update on what their favorite characters are up to.

This six novel project is actual two trilogies, at least in my minds eye. Something similar happen to me when I tried to write a scifi book about First Contact. By the time I decided to work on a thriller instead, I had come up with three trilogies. It must be my nature to be really creatively ambitious.

Anyway, the key to finishing all of this is to not get burnt out and to not get overwhelmed. I have to stay focused and keep my eyes on the prize — writing four novels that so lay out how the community I’ve come up with got so fucked up that it makes total sense to the reader. In fact, it will be something of a treat for people who have been fans of the series from the beginning.

Did I mention I have a huge ego?

But this second novel is very, very important because it gives an important character in the series the motivation to do something that is very, very important to the overall canon. Wish me luck figuring out how to flesh the story out.

It’s slowly beginning to come to me, I think.

Well, I Have A Six Book Saga Covering 25 Years To Develop & Write Now

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m not getting any younger, so I have to put up or shut at this point. But I’ve come up with a really, really interesting six novel series that, if all goes according to play, would be the setup to a new series of thriller novels about my ultimate heroine who is meant to be an American homage to Lisbeth Salander. At least, that’s the vision.

I have been working on this project for several years now and it suffers from a severe case of mission creep. What started off as an effort on my part to rant in fiction about the Trumplandia Era has turn into something totally different. And, yet, I think if I’m ever going to finish this massive project, I’m going to have to tap into the rage that generated the energy to begin this project several years ago.

And I definitely am beginning to feel that rage against MAGA begin to well up in my psych. I need to remember where all of this coming from so there is some consistency of tone over the six novels. Or, put another way, I have to keep an eye on the prize — the last two novels are meant to be a scathing attack on Trumplandia and modern America in general. They’re going to be something of a soft-touch allegory about why I am so enraged by Trumplandia to begin with. But I don’t want to be preachy. I want to use subtext and also the canon of the universe I’ve created is constructed in such a way that you can enjoy the story for what it is without really thinking about how angry I am about how fucked up America is right now.

At least, that’s the goal.

But taking a little pause from writing is already beginning to pay benefits. I’m feeling the burn out that I’ve been experiencing the last few days begin to drain. I think by the time Sept 1st rolls around, I’m going to be excited to write again.