The Metrics Of Modern Dating

by Shelt Garner

Editor’s Note: I don’t know shit about women and I’m not pretending I do. Simply attempting to make some (at least somewhat) nuanced observations about modern dating life.

I’m repulsed by the notion of “the Red Pill” or “involuntary celibacy.” It just seems like men who aren’t willing to do what’s necessary to find a mate thinking up excuses as to why women have a responsibility to have sex with them, no matter what.

To be fair, there are, on the macro level, issues in the economy that make it more difficult for a lot of men to find a partner. But that doesn’t excuse men, on an individual level, from working harder to overcome such problems.

But enough about stuff like that, let’s address the most important issue of the day — ME.

There’s a particular young female Twitter liberal who really fucking grates on my nerves. She’s a lovely young woman and has a lot going for her. But she often whines about how difficult it is to find a boyfriend. Or she posts a picture of herself with a slightly passive-aggressive caption to it. I want to very gently give her some avuncular advice. Something along the lines of, “You’re blessed. Maybe if you realized that, your dating life would improve.”

But even that would probably enrage her. She’s young enough to not only not really know what she wants, but to then very publicly pontificate on what she doesn’t know she wants on Twitter.

So back to me. The issue is, I try to be the best person I can be. But by the metrics of most educated, professional women, I’m a big fat loser for any number of reasons. And, relative to their metrics, I guess they’re right. But it’s not their responsibility to date me, Jesus.

The issue for me, personally, is I simply don’t meet the metrics of the type of woman I want. But, again, if it was all that important to me to meet those metrics, I would obviously do something to at get a least a little bit closer to meeting them.

And, the really sad thing about all of this is I will never meet the required metrics. I’m too old. Too poor. Never had a career. So, in a sense, barring something pretty spectacular, my dating life is over for good.

I do know, however, that I’m a decent man who would treat any woman in my life well. Alas, no one will ever know.

America As Fourth Reich

by Shelt Garner

The United States is now a successor state to Nazi Germany. I say this because if it’s this much of a struggle to convenience a very passionate and organized 38% of the population that it’s a bad idea to re-election Trump, then, well, it’s over. The bad guys have won.

For the last five years, since Trump came down the escalator to announce his candidacy, I have been ranting about how Trump is an “existential threat to the Republic.” Well, I was right. The Republic is dead. No meme that Twitter liberals thought up “destroyed” House Trump. The courts never came to our rescue. In fact, no one came to our rescue. We really should just rename the United States, “Trumplandia.”

The thing about fascism is form follows function. So, it’s not some big mystery how everything will shake out in the end. And just because Ivanka is Jewish, I wouldn’t hold your breath about MAGA not turning its sights on Jewish people. They have already done this here and there and Trump’s not going to live forever. It could very well be that my calling America the Fourth Reich is nowhere near the hyperbole you might think right now.

One way or another, because autocrats never lose, Trump will “win” re-election. The, only because he’s a very incompetent fascist, a series of easy-to-predict events will happen that will allow House Trump to consolidate power. There will be a Constitutional Convention at some point soon after Trump steals the 2020 Election and American Enabling Acts will be passed because, lulz, Republicans’ abstract fears of Godless progressives destroying the sanctity of marriage is stronger than they’re willingness to defend liberty.

Really, at this point, the issue is how broad the sweep will be by ICE / PACT when they start snatching people off the street and putting them in camps across the country. Will it be a few thousand notable NeverTrumpers and former Obama Administration officials, or a far broader and deeper dragnet. This will most likely happen just after Trump has gotten German Industrialists to purge the free press. How are people going to get upset about it if they don’t know about it to begin with?

Before you say I’m being delusional or one of those libtards who thinks “Orange Man Bad,” let me point out that every night on FOX News the implications is that “someone needs to go to jail” the “spying” on the Trump campaign in 2016. (Also, if you are reading this and thinking I’m just saying “Orange Man Bad” please fuck off you shithead piece of shit.)

Anyway, I say all of this because I feel Twitter liberals are delusional. Twitter is not real life. Most people have only the vaguest notion of the political world. As long as they can raise their kids and pay their mortgage, they’re happy. And, really, they are likely not even to notice the abrupt change of evening news anchors or late night talk show hosts. “Who has time for politics?” is what they will think.

The only way they might finally, finally notice the new political clusterfuck hellscape they live in is if it gets personal. If they make a previously innocuous crack online and find themselves in the back of a van on their way to be tortured or murdered. Then they might fucking have some time for politics.

This is an existential issue and as such, it comes from existential problems in the United States. Really, I would say the seeds of America’s destruction were sown at the end of WW2. The Baby Boomers were such a huge demographic group that it was inevitable that as they grew older and more conservative that the country would, too. In hindsight, it’s obvious we were going to turn into a fascist state at some point between 2016 and 2024. It’s pure macro demographics.

As such, we have a sold 20 to 40 years of fascism ahead of us. We’re going to leave NATO, ally with Russia and change the Constitution so any pretense of being a liberal democracy will end.

This is our new normal. There may be a little bit of a pause in this immutable march towards fascism should Trump go completely bonkers at just the wrong time in the next few months, but that’s just a liberal fever dream. Trump will steal the election and then be succeeded by a series of strong men and or House Trump members.

At some point, about 40 years from, there might be a window of opportunity for some new country to pop out of the fascist goo the United States has become, but even that is debatable.

I don’t have any happy ending for you. Goodnight and good luck.

After Two Years Of Development I May Have Figured How To Structure My Novel

by Shelt Garner

Right now, my only concern is it’s taking me about a week to finish a chapter, which is way, way, way too slow. I need to triple that to get this done before Trump’s third term.

But at least I have figured out how *I* structure the development of the novel associated with actually writing the novel. Things are moving fast in that respect, at least. I have the ebb and flow of writing down pat.

Yet, of course, there is still the issue of speed. I understand how to be methodical with my writing — I’m not running of my passionate hatred of the Trump Administration that much anymore. Now, the novel is more like a job I really love.

As I’ve said before, I am in a very unique situation with this novel. This ideal situation isn’t going to last forever and I really need to squeeze every moment out of this opportunity. If I don’t, I’m going to be kicking myself when it’s no longer available.

I think I can speed things up some, maybe. I just really need to stay focused on the overall picture.

So When Will House Trump Start Pushing People Out Windows?

by Shelt Garner

People continue to get pushed out of windows in modern Russia. As it is an absolute law of nature that Trump is going to brazenly steal the 2020 Election, it is inevitable that this is going to happen in the United States as well.

And, really, if it’s this much of a struggle to simply keep the United States a liberal democracy, I think it’s safe to say we’re no longer one. We’re a fascist state and the sooner we admit that to ourselves, the better. We’re beyond the point of no return. The bad guys have won. And, as such, they’re going to push people — like me! — out of windows as soon as they can safely get away with it.

The key thing for House Trump to get away with this type of bullshit is they have to eliminate the free press. Republicans’ tell on being old school fascists is how absolutely they hate the free press. They know that even as ineffectual as it is now, the free press is one of the few things stopping them from, well, pushing people like me out of windows.

So, I would say the process will happen in fits and starts, but it will happen. Soon enough there will be a purge (or destruction) of any media outlet that isn’t, say, OANN, and the whole pushing people out of windows thing will begin in earnest. I’m thinking no later than the 2022-2023 timeframe.

The United States has a shit tone of people that MAGA things should be pushed out of windows. So once the free press is dead, they may simply start snatching people off the street en mass. MAGA will embrace this. Once there’s no press to hold House Trump accountable, they’ll have free reign to use ICE or PACT to snatch people and hold them indefinitely in an ICE Camp. The infrastructure is in place, waiting to be turned on.

Probably what will happen is the snatching will happen first and only gradually will House Trump graduate to pushing people out of windows. Because, lulz, MAGA is giddy with excitement for authoritarian rule, one issue we have to ponder is what happens to the Democrat Party as a whole. It’s possible that there may be a purge of Congress at some point by ICE or PACT and we’ll be, at least on the Federal level, a one party state.

Or something like that.

This is a our future now. This is an absolute certainty.

The only addendum I might add to that absolute sure prediction is Trump is such a self-own artist that he might delay the inevitable just a tiny bit. But even that seems like a liberal fever dream at this point.

Darkness has fallen. We’re a fascist state and really it’s going to be kind of sad when all the Twitter liberals who spend so much time scoring points against House Trump on social media at last realize that Twitter is not real life and the bad guys are in control.

Something really shocking will have to happen for this not to happen. Nothing happen with impeachment that was unexpected, so there’s no reason to assume there’s any hope in avoiding people being snatched off the street or pushed out a window in Trump’s America.

Countdown To American Fascism: Electoral College Meltdown

by Shelt Garner

As I understand it, there are a series of times from the moment the popular vote is counted until the Electoral College actual votes where the vote has to be certified. I think individual State legislatures do it and then Pence does it as the President of the Senate.

One of the major talking points of fucking fascist shitheat MAGA assholes is that the United States is a “constitutional republic” and not a democracy. They make this point because they’re fucking fascists and don’t believe in democracy in the first place unless it facilitates them gaining and keeping power. Otherwise, fuck you.

Now, before I continue, let me remind you that autocrats always win. Always. They never fucking lose. So, I have accepted that Trump is going to have a second term one way or another. It is now an absolute equal to gravity and the speed of light — Trump is going to “win” a second term and soon enough people are going to be pushed out of windows in America like they are in Russia. That I may be one of those people in the end doesn’t make me feel very good.

But let’s suppose for a little while there is some debate as to Trump’s inevitable status as “winner.” This is where all that fucking shithead MAGA talk about us being a “constitutional republic” comes into play. All they care about is Trump winning. That’s it. Nothing else matters. As such, they’re going to do everything in their power to make sure he stays in power, even if it means destroying the political system of the country they claim to want to “make great again.”

So, I could see a few repeats of the Brooks Brothers Riot of 2000. I could see rolling political violence between election night and when Trump is sworn in. I could see states with Republican legislatures simply refusing to certify the vote at the behest of Trump. All of this would smash into the MAGA dominated Federal judiciary where — surprise! — Trump wins. It happened in 2000 and it’s going to happen in 2020, should it come to that. It will be a five-four vote and Trump is sworn in and fuck you, libtards.

If things got really dicey for Trump, I could see him pressuring individual Electors on Twitter, or doxing them or telling MAGA people to “show them the power of the 2nd Amendment.” Or, if Trump hasn’t already indicted Biden as his “October Surprise,” I could see him doing it AFTER the election as a way to fuck with the Electoral College and or negotiate his own pardon should, somehow, we manage to frogwalk him out of the Oval Office on January 20th.

The issue is, in the end, because Trump is a fucking fascist, he will come out on top. Then all of our nightmares will come true and, well, that’s it. In fact, the only possible thing that MIGHT happen to stop this political hellscape from happening is, well, Trump being Trump.

While Trump has some astonishing macro political trends in his favor, he, himself is still a fucking moron. He’s not a political genius as The New York Times‘ Maggie Haberman would coo that he is. He’s just a fucking idiot. What’s more, he’s a fucking idiot with history of repeated self-owns.

So, in the end, any chance we have of having a little bit of a breather before Tom Cotton or Mike Pompeo finally smother Lady Liberty will come because Trump, personally, screws up in some fucking massive way.

But there’s no assurance one way or another that this will happen — if ever. And probably what would happen is his personal screw up would be such a massive human tragedy that no one in particular will gain from it. We’ll just be rid of Trump for a little while until Ivanka or Don Jr have to battle Cotton and Pompeo for the House Trump crown.

Evangelicals Support Trump Because They Think He’s The Anti-Christ

by Shelt Garner

As you may know, American Evangelicals have an ABSOLUTE support for the state of Israel. Their support is so absolute that there’s only one thing to compare it to — their support of Donald Trump.

I see a lot of Twitter liberals think out loud about how it’s possible that 38% of the electorate could continue to support a fucking fascist misogynistic racist moronic libertine like Donald Trump. You think up all the complicated reasons you want, but when it comes to Evangelicals the answer is pretty simple: they support Trump because they think he’s the anti-Christ and, as such, will hasten the return of Jesus.

This is not something that the average Christian is likely to agree is real. They’ll bob and weave, or deflect or start talking in abstract terms about Godless progressives and their attack on the sanctity of marriage. And it’s likely that the Evangelical leaders don’t even have to at any point say any of this out loud — the Bible, in their mind, speaks for itself.

If you work on the assumption this is the case, then everything makes sense. It’s not that Evangelicals support Trump DESPITE what’s wrong with him on a personal level, they support him BECAUSE of what’s wrong with him on a personal level.

Now, I have to admit it does get comical when you call your average Christian on this. Usually what happens is they let slip something about the anti-Christ (usually suggesting they can’t vote for Biden because he’s the anti-Christ.) With just a moment’s thought, however, a secular humanist can turn the tables on such a Christian by asking a simple question, “Don’t you HAVE to have an anti-Christ for Jesus to return? Wouldn’t it make sense to vote FOR Biden if you thought he was the anti-Christ?”

Before you and point out that Trump sure does fit the definition of the anti-Christ better than Biden, suddenly your Christian interlocutor has to go somewhere, or they get really upset or they wave their hands and say everything is political and trail off into a murmur.

The point is — Christians, even the ones who really know scripture well — are only willing to entertain the idea of the anti-Christ on a political level if it means not voting for Joe Biden. But, of course, instead of a lot of rhetorical gymnastics, there’s a much simple explanation — TRUMP is the anti-Christ and that’s WHY they support him.

Anyway, it probably won’t matter since once House Trump consolidates power we’ll all be forced to worship at a Qanon Church.

Logically, Trump Would Pick Ivanka As His Second Term Veep

by Shelt Garner

Well, I guess Trump isn’t the political genius Maggie Haberman keeps cooing about because if we’re not hearing any chatter about Ivanka replacing Pence as his second term Veep by this point, I guess it’s not going to happen.

I say this because, lulz, Trump can’t keep a secret. If he was even thinking about doing something as logical as using Ivanka to court the sweet, sweet votes of women in the exerbs of swing states, it would have happened by now. The reason why Ivanka is better than Nikki Haley is, duh, she’s a Trump. Haley has sold her soul in hopes of either replacing Pence or being Trump’s direct successor.

But if Trump DID decide to replace Pence, I just don’t see Haley being it.

Ivanka is, at least, a “threefer.”

She’s a woman.
She’s Jewish.
She’s a Trump
(And she’s considered more moderate than her father.)

What better way to throw everything up in the air than to name the only moderate that the base will accept — Ivanka Trump?

But unless Trump simply randomly decides to do as I suggest because he’s nuts, it doesn’t look like Pence has anything to worry about.

The Cultural Heatsink That Is Taylor Swift’s Album ‘Cardigan’

by Shelt Garner

Where to begin on this one. Taylor Swift is an excellent lyricist and among the most influential performers of her generation. And, yet, her latest album seems to be fan service.

There was all this buzz among the faithful, but I haven’t seen any buzz about it beyond that. I had to go out of my way to listen to it on Spotify. What I’ve heard of it so far is pretty good. Nothing unexpected. Pretty much what you would expect from someone like Taylor Swift at this point in her career.

It makes you wonder what this means. It seems like the lack of buzz for the album says more about the modern state of pop culture than it does her. And, really, what I might be noticing is she didn’t drop a video for any of the songs. Typically, a video would get some press over and above what one might expect from the usual Taylor Swift places.

I have to note that Taylor Swift sent Cara Delevingne and Kaia Gerber a two person cardigan to wear in honor of the album’s release. What the what? It’s surreal that no one has pointed out the obvious implications of this. Sounds a lot like if there is a romantic relationship between Ms. Delevingne and Ms. Gerber it’s obviously well known enough that Swift sent the two women such a gift. And, again, maybe I’m drawing a conclusion that isn’t supported by the facts. I’m more than willing to admit that possibility. But, let’s be honest, folks. Is it really credible to believe that someone like Ms. Delevingne would shoot a platonic selfie with a catch like Ms. Gerber? REALLY? In a two person cardigan of all things? REALLY?

Anyway. No one listens to me and they probably shouldn’t.

Back to Swift. I still wish she would assemble a female super group and go straight rock with it. But apparently, rock is dead and gone, never to return. Lulz?

DPRK & The American Mad King (A Scenario)

by Shelt Garner

It’s demonstrable that the president of the United States is just barely hanging on to his sanity. Trump is very unstable and erratic, especially on Twitter which is apparently a direct link to his Id. But, to date, he’s managed to keep it together enough that nothing TOO dangerous has happened.

Now that we’re in August — which is a pretty shitty month for news — let’s think up a scenario whereby Trump’s craziness goes from malevolent uncle to destroyer of worlds.

There are many, many scenarios one can think up. But the one that is the easiest to plot out is something to do with North Korea. It’s generally believed that only a crazy person would poke that particular bear unless their was an absolute reason to do so.

To date, Trump’s bonkers behavior has gone the exact opposite direction — he’s be a real suck up to the worst tyrant on the planet. And, in a sense, that’s been for the best. At least we’re not worried about a limited nuclear exhange.

But, let do that now.

The thing about this scenario is it could happen at any point while Trump is president. It could happen today, it could happen two years into Trump’s stolen second term. It’s not like history gives a shit about anyone’s particular political agenda. There’s a reason why they say, “Death be not proud.”

Anyway, for the purposes of this scenario, this happens sooner rather than later. Like August 2020. What prompts Trump finally losing his mind is his absolute need to win re-election smashes into his realization that while he is obviously going to successfully steal the election, it’s going to involve a lot of work and he’s lazy.

So, let’s say he REALLY snaps and he turns his eyes to the DPRK.

The first thing that would happen is we wouldn’t know it had happened. Trump’s been so unstable for so long that the America media works pretty hard to hide it from the public. So, it’s likely if he really did snap and started to see war with the DPRK as an easy way to win re-election “fair and square” we would think he was “joking.”

If something happened and Trump felt offended by Little Rocket Man, he might start to rant about the need to whip the DPRK off the planet. Or he would pull out all American civilians associated with AFK, which would seriously spook the North Koreans.

Once he actually started to do something demonstrable like that, people would sit up and take notice. This wouldn’t be “joking,” this would be serious. The major miscalculation Trump would make — because he’s stupid — is he would see a bloody three month war with the DPRK as simply something he had to do to win re-election.

What he wouldn’t think about is the DPRK, if it felt it had an existential threat on its hands, would likely shoot off a few ICBMs with H-bombs on them our way. And I have no confidence in the DPRK’s guidance equipment. Just because it’s supposed to hit, say, DC, doesn’t mean it won’t veer off course and hit, say, gulp, Richmond.

Anyway, the point is, Trump screwing up a war with the DPRK and being blamed for it is pretty much the only way I can possibly see Trump ever leaving office for any reason.

Trump Is Playing With Fire With The Bogus Durham Investigation

by Shelt Garner

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Trump was supposed to lose the popular vote and win the Electoral College just like in 2016. Just after his acquittal by callow Senate Republicans he was giving a very loud standing ovation by these same Republicans in a private meeting.

Trump knew all he had to do was absolutely placate the MAGA base and the rest would take care of itself.

Then COVID19 happened.

Now things are a bit more tricky. Trump’s natural inculcation is to use the bullshit Durham Investigation into the origins of the TrumpRussia investigation to indict Joe Biden and be done with it. He would kill two birds with one stone — he would “prove” that TrumpRussia was a “hoax” and he would knock out Biden so he easily wins re-election.

I am fully prepared to state that this may still work. In fact, it will work. If we’ve gotten this far down the road to tyranny, then something as simple as brazenly indicting Joe Biden for political gain is a lulz. All they have to do is indict Biden a just the right moment so there’s some confusion about it all as people go to the polls. By the time everything gets straightened out, Trump will be ranting about the need for a Constitutional Convention and MAGA will simply dismiss people people’s rage at what happened as the usual “Orange Man Bad” liberals being “triggered.”

As an aside, I think we might be willing to think outside the box a little bit — what if Durham waits until AFTER the election to indict Biden and the whole thing is used as a negotiating tactic to make sure TRUMP isn’t indicted after he leaves office? The only reason why I’m not prepared to accept this as a possibility is Trump is a fucking moron and his actual personal political skill is little more than a grunt.

Anyway, there is a least a tiny chance that while indicting Biden as the “October Surprise” gets the job done, it might also be something so outrageous and on the nose that even people who otherwise “don’t have time for politics” might, at last sit up and take notice. It’s not likely, but it’s possible — I mean, if you’re cool with “tender care facilities” what’s a little election theft between fascists?

But it is possible that some pretty unexpected things might happen if Trump gets too greedy and indicts Biden directly. If he was smart — which he is not — he would get really close to Biden, but not indict Biden himself. But MAGA people are so absolute in their bloodlust when it comes to the Durham Investigation that I could totally see them lulzing this and making a significant strategic error.

I’m not prepared to get my hopes up, though. More likely than not, the country is simply too divided. And, if anything, history books will count the indictment of Biden as the moment the United States, for intents and purposes, finally became a fascist state.

I keep trying to come up with solutions or what people can do on a practical level to combat this, but I guess I’m not smart enough. Everything I can think of involves getting at least 3.5% of the population to participate in mass protests and general strikes.

The United States simply has no political history of something so big — we’re not France, after all, so lulz.