Category: Trumplandia

By Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I don’t know anything and no one should listen to me. Having said that, for my own benefit, here are some thoughts about the issues facing AOC. It seems to me that given how brutal modern American politics is that it’s inevitable that some Right-wing nimrod is going to try to smoke her out about her romantic status out of spite, if nothing else.

The only reason why I call AOC “Sexy Sadie” is an effort to, in my own little way, goad her into taking an offensive stance against her haters who are going to strike her at her weak spot — her romantic status.

I say this as someone who is extremely empathetic to her political views. I am well aware that at this point even thinking about her romantic status is considered “sexist” by Leftists, but she is quickly becoming as much a celebrity as a political leader and it’s excruciatingly obvious that at some point she’s going to be forced to bank right to the center of the spectrum. As such, at some point moderate house wives in the midwest are going to look at their husbands over the dinner table and say, “Honey, do you know if that Hispanic girl has a boyfriend?”

So, the issue is — while I know her romantic status is besides the point, if she wants to have a decades-long career, she needs to get ahead of the curve and at least have a ready answer to that question other than, “None of your business.”

Anyway, it will be interesting to see what happens going forward.

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Some thoughts.

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Obvious: Sexy Sandy
Trump is such a fucking misogynist and such a base human being that something like “Sexy Sandy” would see pretty obvious for him. The thing about Trump is he is — apparently — completely obvious to how he helps people’s careers by simply mentioning them, so it seems pretty inevitable that he’ll go after AOC in a direct way sooner rather than later.
Dumb: Silly Sandy
This is dumb, but because it’s dumb it seems like something Trump would come up with. But Sexy Sandy seems like a two-fer for him: he gets to deride her having been called Sandy at one point in her life and he gets to remind his base not to take her seriously because….she’s hot?
Weirdly Pop Music Aware: Sexy Sadie
I really don’t expect this one, but Trump’s of the right age to make a Beatles reference without realizing it and making AOC much, much, much more popular with a single tweet.

While it would be cool, really cool, if Trump and AOC went at it on Twitter for a few hours in 2019…I think it’s just a liberal fever dream at this point. I doubt seriously anything like that would happen. Right? Right?

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Again, let me be completely clear — I only keep writing about this because it’s fun-interesting and, given how dire the national news is right now, it’s nice, for once, to have a completely ridiculous story that makes me smile instead of want to walk off into the nears river, never to be seen again.

So, having said that, let’s continue to look into the no-win situation that the lovely and talented Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez finds herself in when it comes to some pretty basic things about her life and who she is. As an aside, I just noticed that the top autocomplete for AOC on Google is a search for bikini pictures of her, so it’s not quite as “sad” as Blue Check Liberals might have to believe for the average person to be interested in such stuff.

This, of course, leads into the general issues that I want to talk about. First, there have to be pictures of AOC in a bikini, somewhere. Unless she had the foresight to contact everyone she’s known the last decade and purge all photographic evidence of her being in a bikini out of existence, such pictures exist and they’re going to come out.

Furthermore, the more she draws attention to herself and the more the Right has a big old boner for her, it’s not going to take much mental energy for the insane Right, which is both physically attracted to her and repulsed by her policy views to go from, “I’d date that girl,” to…”Wait, who IS she dating?”

Now, let’s address all of this. The internal logic of the Right is something along these lines: “Because THEY will take her less seriously if they’re bikini pictures of her, then of course EVERYONE will take her less seriously if there are bikini pictures of her.”

And, so, they set themselves up to be self-owned AGAIN. Yes, whenever such pictures come out there will be a national debate on female politicians, a gross double standard and the changing nature of women in American society. But after things calm down a little bit, the center-Left will make fun of the Right for obviously lusting after AOC and the center-Right will believe they’ve finally proven that AOC is just “Sandy” from the block and as such shouldn’t be, in anyway, taken seriously or heard from again.

I, for one, believe barring something really, really unexpected, we’re going to hear a lot from AOC over the next 20 years and beyond.

Now, we come to a very delicate situation that I like to think of as “The Mr. Big Factor.” It goes something like this — as AOC profile increases and we learn one way or another if she’s dating anyone or not (I mean, is she? Is this common knowledge and I don’t know about it? That’s possible. I just checked her Wiki profile and….nada. No mention of a boyfriend.) there’s a good chance things could get a little surreal.

If she’s NOT dating anyone right now, then a lot of “Mr. Bigs” will see her as the ultimate arm candy and begin to swarm her. And, here’s where it gets surreal — a lot of them could be extremely conservative older middle-age men who completely disagree with her political views.

Then is when we’ll know if she’s The Real Thing or not. If she manages to curve their advances and find, say, someone like Sen. Cory Booker of New Jersey as her date to major events, then we’ll know she’s in it to win it. But if she turns around and dates some asshole MAGA Wall Street jerkoff, then, well, there’s that.

The point of all of this is — she needs to get ahead of this. That’s all I’m saying. That’s the only advice I might give her. She’s doing a great job otherwise and I’m beginning to enjoy her policy views. Shrug. It’s not really my place one way or another, but I do hope her the best and it seems as though only by addressing the issues that I have set forth now on a proactive basis instead of waiting for some incel to try to do a gotcha on her that things will work out for the best long-term.

But what do I know, I lead a “sad” life for even talking about all of this in the first place.