Benjamin Wittes has a “baby cannon” he shoots whenever there’s some big news in the whole Trump Russia imbroglio. So, with that in mind, here are some lyrics to a “woke” pop-rock song about it. As usual, this is just a first draft and I don’t really have a beat so, it’s more of a poem intended to, at some point, to be sung.
Mr. Wittes’ Baby Cannon
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform
it may be very small
but it has a powerful shot
tells us when the next revelation has arrived
whenever it goes boom
you know Trump is rushing around the room
not knowing what to do
Mr. Wittes’ baby cannon
tells you the time of day
Mr. Wittes’ baby cannon
it’s time for the Post or Times
to drop some news into our lap
and that’s a fact
what will it be today
all we know is there is a drip, drip, drip
that needs to be released in a powerful way
each day seems as though we’re going to be blown away
Mr. Wittes’ baby cannon let’s us know
we’re growing closer to the truth
soon enough it will go boom with one last gasp
we’re not going to have to wait long
soon enough the cannon will be all grown up
and Trump will feel the cannon’s roar in his rump
but until that day
we have to feel the pain of Trump’s reign
Mr. Wittes’ baby cannon
tells you the time of day
Mr. Wittes’ baby cannon
it’s time for the Post or Times
to drop some news into our lap
and that’s a fact
[bridge]
one day this cannon will go off
for the very last time
history will turn on a dime
return us back to when things were fine
until then we wait
debate the meaning of it all
trying to figure out
where these cannon balls will fall
I would try to tell you
but I don’t have the gaul
Mr. Wittes’ baby cannon
tells you the time of day
Mr. Wittes’ baby cannon
it’s time for the Post or Times
to drop some news into our lap
and that’s a fact
