‘Brooklyn Bridge’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Rock Song

With this one, I’m trying to tell the story of the time I was walking from Brooklyn to Manhattan on the Brooklyn bridge and something somewhat amusing — at least to me — happened. This would be a fun dancable pop rock song like Pulp’s Common People.

Brooklyn Bridge
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

with Brooklyn behind me
what I should appear
but something I hold so dear
a sexy minx walking towards me
with Manhattan in the distance
she got me hot and bothered I’ll admit
we locked eyes and for a bit
I thought she would smile my way
mid-way on

Brooklyn Bridge
where dreams come true
Brooklyn Bridge
don’t look down
Brooklyn Bridge
Brooklyn Bridge
Brooklyn Bridge

as I got closer I was ready
ready to smell her perfume
I imagined it was high class
just like her
she might exchange a word
I hoped as I prepared for the event
two ships passing in broad day light
on

Brooklyn Bridge
where dreams come true
Brooklyn Bridge
don’t look down
Brooklyn Bridge
Brooklyn Bridge
Brooklyn Bridge

[bridge]
don’t get too excite
things can change
turn pretty lame
quicker than a heartbeat
you just want to flee
on

Brooklyn Bridge
Brooklyn Bridge
Brooklyn Bridge

before we could meet
she turned away from me
with a shock
she soon clocked out
finding a way
to avoid our date with fate
she looked at me sly
but all I could do was laugh
at her misguided sass
on

Brooklyn Bridge
Brooklyn Bridge
Brooklyn Bridge

‘Woke Bill Kristol’ — #Lyrics To A Punk Song

These are just a silly lyrics I’ve written so I don’t do anything else that might be considered productive.

Woke Bill Kristol
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

woke Bill Kristol
he’s here to break it down
woke Bill Kristol
hasn’t sold his soul to Trump
he’s ready to rock
breaking it down for the masses
don’t get confused he on a short fuse
woke Bill Kristol
he’s able to defend his views
from all you fools

may have been an neo-con when it was cool
now he’s woke as can be
talks about MeToo on TV
making my eyes bug out with his positive views
what has happened to the rules

woke Bill Kristol
woke Bill Kristol
woke Bill Kristol

[bridge]
don’t sleep on the truth
get woke real quick
woke Bill Kristol is waiting
for you, you fool

we’re all in trouble
that no one can deny
Trump’s in town
wreaking havoc in the land
when will it all end
I don’t know
but keep an eye on woke Bill Kristol
he’s putting on a show

‘Not My Type’ — #Lyrics To A Pop-Country Song

There’s a purity to writing song lyrics simply for the joy of telling a story in verse. At least, that’s the mindset behind me writing lyrics today. I should be working on my novel, but I can’t quite bring myself to get into the frame of mind yet. So, I’m relaxing by writing song lyrics. These lyrics would go to a slow country music song where the lyrics are clearly understandable. This is written from a woman’s point of view about the effects of a bad break up.

Not My Type
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

see a smile from a mile away
but it’s not going to sway
I’ve been here before
but I don’t mean to bore
struggling to figure it all out
what it means without a doubt

you seem kind
maybe even divine
we could settle down
start a little family
but I can tell right away
much to my dismay

you’re not my type
you’re not my type
you’re not my type
and that ain’t right

you’ve got hair
place on your head by God on a dare
a stare that leaves me weak
when are we going to meet
I ask myself every time I see on the street
my imagination runs while
but after a while
I understand how it’s going to end
with me saying under my breath

you’re not my type
you’re not my type
you’re not my type
and that ain’t right

[bridge]
when I think back
at the hurt
I wonder how it’ll all end
will I get over him
or will I just wallow in my sin

one more time
one more time for the road
I’ll wait by my house
knowing you’ll never arrive
you’re just a memory
too good for me

‘Incel’ — #Lyrics To A Rock Song

I find the whole notion of the “incel” to be completely ridiculous. It’s just dumb and an excuse that misogynistic assholes wrap themselves up in to avoid their own responsibilities. Anyway, I’m in a lyric writing mood, so here you go. These lyrics would go to a hard rock beat like something you might find with Limp Bizkit. Absolutely no one cares about anything I write lyric wise, so this is just me relaxing before I settle in to work on my novel.

Incel
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

can’t get laid
so who’s to blame
yo, not me
how could that be
I’m the master of my fate
while I sit here and masturbate
look around all I see is hotties
none of them are for me
that’s why they call me

incel (x6)

girls walk on by
and lie
tell me I’m not their kind of guy
when I know the truth
who wouldn’t want to knock boots
with someone as fly as me
I’m everyone’s kind of guy
I sigh while I stroke my AR-15
I’ll show you all one day
you’ll look back and say

incel (x6)

[bridge]
girls come and go
but don’t you know
I know one day I’ll get my way
if I don’t
there will be a price to pay

when they think of me
they’ll know I’m great
doesn’t matter that it’s all in my mind
I know the plan
just wait and see
one day you’re all going to be

incel (x6)

‘D.C. Shuffle’ — #Lyrics To A Woke R&B Song

I love me some Prince and I have the whole bonkers Shera Bechard — Elliot Broidy — Donald Trump issue on the brain, so these lyrics are me trying to tell that potential story in verse. I don’t really have any beat to go with these lyrics, but it would be a fast Prince song like in my imagination.

D.C. Shuffle
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

she fell in love with a powerful man
who told her he had the fate of the world
the fate of the world in his hands
they met in L.A. as you do
they were dancing with the bunnies
who had sin in their hearts and in their eyes
before the night was over he was between her thighs
they were doing the

D.C. shuffle
the D.C. shuffle
you know it by heart
once you get a taste of power
the D.C. shuffle is your thing
the D.C. shuffle will make you sing

she told soon enough she was in trouble tough
needed his help ’cause she her finances were rough
he told her not to worry as long as she kept her mouth shut
brought in a buddy who was willing to take the fall
before you know it they were dancing
dancing the the beat of the K Street beat
they were doing, doing the

D.C. shuffle
the D.C. shuffle
you know it by heart
once you get a taste of power
the D.C. shuffle is your thing
the D.C. shuffle will make you sing

[bridge]
now don’t get confuse
she’s doing just fine
got $1.6 million smiles
will the truth come out?
who knows

so the next time you see her
the next time she passes you by
know she’s doing great
’cause of her touch with fate
she got all she wanted and more
doing the

D.C. shuffle
the D.C. shuffle
you know it by heart
once you get a taste of power
the D.C. shuffle is your thing
the D.C. shuffle will make you sing

‘Blame Game’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Pop-Rock Rap Song

I’m just screwing around. No one cares about any of these lyrics I’m writing, but it’s relaxing. This would be a uptempo rap song that would be pop enough that it might get radio airplay. I’m thinking this would be something a modern day equivalent of Public Enemy might sing. But, like I said, this is just me screwing around.

Blame Game
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

our children are dying high school halls
the powers that be
want me to believe thoughts and prayers
will solve the issue
when I demand more from them
they play the blame game

they blame
abortion
doors
Ritalin
the media
and a
culture of violence
but when they play this game
they won’t blame
guns
guns
guns
guns

when will thing change I wanna know
I don’t mean to be crass but
when will they stop blowing smoke my up my ass
we’re all going to have to stop the debate
start thinking of ways to fix the blame game
we need to act in some way
because this blame game is getting pretty lame

they blame
abortion
doors
Ritalin
the media
and a
culture of violence
but when they play this game
they won’t blame
guns
guns
guns
guns

[bridge]
just give me facts
let’s fix this issue
with action that works
stop sending me your thoughts and prayers
I have no fear

we’re going to take great care
to demand the change that is clear
but it won’t be easy to come by
when the NRA is in our way day and night
let’s stop giving thoughts and prayers
we need the strength to make things right
stop playing the blame game
stop playing the blame game
stop playing the blame game

’13 Angry And Conflicted Democrats’ — #Lyrics To Woke Pop Country Song

It used to be, there was a significant subset of country music which can only be described as “hippie redneck.” They talked about gun control and smoking pot a lot. That, alas, is long gone. But these lyrics would harken back to those days. At least, that’s my goal.

13 Angry And Conflicted Democrats
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

our president’s lost his mind
it seems kind of sad I have to admit
time doesn’t seem to be on his side
one of these days thing will come around
he keeps ranting about Mueller
when he should just stay quiet

13 angry and conflicted Democrats
they may be our only savior I’m afraid
13 angry and conflicted Democrats
Mr. Mueller knows what he’s doing
13 angry and conflicted Democrats
they’re just doing their job like me and you

the president thinks everyone is out to get him
it’s sad, I know
but if he hasn’t done anything wrong
why does he act so guilty that’s a fact I want
but he just tweets up a storm
yelling into the sky hoping something will change

13 angry and conflicted Democrats
they may be our only savior I’m afraid
13 angry and conflicted Democrats
Mr. Mueller knows what he’s doing
13 angry and conflicted Democrats
they’re just doing their job like me and you

[bridge]
when will this all end
I say over yet another drink
when will Trump leave the Oval Office
that’s what I want to know

we’re stuck with Trump
at least for a little bit longer
it’s sad to say
when will he go, go, go
that’s all I ask
wish he was already gone
don’t you?

‘Call The Cops’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Rap Song

This spawns from my irritation that we seem to be calling the cops on black people left and right while the biggest crook — Donald Trump — is attacking the FBI with various dumb conspiracy theories. I have no beats and even if I did, I don’t have the software to use it or a vocalist. But that’s not the point, this point is to simply relax by being creative.

Call The Cops
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

black and breathing
(call the cops)
go to a Starbucks and sit
(call the cops)
got a hoodie and Skittles
(call the cops)
but you be president and a crook
and what
and what
and what

we got a crook in the White House
(call the cops)
he wants to reverse the black man’s legacy
(call the cops)
he sits on his ass and tweets all day
can’t even spell Melania right
(call the cops)
white people running all around
telling us what’s wrong with the black man
(call the cops)
but they can’t get their own house in order
(call the cops)
the president is a racist pig
but they doesn’t bother them one bit
as long as they keep the black and brown man down
don’t get me started out the sisters
they get the worst of it
fuck

black and breathing
(call the cops)
go to a Starbucks and sit
(call the cops)
got a hoodie and Skittles
(call the cops)
but you be president and a crook
and what
and what
and what

[bridge]
when will we get some truth
instead of these lies
who do I call for some relief
from the racist pig that’s our president

we’re all going to have to fight
pour into the streets
maybe we can be free from this misery
the cops will one day do their job
arrest Donald J. Trump
for all his crimes and lies

call the cops
call the cops
call the cops
call the cops

‘Wide Open’ — #Lyrics To An Old School Rap Song

These lyrics would go to an old school rap beat. I don’t have a beat, but the general vibe would be like the type one might find in Bust A Move. That’s the vision, at least. This song is about a hot chick who’s out there and the adventures she takes a guy on.

Wide Open
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

let’s get into it

she’s the type of girl
you think is sweet and coy
but once you get her into bed
you realize it was all a lie
she’s ready to rock around the clock
leaving you in shock
don’t worry though this too will pass
though you’re going to have to relax
if you want to keep up with her sass

she’s wide open
I tell you
she’s wide open
I tell you
she’s wide open

meet her for a drink
she gets drunk and next thing you know
clothes are coming off and she’s poppin out
you panic don’t know what it’s all about
there’s nothing you can do
she’s determined to show some ass
leaving you wondering where she left her class

she’s wide open
I tell you
she’s wide open
I tell you
she’s wide open

[bridge]
we all know girls like her
she seems perfect for you
you both like to drink and to talk
but keeping her in check is a no go
you just don’t want to blow it with her
’cause she’s wide open

she’s wild as can be
leaving you not knowing what to do
how to control her is your quest
but she’s got nice tits
so you feel blessed
you take one look at her and smile
realizing you don’t care at all that she’s
wide open
wide open
wide open
wide open

‘Melanie’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Pop-Rock Song

I’m just screwing around. I like telling stories in verse and so you get this. That’s all that’s going on. Nothing more.

Melanie
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

a misspelled named is a little thing
I’ll admit that but I won’t forget
the other mistakes of the past
there you are dogging on a porn star
you all but admit it’s true

do you even love me
do you even love me
or do you love Melanie
or do you love Melanie

you should know better than this
I want to hiss
but don’t forget my regret
how you make me fret over my fate
when will I be replaced
with a younger model
is it just a matter of time

do you even love me
do you even love me
or do you love Melanie
or do you love Melanie

[bridge]
when the time comes
when this is all over
will you even remember my name
or will it just be another shame?

the name’s Melania
have to note
who’s this Melanie bitch
you speak of?