Sick Sad World

by Shelton Bumgarner

It’s just sad that a guy can’t have a celebrity crush anymore without the actual person you have the crush on somehow, someway finding out about it through their social media team (if nothing else) and growing concerned.

Or maybe it’s just that I, specifically, have been writing about someone in what I felt was an obscure corner of the Web. But if anything, I’ve learned there is no “obscure corner of the Web” anymore. Everything you put online is everywhere and nowhere at the same time. So if you’re a middle-aged weirdo who just fancies a celebrity because of their looks and wit, then, well, watch out. People are going to be profiling you left and right.

But whatever. Anyone who is actually, like, paying fucking attention, would realize I’m completely harmless. I may be something of an eccentric, but I don’t feel anything I’ve written online would actually concern anyone. Or maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe what I fear is going on isn’t going on.

Yet I just don’t want to risk it. I don’t want the hassle of a celebrity’s social media team poking back at me, looking at my LinkedIn profile and the like. It definitely puts a chill on things to write about when you’re as bored as I am right now. I really need to get back to work on my novel. I just have to summon up the courage to face my fears when it comes to writing it. That’s kind of tough.

Author: Shelton Bumgarner

I am the Editor & Publisher of The Trumplandia Report

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