by Shelt Garner
First, no one listens to me. Absolutely no one listens to me. So, really, I’m just rambling into the darkness of the aether right now. But while I was in Atlanta on my personal Writer’s Retreat, I saw a sign that said, “Don’t Block The Box.”
I found that phrase catchy and, in the right context, kind of suggestive. Like the female equviolent of “Don’t cockblock me.” There are a few women I could see being interesting such a song — Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry and Ariana Grande being among them.
But, here’s the deal — I would want this song to be more like the songs found on Nelly Furtado’s “Loose” album than the shit we have to listen to now. So, what you might do is something like this:
Start with this song:
I say this because “Kickstart my heart” has the same beat structure as “Don’t block the box.”And, I want this to be a fast pop-rock song. Something you can really dance to. It has a real guitar and real fucking drums.
Then what you do is, update the above song by giving it some modern influence — this song.
So, what I was thinking is — you get Katy Perry to sing the main part of the song, then throw in a rap aspect to the song, maybe like this song:
If you think about it, rock and rap go together far better than rap and the fucking shit of Adult Contemporary. Rap being co-oped by Adult Contemporary is a modern crime against music.
I guess what I’m saying is I want an actual good song that doesn’t insult your musical palet to be produced using the title “Don’t Block The Box.”
I would try to write the lyrics myself but the more I work on the novel the more I realize there’s absolutely no point to do that unless I’m willing to do it right. Writing usable song lyrics is tough and requires at least a basic knowledge of music.
So, I’ve decided just to simply explain the concepts of songs rather than try to write the lyrics. Though I find writing lyrics so relaxing I might do it just for the sheer enjoyment of it.
The finished product, I guess, in my fevered “delusional and stupid” mind would sound like more pop version of this song with a rap aside, while keeping the speed and traditional rock “wall of sound.”