by Shelt Garner
I’m so jaded — and so self-conscious about my status as a nobody — that I’m very suspicious whenever I’m followed by a Twitter account that seems not to be what it purports to be.
Take, for instance an account that followed me recently that is private and yet purports to be the smoking hot Abigail Ratchford. I find the idea that someone like her would follow me, even under the guise of a quasi-burner account, to be quite dubious.
And, really, I’m so extremely jaded at the moment that even if it was her, I would be flattered, but not all that excited. I mean, meh. Like, what’s going to happen? So what. I’m the main character of my life and I don’t need the validation of a celebrity following me on Twitter to stroke my ego.
Anyway, meh. I do wish, however, that something fun-interesting would happen to me sooner rather than later. Usually one big fun-interesting thing happens to me a year. I’m just about over due for such an event to happen.