by Shelt Garner
It’s very possible that, in the end, I self-publish this novel I’ve been working on for a number of years. And, yet, at the moment all I can say is fuck off to all the self-publishing advocates on Tik-Tok who want to bring me down and shit on my dreams of getting traditionally published.
The whole point of this project, from the beginning, has been to see how far I can get before I have to resign myself to self-publishing. I have improved so much as a writer and a storyteller because I have set my expectations so high. I know how difficult it is to get traditionally published but, as I keep saying, no one ever got anywhere by playing it safe.
So, here I am.
The reason why I keep writing about this is I feel insecure. I keep doing a gut check to see if I do, in fact, really want to go the traditional publishing route. And, to date, I continue to believe that I do.
It’s just I keep seeing Tik-Tok after Tik-Tok from self-publishing advocates who want to make me feel like shit for going the traditional route. Ugh. Fuck those guys.
I have found that self-publishing people are extremely touchy. When they’re not shitting on my dream of getting traditionally published, they freak out if you even so much as suggest that that that route is not for you. They seem absolutely convinced that anyone who doesn’t go the self-publishing route is a fool.
Well, as the late Annie Shapiro said of me, I’m a “delusional jerk with a good heart” so maybe I am a fool — but I know my true north and I’m willing to risk failure. But I absolutely believe in myself and, as such, I would at least like to see how far I can get before it hits me that getting traditionally published is out of the question.
I have to admit, of course, that it is rather disheartening when it sinks in that I could be in my mid-50s before I get published — and that’s if I stick the landing. But some of that angst is out of my control. I can’t help that I let my age slip up on me.
I’m 20 to 25 years older than the typical person writing their first novel and Just have to deal with my status as a late bloomer. I can’t go back in time and change when I decided I had something to say to the point that I was willing to throw myself into the process of writing a novel that I wanted to publish traditionally. The whole debate over being self-published or traditionally published gives me a headache.
I know my vision for this project and I’m willing to endure the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune associated with the struggle to get through the gatekeepers.