Silliness: What Will Trump’s Nickname For AOC Be?

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Obvious: Sexy Sandy
Trump is such a fucking misogynist and such a base human being that something like “Sexy Sandy” would see pretty obvious for him. The thing about Trump is he is — apparently — completely obvious to how he helps people’s careers by simply mentioning them, so it seems pretty inevitable that he’ll go after AOC in a direct way sooner rather than later.
Dumb: Silly Sandy
This is dumb, but because it’s dumb it seems like something Trump would come up with. But Sexy Sandy seems like a two-fer for him: he gets to deride her having been called Sandy at one point in her life and he gets to remind his base not to take her seriously because….she’s hot?
Weirdly Pop Music Aware: Sexy Sadie
I really don’t expect this one, but Trump’s of the right age to make a Beatles reference without realizing it and making AOC much, much, much more popular with a single tweet.

While it would be cool, really cool, if Trump and AOC went at it on Twitter for a few hours in 2019…I think it’s just a liberal fever dream at this point. I doubt seriously anything like that would happen. Right? Right?

Trump Endgame: State Of Play

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

It seems to me that a lot of political observers mistake the near-constant state of chaos during the Trump Administration as a sign that THE crisis we’ve all been hoping for and expecting is just around the corner.

I’m of a mixed opinion on that.

My back-of-the-envelope speculation is we’re going to know pretty soon if they’re right or not. Either this all ends by the end of 2019, or the talk about his political demise will simply bleed into the eventual and inevitable discussion about him grooming a younger, more focused protege who will guide his “legacy” for the next four to eight years after 2025.

At this point, I honestly don’t know which direction it’s going.

Right now, I’m tentatively in the latter camp. Trump is the avatar for some pretty significant demographic and economic macro trends in America society and while he’s an incompetent, deranged president, there simply isn’t the political will to unite to get rid of him in any manner other than simply waiting for him to end his second term.

So, what I’m saying is, we’re hurdling towards a point where our desire to get rid of Trump is equal to our inability to unite the political world enough to actually do it. He has a nice economy, a sold 40% of the population is pleased with this performance and, well, there you go.

There’s always the chance that the economy might falter, but there’s also the chance of a major terrorist attack of war that would make Trump a “hero” enough to stick around for as long as he possibly can. Add to this that the Democrats are playing by the “old rules” that are, like, fact based and stuff, while MAGA is playing by the “new rules” that are based on avarice for power.

So, we wait. We wait for Mueller to release his report, Trump to fight its release, it go to SCOTUS…and….I don’t know. It could be blocked 5-4 and we simply suffer for the next six years, or it’s released and…away we go.

But we honestly don’t know what will be in the report or if he’ll even file a formal one.

The point is — unless something jaw dropping happens pretty soon, Trump ain’t goin nowhere.

AOC & The ‘Mr Big’ Factor

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Again, let me be completely clear — I only keep writing about this because it’s fun-interesting and, given how dire the national news is right now, it’s nice, for once, to have a completely ridiculous story that makes me smile instead of want to walk off into the nears river, never to be seen again.

So, having said that, let’s continue to look into the no-win situation that the lovely and talented Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez finds herself in when it comes to some pretty basic things about her life and who she is. As an aside, I just noticed that the top autocomplete for AOC on Google is a search for bikini pictures of her, so it’s not quite as “sad” as Blue Check Liberals might have to believe for the average person to be interested in such stuff.

This, of course, leads into the general issues that I want to talk about. First, there have to be pictures of AOC in a bikini, somewhere. Unless she had the foresight to contact everyone she’s known the last decade and purge all photographic evidence of her being in a bikini out of existence, such pictures exist and they’re going to come out.

Furthermore, the more she draws attention to herself and the more the Right has a big old boner for her, it’s not going to take much mental energy for the insane Right, which is both physically attracted to her and repulsed by her policy views to go from, “I’d date that girl,” to…”Wait, who IS she dating?”

Now, let’s address all of this. The internal logic of the Right is something along these lines: “Because THEY will take her less seriously if they’re bikini pictures of her, then of course EVERYONE will take her less seriously if there are bikini pictures of her.”

And, so, they set themselves up to be self-owned AGAIN. Yes, whenever such pictures come out there will be a national debate on female politicians, a gross double standard and the changing nature of women in American society. But after things calm down a little bit, the center-Left will make fun of the Right for obviously lusting after AOC and the center-Right will believe they’ve finally proven that AOC is just “Sandy” from the block and as such shouldn’t be, in anyway, taken seriously or heard from again.

I, for one, believe barring something really, really unexpected, we’re going to hear a lot from AOC over the next 20 years and beyond.

Now, we come to a very delicate situation that I like to think of as “The Mr. Big Factor.” It goes something like this — as AOC profile increases and we learn one way or another if she’s dating anyone or not (I mean, is she? Is this common knowledge and I don’t know about it? That’s possible. I just checked her Wiki profile and….nada. No mention of a boyfriend.) there’s a good chance things could get a little surreal.

If she’s NOT dating anyone right now, then a lot of “Mr. Bigs” will see her as the ultimate arm candy and begin to swarm her. And, here’s where it gets surreal — a lot of them could be extremely conservative older middle-age men who completely disagree with her political views.

Then is when we’ll know if she’s The Real Thing or not. If she manages to curve their advances and find, say, someone like Sen. Cory Booker of New Jersey as her date to major events, then we’ll know she’s in it to win it. But if she turns around and dates some asshole MAGA Wall Street jerkoff, then, well, there’s that.

The point of all of this is — she needs to get ahead of this. That’s all I’m saying. That’s the only advice I might give her. She’s doing a great job otherwise and I’m beginning to enjoy her policy views. Shrug. It’s not really my place one way or another, but I do hope her the best and it seems as though only by addressing the issues that I have set forth now on a proactive basis instead of waiting for some incel to try to do a gotcha on her that things will work out for the best long-term.

But what do I know, I lead a “sad” life for even talking about all of this in the first place.



This Is Why We Got Trump: AOC’s Romantic Status & Blue Check Twitter Liberalism

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

It appears to me the following is happening: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez presently politically inhabits a nether region where she’s a Leftist darling and a Rightist bugbear. Where the Left sees the future and a strong, intelligent Latina who is the future of the movement, the Right sees an ignorant bimbo Communist that they not-so-secretly collectively lust after.

And then there’s the center.

So, I suspect that soon, very soon, like after the 60 Minutes interview scheduled for tomorrow (Sunday) as I write this, she will be introduced to a much more centrist audience who will see her in a whole different light. They’ll be intrigued that such a young, affable, attractive young woman is also growing into an ideology whose avatars are dusty old people.

As such, the dynamic may change dramatically. Things like her current romantic status, which the Left thinks you’re “sad” for even being interested in in the first place will suddenly be something that a housewife in middle America might honestly and sincerely be interested in on a basic human level.

Now, this brings up something that really, really bugs the shit out of me. Blue Check Liberals on Twitter are the absolute worst when it comes to putting you on blast if you tweet anything to them that doesn’t fit their rigid ideological orthodoxy. So, when it occurred to me yesterday that I did not know an otherwise basic political question, “What is AOC’s relationship status right now?” and I asked that question in a harmless manner, I got piled on by a couple of Blue Check Twitter Liberals who were aghast aghast! that I would even entertain such a question.

I have no idea what is going to happen in the near future, but whenever I find myself getting angry over that little kerfuffle, I console myself by holding out hope that today’s “sad” question, might be tomorrow’s “duh” question.

In other words, AOC can’t stay in the public eye with the intensity that she’s experiencing right now without the question of her relationship status coming up. And if you want to jump down my throat for asking why it matters, my response is being in politics as a woman is a different experience than that for a man and add to the equation that AOC is demonstrably hot, then it’s not QUITE so “sad” to broach the subject of her romantic status.

And if you still are unhappy with me, I would like to observe that it’s self-evident that modern American politics for women isn’t, like rainbows and unicorns and free bleeding, you fucktwit.

In other words — AOC is hot enough that your typical heterosexual dude, regardless of political orientation, would take one look at her and at least entertain the notion of what it would be like to date her.

And, as such, we enter the nebulous realm of gender politics that is so nuanced that if you’re an ideologue at the extreme of either end of the political spectrum, you’re likely to give a rather ham-handed approach.

So, what I’m suggesting is it’s likely that by the end of 2019, my sincere question about her romantic status which Blue Check Twitter Liberals this is so “sad” is going to be extremely mainstream and, I would even go so far to suggest, something of a parlor sport for armchair political observers….that you find on Twitter.

Or maybe not. I am “sad” after all.

V-Log: Idle Rambling About Mattis & A Coming Civil War

By Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Some thoughts.

V-Log: Trump’s ‘New Rules’

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Armchair Observations About The State Of Play Between Ukraine, Russia…And Trump?

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I am no expert on relations between Ukraine and Russia, but I do have an interest in it and a little bit of time on my hands, so here we are. Take it for what it is. Just me rambling in general terms about what’s going on.

The key thing, for me, is the dynamic between Putin and Trump. It would make a huge amount of sense for Putin to do what he’s long been interested in, taking a huge chunk of Ukraine (even bigger than he already has), and do it in a way that would benefit his best bud Trump. Right now, a lot rests with the Ukrainian response. If they simply declare martial law and, well, that’s it, then things will get and stay tense for a while but gradually fade back to where they were before today’s incident.

But if you really wanted to be paranoid, you’d say that Putin will see the declaration of martial law as a provocation in itself and respond accordingly. So, while Putin has historically show a huge amount of caution about any direct attacks against Ukraine, he might see the writing on the wall for Trump and decide he would rather strike now while he has Vichy Trump in power. What’s more, by attacking Ukraine in a big way now, he would likely give Trump the cover he needs to fire Mueller, pardon half a dozen people and tweet up a storm that “now is on the time to worry about witch hunts” as Ukraine and Russia have at it in a big way.

This nightmare scenario works on the pretty big — and potentially erroneous — assumption: that Putin is actually interested in risking his long-term survival in a costly, needless war with Ukraine. It also assumes that Putin’s weighed the global order and sees a huge upside in attacking Ukraine and, say, taking Kiev and attempting to form a puppet state out of a huge chunk of seized Ukrainian territory. The thing is — Putin has shown zero indication that he actually is interested in doing that. He just wants to keep Ukraine off balance and unnerved enough to prevent it from fully uniting with the West. Or, at least, that’s my personal interpretation of things.

If Putin is going to act, it seems logical that he would act almost immediately. Like, tonight. But as best I can tell, he’s not going to do anything and, as I mentioned, it seems like tomorrow will be pretty perfunctory. Ukraine declares martial law, there’s some saber rattling and…nothing happens. And, really, the only reason why I am a little nervous is the connection between Putin and Trump. Like I said, logic would say that Putin will attack now not only because he’s wanted to attack Ukraine in a big way and Trump is likely to look the other way, but a really big war in Ukraine would be just the excuse, the cover, that Trump needs to not only wrap up the Mueller investigation, but have people “rally round the flag.”

At least, that would be the miscalculation that might lead us all down a major war between Ukraine and Russia. Or not. I won’t even go so far as to say “things are in flux.” Given the existential threat to Putin’s regime a long-term occupation of a huge chunk of Ukraine would be, it’s very possible simply nothing will happen. Everything will be on paper and generally we’ll forget about the incident quite quickly.

But who knows. As of this moment, it definitely seems as though there is an outside chance it could go either way.

Watch Me Be Paranoid: Is Putin Stirring Up Trouble With Ukraine To Help Trump?

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

This is really paranoid, but it would make a lot of sense if Putin knowing Mueller is maybe on the cusp of dropping some major indictments in the next few days stirred up a major foreign crisis with Ukraine which would give Trump the cover he needs to fire Mueller and pardon everyone he needs to pardon as we wait for the House to officially flip in January.

Like I said, I’m being really paranoid.

This isn’t possible, is it?

Idle Musing On The ‘Phony War’ Between #Trump & #Mueller In The Context Of Brexit

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Let’s look at the state of the “Phony War” now going on between Trump and Mueller. As I keep saying, given that if the House simply does its job Trump will be impeached in early 2019, it makes a lot of sense for Trump to strike first. Add to this there is a real possibility that the American economy — and that of the globe, for that matter — may face a real shock in the guise of a bungled Brexit in Great Britain and it definitely seems like Trump should leverage the power he has now to do a sneak attack on Mueller.

If I was Trump, I would fire Mueller immediately, pardon about a dozen people and hunker down for an extended fight. If you think about it, Trump has about 2 months to brainwash his base into believing the “which hunt” is over and that the House is totally wasting its time in investigating him at all. At this point, I have to note that anyone who thinks the House shouldn’t investigate Trump because it will only “help” him politically is really living in political la-la land. The dead hand of history has decided Trump’s fate and that fate is he is going to be impeached by the House in early 2019. There’s no going back at this point. It’s nearly a done deal.

As such, it makes pretty obvious sense to me that Trump should go on the offensive now while he has the time. It doesn’t make any sense to wait until the House officially flips to do anything about Mueller. Every moment Trump doesn’t fire Mueller and pardon people is a wasted opportunity for him in the long run. Again, in my view, there’s a real chance that Brexit is going to be completely bungled and as such it would deprive Trump of the one thing he has going for him at this point — a “humming economy.” So it makes even more sense for Trump to be as proactive as possible. Trump has until January to continue to rule as an absolute tyrant and once the new House is sworn in, the jig is up, as they say and he has an completely new political reality to deal with.

The issue for me about Mueller is he has a real weak hand in the short term and a decent hand long term. I say this because if Mueller indicts someone big like Don Jr., he’s bound to be fired one way or another. But once the new House is sworn in, they can demand he — and everyone on his team — tell them everything they know. That, in turn, will get Trump impeached as he will anyway for a whole host of things ranging from abuse of power to “light treason.”

Speaking of “light treason,” it seems going forward that the only thing the Senate would get anywhere near convicted Trump for is whatever it is he talk to Putin about in their hour long secret meeting. If the House talked to the American translator of that meeting and found out Trump really did conspire against the United States, while it wouldn’t meet the Constitutional definition of treason, it would definitely would get pretty damn close from a political standpoint.

Having said all that, it definitely seems as though the first quarter of 2019 is going to be damn bumpy. And if the economic consequences of Brexit turned out to be Trump’s ultimate undoing that would be a fitting end to this political nightmare that we find ourselves in.

Shall We Play A Game? — Wargaming The #Trump V. #Mueller Political War

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

It seems pretty obvious to me that every moment Trump doesn’t strike first against Mueller is a moment wasted. It seems from a politically strategic standpoint it would be best for Trump if he struck first and struck first hard. I would fire Mueller as quickly as humanly possible, then pardon everyone involved in what happened and then hunker down for the next two months. I don’t understand why Trump would wait until either Mueller strikes first or the House officially flips.

It just doesn’t make any sense.

So maybe something’s going on that I don’t know about. Maybe, there’s a lot going on that I don’t know about. But I will be shocked if this “phony war” between Trump and Mueller lasts until January. It makes a lot more sense for Trump to strike Muller now during the holidays than wait until people might have their fully attention focused on Trump in January.

I honestly don’t know what is going to happen at this point.