Category: From The Editor

‘Own It’ — #Lyrics To An R&B Pop Song About Barbara Palvin

Now, please take this into consideration — I just find Ms. Palvin uniquely gorgeous and of the moment. That’s it. And I’m bored. The title comes from a interview of her wearing a shirt with “Own It” on it. I feel like the director character at the beginning of Madonna’s Material Girl video. Ms. Palvin is a real stunner and I just feel like writing song lyrics and she happens to be on my mind at the moment. That’s it. Leave me alone. This would be a slow pop R&B song like Miguel’s “Coffee.”

Own It
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

she’s spins heads wherever she goes
boys gawk and stare
looking at her only on a dare
lovely as can be
her blue eyes sparkle in the sunlight
she’s of the moment
’cause she knows to

own it
own it
don’t blow it
own it
own it

when she walks the catwalk
the cameras squawk
people talk with every spin
they have thoughts of sin
but they can’t do anything
she’s out of their league
’cause she knows to

own it
own it
don’t blow it
own it
own it

[bridge]
what more can you ask for
we’re ready to see
what comes next
with her in our view
her leaving makes us blue

nothing more to say
but she’ll always have her way
leave you with regret
’cause she makes a bet to

own it
own it
don’t blow it
own it
own it

A Beauty Of Note: Barbara Palvin

Photo: Google Images

By Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I like to think I have an eye for beauty and right now the woman who’s caught my eye is Barbara Palvin. Something about her is very of the moment. While Emily Ratajkowski’s imperfections are a hallmark of her stunning beauty, to my mind, Ms. Palvin is the complete package.

From past experience, I’ve learned not to write too much about any woman in the public eye because inevitably someone, somewhere freaks out about it. So, I’ll be brief.

Ms. Palvin is gorgeous and I wish her well with her career.

#FOTUS: 2018 Mid-Terms & ‘Obstruction, Collusion & Coercion’

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

It’s Broidy. Broidy is the babydaddy. He has to be. He has to be. He has to be.

Having said that, let’s daydream about what if Trump is the babydaddy. If I was a Democratic strategist and Trump’s theoretical and alleged coercion of Ms. Bechard to get an abortion in exchange for $1.6 million was proven somehow, I would ditch “A Better Deal” and plow money into the slogan: “Obstruction, Collusion, Coercion.”

That’s how you bring about a Blue Wave and end this American nightmare we’re living through right now. I only way this because Trump has no shame and the Vichy Congressional Republicans will never impeach Trump for any reason.

But if you can bang into the mind of a liberal Republican woman in the Philadelphia exurbs the slogan “Obstruction, Collusion, Coercion” you have a damn good chance of winning back Congress. The idea that a Trump coerced a woman to have an abortion in exchange for $1.6 million would be pretty damning. It’d leave a welt, if nothing else.

The Obstruction, Collusion, Coercion slogan is pithy and catchy and powers home the stakes of the mid-term vote. If you could prove coercion somehow….whoa buddy. That’d be pretty deep. Obstruction and collusion aren’t very sexxxy and they’ve already been baked into what voters believe about Trump. But the last issue, that of coercion, if you could prove it, well, that’d be difficult for Rudy to throw his spaghetti at. At least I think. Before it was over with, Rudy would have us believing $1.6 million for an abortion is “nuisance” money for Trump and, besides, you know broads, they love getting abortions at the drop of the hat because of the liberal homosexual agenda that the criminal deep state cooked up after they killed JFK.

Yet all of this is moot because Broidy is the babydaddy and I’m making a fool out of myself and I really need to shut up and look for a job.

Things Are Pretty Quiet

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Huh.

Things are extremely quiet. I have barely any traffic on this site anymore and it sure does seem like things have been wrapped up one way or another in the whole #FOTUS situation. It makes me wonder if it’s Elliot Broidy who’s the babydaddy, what I missed. If there was any fact that we already knew about that I simply misinterpreted or if whatever the powers that be know that I don’t know wasn’t readily available.

I struggled to figure out how to get some closure and it came from me allowing myself to accept that it was Trump who was Bechard’s babydaddy. But if it’s Trump, no one cares. So, while it makes me feel better to believe it’s Trump, it must be Broidy. It has to be. That’s the only explanation I can think of.

Now I have to think of something else to bide my time with.

The issue for me is that if it was a cover story, it was a pretty brazen one. But obvious it wasn’t a cover story because no one cares. Obviously, someone looked into it and they quickly learned it was Broidy. That’s the only thing I can think of. It’s weird. It’s really weird.

Really, really weird.

V-Log: Idle Rambling On The #FOTUS Theory

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Just rambling.

How The #FOTUS Affair Revel Would Go Down From My Point Of View

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I am going to give you a tick-tock of how the news that someone, somewhere had broken the nut of the #FOTUS Affair Theory and proved it was real.

One reason why I feel there’s not much going on right now is I haven’t seen an uptick in people accessing this site from LA, Washington D.C. and NYC. But, to let you in on a little weird observation, I have noticed something odd. In the last day, two people who were barely visible in my logs accessed this site. One person was from China and one person was from Russia.

The person from China appeared to use some sort of translation software on the site. I think. Something on their end was unpacked that would give me some indication that may have happened. Meanwhile, the Russian person popped up via a weird search engine then vanished. Now, I’m going to plant my tinfoil hat firmly on my head and speculate that….is it possible there’s some chatter bouncing around email and phones that super secret people monitor and they know something I don’t?

It’s completely baseless and bonkers, but it’s weird.

I don’t know domain names of people accessing the site so if, say, someone in New York City access the site all I know is that that is where they are. They could be a homeless person with WiFi access as best as I can tell. But I would have a pretty good idea something was going down if there was an abrupt uptick in access from any of the major media or political areas of the country. Right now, I got squat. Very few people — barely 20 — look at this site on a daily basis and generally I’m just talking to myself.

But let’s say that abruptly changed. Let’s say there was a rush of people from LA, NYC and DC. I would expect those visits to be Google searches. If people were being interviewed, they probably would freak and search this matter and find my babbling pretty quick.

That, so far, has not happened. So that leads me to believe not much is going on and, in fact, maybe someone from, say Buzzfeed or The Times asked Playboy and they laughed at them over the phone and all of this a joke and I should just shut up.

Let’s go a little farther — after that rush of people from LA (Playboy people) there would an enormous rush of people from D.C. the moment reporters turned around and said, “Well, any comment Mr. President?” If that happened, I would get really excited and run around the neighborhood screaming.

Nothing is happening right now. Nothing. I get no sense anyone cares and this is pretty much a dead end at this point. Though, I will tell you if you want me to keep writing about this get people from LA, NYC and DC to access this site on a regular basis. That would definitely get my juices flowing.

As it stands, I’m struggling to give up on this. It’s Broidy. It has to be. Broidy’s the babydaddy and all this is a joke. The alternative is jaw dropping.

V-Log: The FOTUS Affair (Theory) & Citadel Playboy

by Shelton bumgarner
@bumgarls

I wonder what would happen if someone from a major media organization asked Cooper Hefner what Playboy Enterprises knew about the FOTUS Affair theory. Would he stonewall or would he fold like France in 1940. That’s a very interesting question.

My gut tells me he’d fold.

He has every reason to help someone from another media company find out the truth of the matter. In this video I talk at great length about all of this. It’s pretty good.

Waiting For Peter K. Stris Comment & Playboy’s Community As Source Material

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

The point of me continuing to talk about this is I just want to know one way or another what happened. I want closure. If Elliot Broidy is Bechard’s babydaddy, then I can go back to working on my novel. I just hate this not knowing. I hate the cognitive dissidence of it obviously being Trump on the face of it, and yet there being, like, zero datapoints for it being either Trump or Broidy.

It’s really frustrating.

I would be, at this point, content with a blanket denial from Bechard’s lawyer Peter K. Stris. Just tell me she didn’t bang Trump, doesn’t even know him and I’ll be content. Then we’d have the official statement.

Meanwhile, if I had the resources, I will fly to LA and try to ingratiate myself into the Playboy Bunny community. If I worked for The New York Times I will, like, call Cooper Hefner up directly say, “Bruh, what do you know?” I think if there’s any there there — which there may not be — we could guilt Playboy into fessing up. They have a huge vested interest in being the good guy in this imbroglio. Think of the sudden relevance and positive buzz they would get if they helped bring down Trump — or at least gave him a nasty political bruise? I would be shocked if their corporate self-interests would trump them helping The Resistance. If they did help in any cover up that would be seriously uncool, Playboy.

I guess what I’m saying is if you want to know the truth of this imbroglio, figure out a way to crack the Playboy Bunny community nut. Think of who we’re dealing with. Gorgeous, catty, gossipy young women who share everything and see themselves in a sorority. I would be completely flabbergasted if Bechard had not confided in one of them about who she was seeing, be it Broidy or Trump.

Anyway. I guess I hope we could shame Playboy into confessing whatever they know.

But simply don’t know. It could go either way at this point. It really could.

My Prediction: The United States Will Be At War With The DPRK By August 2018

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I have predicted this several times in the past, but while we were busy minting coins for the summit, people thought this was uninteresting, but maybe not so much anymore: we will be at work with North Korea by mid-August 2018.

I predict this because Trump lacks basic human empathy and I doubt he would see the loss of 1 million lives in exchange for there being no Blue Wave and he reaching the poll numbers he so craves. So, that’s my logic at least.

We’ll see what happens.