Tag: conspiracy theories

Mystery Of The Universe: How Does AOC Keep That Smoking Hot Bod Under Wraps?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Because of her politics, the fact that AOC is drop dead gorgeous is a far more touchy subject than you might think. On Twitter, at least, you can’t even make a joke about it without people jumping down your throat.

AOC being hot and young.

Ok, I get it, we have to judge her exclusively on her mind, not her looks.

Or, should I say, we SHOULD judge her exclusively on her mind, not her looks. But can you imagine the epic blow up on social media and the hysterical MAGA echo chamber if even ONE photo of AOC in a skimpy bikini somehow was leaked? It would break the Internet.

The Right would demand her expulsion from Congress while at the same time they might break their penises from masturbating so hard to the picture.

Which, of course, is exactly why she keeps her physical beauty under wraps. But you have to hand it to AOC — she’s been very, very lucky. It says something that there is NOT ONE photo of a young “Sandy” in a string bikini enjoying a hot NYC summer on some rooftop.

It’s crazy.

The demand for such a forbidden non-existent bikini picture is so potent that people keep coming to this site thinking I have one, when all I ever do is write about how the pictures they want so bad don’t exist!

Maybe there’s something going on that I don’t know about. It is possible that she closes off beaches so she can wear a bikini? Are the press protecting her in some way? If so….lulz. I don’t care.

I totally get why she is on lockdown about such things. I just find it really hysterical that so many people search for such photos, thinking that somewhere on the Internet they exist.

But it is really sad that she has to be so careful about her body. She’s human and we should be able to respect her mind while at the same time she have the right to wear a bikini in public if the mood hits her. And, yet, here we are, with that being impossible because of what renobs the Right is made up of.

Screw NeuralLink, Give Me A Mindcap

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I joking — not joking — still think that it’s at least POSSIBLE that some sort of digital teleplay technology is floating out there in the depths of Big Tech. Which, of course, opens up the possibility of some sort of technology that would do the same shit that Elon Musk wants his NeuralLink to do without drilling into anyone’s brain.

In Arthur C. Clarke’s novel “3001” everyone wears a mindreading device called a Mindcap. I would much, much rather wear a Mindcap than drill a hole in my head for something like a NeuralLink.

And, yet, it seems as though if any form of digital telepathy actually exists, it’s super top secret and never something that would be commercialized for the average person.

Which I think is a shame.

Why Conspiracy Theories Are Dumb

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I saw recently where it’s actually KNOWN that Tik-Tok is tracking the location of specific, individual users of the service….and it was a lulz. And that’s the thing about the vast majority of conspiracies — we actually know about them. Or, put another way, typically, “vast conspiracies” inevitably get discovered and accepted and then we move on.

So, I suppose what’s really going on with crazy conspiracy theory people is they believe there are sooper secret conspiracies that would rock the world, change the world if they were discovered. This is kind of a sick sad world kind of thing to believe because there are literally only one or two conspiracies that I can believe would actually change anything if they were proven to be real.

One is — if we learned that a combination of the mob, the CIA and Castro murdered JFK, that would probably cause serious real-world implications even today. The other is, I don’t know, the US government is hiding space aliens at Area 51.

That’s all I got. If you can’t prove those two conspiracies, I just don’t have much hope for you. Though, I would add to the two above the vague notion that Big Tech has the ability to read our minds. If you could PROVE that Tik-Tok was reading my mind against my will, then, yeah, that type of “mind rape” might cause a war between China and the US.

But, in general, when it comes to conspiracies, either we already know about them and don’t care, they’re out of date and meaningless or whatever was going on at one point isn’t going on anymore and we’ll never, ever learn the truth.

What If I’m Right & Big Tech Can Read Our Minds?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I don’t really believe Big Tech can read our minds. I just don’t have any cold, hard evidence I can point to and have someone who is “normal” believe me. The idea that the technology exists — but is somehow being hidden — for technology companies to peer into our minds is just too fantastical for anyone with a “normal” life to take seriously.

So, I’m just daydreaming about this. I like to run scenarios and so I’m just thinking out loud. I’ve done this before, I think, but I feel like doing it again just for fun and to get it out of my system.

The key thing would be who knows that this technology not only exists but is being used in a practical manner for commercial reasons? A subsequent question would be, of course, if Big Tech is monitoring our minds, then what can the NSA? The NSA is often times a few years more advanced in such technology because there is a practical intelligence use for it.

In fact, one reason why I have my doubts about Big Tech being able to read our minds is it would be such a huge, powerful secret. It just doesn’t seem like the type of thing that could be kept a secret. Of course, if you limit your concerns on this issue to just Tik-Tok being able to read your mind, then the possibility such a secret could be kept grows significantly.

What is interesting — an a little disappointing — to me is if Big Tech eased us into the idea that Digital Telepathy existed, then we could get cool shit like $1,200 “mindcaps” that would replace an array of existing media devices. We could, maybe, “watch” TV and movies using our own minds. We could send “mind mail” to each other. Record dreams. All sorts of interesting commercial applications — and abuses — come to mind. Strange Days and Dreamscape are two movies that come to mind that play with such technology and its practical, real world applications.

I suppose the fear — if such technology exists — is that people will freak out and want to storm Silicon Valley so they can burn it to the ground. The idea of “mind rape” being used in regards to Digital Telepathy definitely does enter your mind when thinking about such things.

Anyway, I have no proof. Just a mild unease. Whatever Tik-Tok is doing — if it’s doing anything — seems to be most potent when it comes to things associated with the body. When Tik-Tok pushes you a video that seems to make reference to things about your own fucking body that only you know….that’s enough to weird you out.

And it’s not like when Target started sending pregnancy related stuff to a house of a teenage girl who hadn’t told her folks yet. I’m limiting my concern to only those specific instances when Tik-Tok pushes me a video for something that is very similar to something I’ve thought about really hard and there is absolutely no one or no thing that knows about it besides me.

The issue for me is — either way, there needs to be some regulation. If Digital Telepathy exists, we need regulations and if it’s just an instance of alographtms being really, really good…we need regulations.

Gaming Out The ‘Secretly Dead Queen Elizabeth II’ Scenario


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I do not believe any of this is really happening, but it is entertaining to think about. I have a lot of questions about how feasible it would be to hide Queen Elizabeth’s death for a few months.

Who knows.

The Crown could have used deep fake technology for the Queen’s Christmas Address. And, really, if they wanted to shut people up, all they would have to do is wheel her out and let her wave a little bit in public.

It seems like there are two scenarios in this possible conspiracy theory.

  1. The Queen is just really, really ill
    In this scenario, the Queen is lingering on her death bed, or is bed ridden and what the Crown did was have her give her address then use deep fake technology to make her look far more well than she really is. So, her voice was real, but her image wasn’t.
  2. The Queen is dead.
    In this scenario, the whole thing is a lie.

    How they would get away with that last one is anyone’s guess. But I would propose that unless they’re willing to start murdering people to protect such a secret, that it would inevitably come out at some point — and result in the destruction of the Royal Family.

Is Queen Elizabeth II Secretly Dead?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Outside of a few things here and there, I don’t believe in conspiracy theories. The vast majority of them don’t make any sense or are poorly thought out. But, let’s play pretend and imagine one conspiracy theory that is at least interesting to think about.

Is Queen Elizabeth II dead?

The only reason why I think this is even something to consider is her public appearances have dropped off dramatically, and her last public address was recorded. And, authorities have said that her life will “change” in February — which is also when the 70ths anniversary of her being on the throne happens.

The theory is that the Crown REALLY wants QE2 to make it to 70 years on the throne, to the point that they would hide her death between now and February. Or it’s even possible she’s already dead and the address she gave was some sort of uber deep fake.

For me, the only weakness to this theory is how, exactly, they would keep something so huge a secret and how long they would wait between the 70th anniversary and the announcement of her death.

I don’t believe this is really happened, but it is an amusing concept.