Tag: expat life

Sometimes, I Wonder

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

There’s no reason for anyone from South Korea to care one bit about me. And, yet, to this day, occasionally someone from ROK will either look at my LinkedIn profile or look at this site.

It’s very curious.

I haven’t been in South Korea in a long, long time. For me, it’s a very romanticized era in my life, which is the inspiration for a six novel project. The idea that anyone that I know from my days in ROK would even think about me is something I find very puzzling.

I suppose I made a bigger impression on people that I realized. And I have to remember that the long-term expats in South Korea have a very, very, very long collective memory. And that doesn’t even begin to address all the Koreans who were around, watching, as I went rather bonkers for a few months in late 2006 – 2008.

It makes me wonder what might happen if I ever return to South Korea for a little trip. It’s not going to happen anytime soon, but there are definitely a few people in South Korea who would have a VERY STRONG reaction to seeing me again.

The ironic thing about it all is, of course, that I’m a very different person than I was back then. I’ve turned into a graybeard and have far more humility than I ever did while I was living in South Korea.

In a way, I wish people in South Korea would just forget me. And, yet, I have to accept that I was very much a larger than life figure for a brief and shining moment a long time ago.

Young Expat In Love

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I was really….unique…in late 2006 – early 2007 when I was living in Seoul as an expat. I was a DJ at the best expat bar in the city while at the same time struggling to keep ROKon Magazine afloat. I lost both of these things around my birthday in February 2007. Despite this, the memory of what was going on at that point in my life is seared my mind to the point that it’s pretty much at the forefront of my mind constantly even to this day.

The late Annie Shapiro and me back when I was cute.

Given this situation, I have really, really dug deep into what happened to me in Seoul for this six novel project I’m working on. In fact, I would go so far as to say there are maybe six or seven people in the world who, if they should ever read these novels, will be able to pick out exactly what the inspiration from Seoul I’m using to flesh out it’s universe.

In my mind, at least, there is a direct one-to-one between elements in this six novel project at what I remember of my life in Seoul. It all reminds me of how in “Young Shakespeare in Love” you get to see the real world inspiration for some of the major elements of The Bard’s works.

My time in Seoul was some of the most creative of my entire life. It all came at a price, of course — it all kind of drove me bonkers. The pressure of effectively rather abruptly, within the context of the microscopic Seoul expat community being a public figure really, really, got to me. And all of it was happening in the context of how being an expat in South Korea can really do a number on your mental health just in general.

I love South Korea and its culture, but living there long term is like having a really intense relationship with a really hot, but very eccentric girlfriend. You get to have all this fun with her, but all that fun comes at a pretty significant cost.

Anyway, there is probably a 50 / 50 chance that I will return to South Korea for a little visit before I drop dead. My current goal is I’d like to return around the 20th anniversary of me getting there the first time around in the summer of 2004. It’s not looking like that is going to happen at the moment — I’m just a broke ass writer — but A LOT can happen between now and then.

What Is It This Time

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I often say that if you live in South Korea long enough as an expat it’s something of a black hole. There is an Event Horizon and you never really leave, even if physically you’re on the other side of the globe.

It was a long time ago and nobody cares anymore. (I hope.)

So, when I see in my Webstats that someone from Seoul obviously came looking for me online and found this Website, all I can think is, “What is it this time.” Add to this that someone I know from my time in South Korea who is still there looked at my LinkedIn profile leads me to believe there might be a little bit of chatter about me in Seoul currently.

I was in South Korea — and Seoul specifically — a long, long time ago. But I will admit that I had a very -VERY — memorable time there. I was doing a lot of things for a short amount of time. I was both a magazine publisher and a DJ. In fact, there was moment in time in late 2006 when I was probably one of the most famous expats in Seoul. I was a bit overexposed.

But that was all so long ago it makes me wonder what it possibly be happening NOW that would make anyone talk about me. It’s a very jarring situation where I’m pretty isolated at the moment and all I do is just work on my six novel project and aggressively daydream. Though given what’s going on with the novel and how much I draw upon my personal history to tell the story, I do still think a whole lot about my time in Seoul.

A cornerstone of the plot of the novel is I’m re-creating what was going on in my life in 2006 — 2007 only in a completely different context. Anyway, whatever is causing people in Seoul to be interested in me now can only be so bad. I hope, at least.

Today’s Itaewon Halloween Tragedy Is a Horror

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The thing about the huge death toll that is now being reported out of Seoul from a very tragic Halloween incident — 146 at last count — is if I was still in South Korea, I could have been among those who suffered. Itaewon was one of my go-to haunts back in the day.

When I was in South Korea, of course, things were a lot different — Itaewon was pretty sleezy, like 1970s New York City. But things had begun to change by the time I left for good.

The whole thing gives me pause for thought. It reminds you of how fragile life is on a day-to-day basis. I really miss South Korea and Seoul and I worry there are people I may know from my time there who were involved in this tragedy.

That’s probably one of the most jarring things about leaving South Korea — it’s pretty value free, in its own way. You can go, spend a few years there and when you come home, it’s like it never happened.

Though, I will note that there was a time there a few years ago when I somehow managed to continue to influence events on the ground in Seoul. That was kind of surreal.

Anyway, keep South Korea in your thoughts and prayers. They’re going to need them.

Are People Still Talking About Me In South Korea?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The idea that someone from one of the major English newspapers in South Korea searched for my name on LinkedIn is really beginning to worry me. I am well aware that there are many, many innocent explanations for this happening, but I know how big of a drunk, crazed asshole I was as an expat in Seoul and the more ominous scenarios write themselves — at least in my mind.

What I wonder is why now? What could possibly have changed recently that would make people think of me again? Or is my notorious legend so potent that people never really forgot me?

I love South Korea and Koreans and even hope to return at least once more before I shuffle of this mortal coil. But the idea that anyone would care about me all these years later is really unnerving. I’m very embarrassed by some of my drunken escapades in South Korea and I’m a dramatically different person. Again, at least in my own mind, I didn’t do anything THAT bad, but I was drunk and kind of nuts most of the time — especially in late 2006, early 2007. There are some stories to be told about what I was doing at that point in my life.

And, to be honest, there is a very interesting story to be told about what happened with me and Annie Shapiro when we were building up ROKon Magazine while I was also DJing at an expat bar in Sinchon called Nori. In fact, I spend way, way, way too much time dwelling on that story and how I could tell it literally.

That moment has passed, however. Though, I have to admit that I am drawing upon much of what I know about what happened between Shapiro and me while I was DJing at Nori bar as the basis for the six novel project I’m working on.

I’m so rattled about a newspaper reporter in Seoul searching my name on LinkedIn, I half feel like calling them up and asking, “Are you doing a story on me or something?”

Of course, if I wanted to put a positive spin on things, I suppose I might speculate that I managed to turn on of my student into a journalist and that’s why there is interest in me. Or something. Something not so dark and dire as I’m going to get roasted in a major Seoul newspaper for my bad behavior nearly 20 years ago.

Hopefully, all of this is a false alarm. Hopefully.

The Tell-Tale (Former) Expat

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I left South Korea a long, long time ago. There are young children nearly about to drive who were born around the time I left Seoul the last time. And, yet, South Korea can be something of a blackhole in the sense that once you pass its Event Horizon, you never really can ever leave.

Back hen I was fab in Seoul.

Now, let me be clear — I have a hyperactive imagination and I often spin some pretty wild tales from very, very little information. So, when I saw that I appeared in three searches on LinkedIn and one of them was from someone with the Korea Joongang Daily, I immediately thought the absolute worst. And by absolute worst, I mean maybe some sort of expose on me being a crazed drunk asshole when I was still in Seoul. Or something equally ominous.

I was kind of a huge drunk asshole for much of my time in South Korea and while I didn’t do anything that bad, I definitely did a few things that probably would get me “canceled” if, for some reason, I became a public figure.

I’m a very different person than I was when I was in South Korea. I have a lot more humility and, in some respects, it’s like I have had a brain transplant. But in this hypersensitive world, where apparently everything you’ve done in your entire life can be held against you until you die…well, you know. I can be a severely flawed person and times and being “pickled” in South Korea only aggravated that particular situation.

But I have a lot of wisdom now. There’s not much I can do about who I was nearly 20 years ago. You just try to be the best person you can be now.

Some other interesting things — another person to search for my name in the last week was an “author.” It makes me wonder if maybe my qusi-defense of J.K. Rowling maybe caught the attention of her — or someone like her. And, lastly, one of the pictures Google references in its Image Search for me is DEFINITELY NOT ME. I have retweeted too many of the guys sexxy pictures on Twitter, and the algorithm decided that the two of us looked enough alike to use his picture with my name. Ugh.

Everything is horrible.

Unpacking An Amusing Dream About Supermodel Gigi Hadid

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I don’t know what came over me this evening during a nap, but I had a very amusing dream about supermodel Gigi Hadid. In the dream, I was back in Seoul at a party somewhere and she stood right in front of me, really close. I tried to get her to go on a date with me, to no success. (Even in my dreams, I can’t score.)

The late Annie Shapiro with me back when I was occasionally a stud in Seoul.

But for a moment, I was happy.

I was happy because I was back in Seoul and something of note was happening to me. Everyday living in South Korea was an adventure for various reasons. I ran into all kinds of interesting — and sometimes famous — people while in South Korea.

Yet all of that was a long, long time ago. Even if I could magically go back to South Korea — or, move to NYC or LA — I wouldn’t be young. The entire context would be different. If I tried to date someone as young as I feel, then I would be seen like Dane Cook – a creepy older dude dating someone way, way, way too young for me.

I hate being old.

Whenever People From South Korea Look At This Blog, I Get Nervous

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Ugh. Whenever random hits from South Korea pop up in my Webstats I get nervous. I was a wild animal in South Korea and I did some things I regret. Nothing too bad, but bad enough to give me pause for thought when they come rushing into my mind as I try to get to sleep.

All of that was a long, long time ago. And I’ve changed. I really have. I’m not saying I’m not still larger-than-life and eccentric at times — I definitely am still all that — but I’m far more wise than I once was. And I don’t drink nearly as much as I used to and when I do drink, I don’t drink so much that I’m “pickled.”

As I’ve written before, I only even think about any of this because I worry that should I ever find any success that I’m going to have some unexpected ghosts from my past pop up. But as I like to say, you have to make decisions on what you do know, not on what you don’t know.

So, it’s definitely possible that I will be “canceled” as soon as I find any successful, but it’s also possible that…maybe I’m overthinking things? Most of my bad behavior in the past was nearly 20 years ago and was the result of drinking too much.

It’s like I’ve had a brain transplant — I’m a far better, far wiser person than I once was. I just hope I’m forgiven.

Is It Possible People In Seoul Are Still Talking About Me?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Last night, as I was falling to sleep, I found myself thinking about South Korea yet again. I don’t how it’s ever going to happen, but I vow to myself to return to my old Asian stomping grounds before I drop dead.

The late Annie Shapiro and me way back when.

Well, today I was looking at my Webstats and, lo and behold, someone from Seoul looked at this site. I have no idea why, or who, but it is interesting that they did so. And, given that they accessed the site from a messaging app, it seems as though I might have been the subject of conversation between two people and a link to this site was sent as part of it.

I honestly don’t know what to make to make of this.

I’m not a perfect person. And at the height of my emotional war against the late Annie Shapiro, I lived a rather outrageous life. It got so bad, in fact, that they put me in a book about crazy expats.

One thing I do occasionally think about is how all those Korean kids that I taught over the years remember me. I was a pretty weird (and bad) teacher. I wonder if they ever remember what a kook I was in class and if they ever talk to their fellow hagwan students about me.

I suppose it’s human nature for that type of thing to happen. And the older they get, the more they may think about me. I was — an am — a pretty unique individual.

Anyway. Not much I can do about it. I do, however, hope and intend to return to Asia at some point in the reasonably near future.

The Possibility Of Seoul Expat Life Interpolation In ‘I Want You Back’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I am so spooked by the publicity stills from the upcoming romcom “I Want You Back” that I’m beginning to think that either one of the screenwriters or one of the producers was, at some point, an expat in Seoul.

The only reason why this isn’t Nori’s women’s bathroom is the real Nori’s women’s bathroom has just one room and is across from an even more gross men’s bathroom.

And maybe even was a regular at Nori Bar in Sinchon where I used to DJ. This is both cool and rattling. It’s cool because expats in South Korea represent! It’s rattling because I’m doing a huge amount of similar interpolation in these five novels I’m working. (That no one in my family cares about.)

It’s one of those things where it’s not like I have a monopoly on the expat experience. And it’s getting pretty damn close to being 20 years since I got to South Korea the first time in 2004. So, I just have to accept that someone had the same I idea I had, in a vague way.

But as anyone who’s ever been an expat in South Korea can tell you — the place is a goldmine of creativity and human drama.