My Phoebe Waller-Bridge Dream Movie Vehicle

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls


I haven’t seen the most recent movies in the Pirates of the Caribbean series, so I don’t know what’s canon. But this a rough sketch out of a movie I think would be great for Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s career.

Capt. Jane Sparrow

Act I

We open to a young Luke Skywalker-type kid, only in Colonial America. The shot heard ’round the world has just happened. Revolution is in the air. He lives a boring, hum-drum life, but dreams of sailing the seas fighting pirates. He lives near the capital of Virginia, Williamsburg.

Maybe establish he has some sort of young lady in his life. (Eva Victor?)

Inciting Incident

Things change when he finds himself running into what appears to be a man who wants to rob him. The movie’s story begins when we learn it’s not a man, but a woman — Capt. Jane Sparrow.

Capt. Jane Sparrow quickly realizes she’s getting sucked into the revolution in a way that might not be very profitable. But at the end of the first act, she makes her decision — she’s going to save the young man and let the chips fall where they may.

Act 2

We have our adventure. Major figures of the American Revolution breeze through the story and meet Capt. Jane Sparrow. She finally agrees to be a “privateer” for the nascent American nation.

Midpoint — it appears as though Capt. Jane Sparrow has abandoned the cause and our Hero is forced to race around without her help. At about this point Capt. Jane Sparrow bangs our hero, rocking his world and setting up a love triangle between she and the Hero’s girl.

At the end of the second act, it looks as though he’s headed for the gallows. At the last moment, Capt. Jane Sparrow pops up and saves the day.

Act 3

This is where we really lean into the audience’s natural support for not only Capt. Jane Sparrow but the Revolutionary War. All kinds of swashbuckling happens.

Capt. Jane Sparrow kisses our hero after a final victory and hops on her ship, never to be seen again?

The End



Author: Shelton Bumgarner

I am the Editor & Publisher of The Trumplandia Report

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