Of Chris Pratt, Daniel Craig, Matthew McConaughey & #Writing A ‘Breakout Novel’ #AmWriting

by Shelt Garner

As I keep saying, I really, really hate how much cloyingly annoying preening I see on Twitter within its “writing community.” I have no beef with any of them. God speed, guys. Hope your “WIP” is a success. But one thing I fucking hate is seeing people go on about how their MC of their WIP is supposed to be this or that person.

Fuck that.

But no one reads this blog and I’m in the mood to write, so I thought I’d do the very thing I hate so much. Chris Pratt is who I think of when I write about my novel’s Hero. He’s got the ability to be both serious and comical. My hero is meant to be someone who likes to have a good time — and drink — but when push comes to shove, he grows serious and is willing to suffer for what he believes in.

In fact, the idea of the importance of having principles in an era when seemingly NO ONE has any is crucial to the story as I see it. I’m impressed with Pratt’s range and he’s the right age for the character. Setting the Hero’s age has been a real pain in the ass for a number of reasons. I’ve settled — for the time being — on 40, which is just about Pratt’s age. Any older, and some of the relationships I see for the character become, well, a little creepy.

Though, I will note, if I’m going to mentally masturbate about this subject anyway, that I could see Daniel Craig being interested in this character. Or, put another way, if he was interested in playing the Hero in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, he would be interested in playing this character, should the occasion arise.

Since my Hero is from the South, I could also see Matthew McConaughey being interested in the character. But, again, like Craig, he’s 10 years too old. But this is Hollywood we’re talking about, they don’t care about shit like that.

And, yet, Pratt lingers in my mind as the perfect person to convey my motivation for my Hero. My Hero is a guy that everyone underestimates because ostensibly he’s a womanizing drunk, when, in fact, he has a deepseated core of beliefs that he’s willing to fight — and suffer — for.

Now, let me be clear — the more serious I become about this novel, the less I care about any potential Hollywood adaptation. This happens in large part because as I grow more serious, the more I realize how unlikely it is that I’ll be able to even sell this novel, much less it become so successful that Hollywood would be interested.

About 99% of a novel’s “break out” nature is sheer luck. You spend years working on a novel and the context of the finished product is such that it hits the zeitgeist at just the right angle and blammo — it’s a huge hit. So, really, at this point, I have no idea if a lot of people are going to be interested in reading a thriller that’s really just a very diffused polemic on the Trump Era and extremism in general.

Maybe they will, maybe they won’t.

And there’s a lot of other things to think about. Someone could steal a mach on me. Or people will be tired of hearing about Trump. Or whatever. There are half a dozen reasons why everything might work with the novel but for things out of my control.

This novel is not “A Confederacy of Dunces.” If I can’t sell it pretty quick, then, lulz. I’ll just self-publish it. I have a pretty tight schedule in my mind, but a lot of things could still go wrong.

Wish me luck.

Author: Shelton Bumgarner

I am the Editor & Publisher of The Trumplandia Report

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