The Metrics Of Modern Dating

by Shelt Garner

Editor’s Note: I don’t know shit about women and I’m not pretending I do. Simply attempting to make some (at least somewhat) nuanced observations about modern dating life.

I’m repulsed by the notion of “the Red Pill” or “involuntary celibacy.” It just seems like men who aren’t willing to do what’s necessary to find a mate thinking up excuses as to why women have a responsibility to have sex with them, no matter what.

To be fair, there are, on the macro level, issues in the economy that make it more difficult for a lot of men to find a partner. But that doesn’t excuse men, on an individual level, from working harder to overcome such problems.

But enough about stuff like that, let’s address the most important issue of the day — ME.

There’s a particular young female Twitter liberal who really fucking grates on my nerves. She’s a lovely young woman and has a lot going for her. But she often whines about how difficult it is to find a boyfriend. Or she posts a picture of herself with a slightly passive-aggressive caption to it. I want to very gently give her some avuncular advice. Something along the lines of, “You’re blessed. Maybe if you realized that, your dating life would improve.”

But even that would probably enrage her. She’s young enough to not only not really know what she wants, but to then very publicly pontificate on what she doesn’t know she wants on Twitter.

So back to me. The issue is, I try to be the best person I can be. But by the metrics of most educated, professional women, I’m a big fat loser for any number of reasons. And, relative to their metrics, I guess they’re right. But it’s not their responsibility to date me, Jesus.

The issue for me, personally, is I simply don’t meet the metrics of the type of woman I want. But, again, if it was all that important to me to meet those metrics, I would obviously do something to at get a least a little bit closer to meeting them.

And, the really sad thing about all of this is I will never meet the required metrics. I’m too old. Too poor. Never had a career. So, in a sense, barring something pretty spectacular, my dating life is over for good.

I do know, however, that I’m a decent man who would treat any woman in my life well. Alas, no one will ever know.

Author: Shelton Bumgarner

I am the Editor & Publisher of The Trumplandia Report

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