by Shelt Garner
I finally finished Lightyear. But I’m drunk and lazy. So, this is going to be a “review” as done under those conditions. So, the key thing that pops out at me about this movie — which looks gorgeous — is how dull it is. It’s boring. I just didn’t feel any emotional connection to the story or the characters.
It was only because of that that I noticed how “woke” it is.
It was very, very woke.
Now, let me give you some context to all of this relative to me. I’m writing six (!) novels that I’m using as a creative outlet to rant at the top of my lungs about how much I fucking hate Trumplandia and, as well, the “woke cancel culture mob.” A pox on both your houses, as they say.
But I’m going to use subtext. I’m not going to deconstruct the white savior trope. Or have characters be gay just to make myself feel better. I’m not going to bang my political views over you, the reader, in other words. But the whole thing is designed to, at the end of six novels, layout why I fucking hate extremism from both sides of the aisle.
Anyway, back to Lightyear.
If it wasn’t so dull, I wouldn’t care how woke it was. If it had a good story that was compelling and didn’t have me thinking in the back of my mind, “Ahhh, of course, this is supposed to teach White People A Lesson About Relying Upon Brown People” because it was so dull, then that would be a whole different situation.
And, I’m sheepish to admit, I found myself rooting for Zerg. I agreed with his motivation. But, then, that might mean more about me not being the kid audience more than anything else.
Lightyear is not a bad movie. But it’s very much more a movie you might want to see on Disney+ as opposed to in a theatre.