Tag: pop

‘I Wanna See Trump’s Pee-Pee Tape’ — #Lyrics To A Novelty Song

These are just bonkers lyrics I feel like writing. They will never be produced, but I feel like telling this story. The music to this would be something like Shelia E’s Bell Of St. Mark. But you would probably with the proper composer not make it so obvious.

I Wanna See Trump’s Pee-Pee Tape
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

Trump was in Moscow doing his thing
it was the Miss Universe Pageant as I recall
he was in his hotel room when a thought occurred
he wanted to besmirch the sheets that Obama had slept on
so he brought some women in to do the job

I wanna see, I wanna see, I wanna see
I wanna see Trump’s pee-pee tape
I wanna see Trump’s pee-pee tape
I wanna see Trump’s pee-pee tape

Trump says he’d never do such a thing
that nothing like this would ever cross his mind
but we all know he’s a liar and this is all true
I wanna see, I wanna see, I wanna see
I wanna see Trump’s pee-pee tape

so we all know in our hearts
know it be true
that the Russians have dirt on Trump
that they’re hanging over his head
telling him what to do from behind the scenes
all because he wanted hookers to piss on Obama’s bed

I wanna see, I wanna see, I wanna see
I wanna see Trump’s pee-pee tape
I wanna see Trump’s pee-pee tape
I wanna see Trump’s pee-pee tape

[bridge]
one day, one day soon we all know
that tape will be released by the Russians
and we’ll see it in all its glory
but until then let me sing with all my heart

I wanna see, I wanna see, I wanna see
I wanna see Trump’s pee-pee tape
I wanna see Trump’s pee-pee tape
I wanna see Trump’s pee-pee tape

‘Mr. Wittes’ Baby Cannon’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Pop-Rock Song

Benjamin Wittes has a “baby cannon” he shoots whenever there’s some big news in the whole Trump Russia imbroglio. So, with that in mind, here are some lyrics to a “woke” pop-rock song about it. As usual, this is just a first draft and I don’t really have a beat so, it’s more of a poem intended to, at some point, to be sung.

Mr. Wittes’ Baby Cannon
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

it may be very small
but it has a powerful shot
tells us when the next revelation has arrived
whenever it goes boom
you know Trump is rushing around the room
not knowing what to do

Mr. Wittes’ baby cannon
tells you the time of day
Mr. Wittes’ baby cannon
it’s time for the Post or Times
to drop some news into our lap
and that’s a fact

what will it be today
all we know is there is a drip, drip, drip
that needs to be released in a powerful way
each day seems as though we’re going to be blown away
Mr. Wittes’ baby cannon let’s us know
we’re growing closer to the truth
soon enough it will go boom with one last gasp

we’re not going to have to wait long
soon enough the cannon will be all grown up
and Trump will feel the cannon’s roar in his rump
but until that day
we have to feel the pain of Trump’s reign

Mr. Wittes’ baby cannon
tells you the time of day
Mr. Wittes’ baby cannon
it’s time for the Post or Times
to drop some news into our lap
and that’s a fact

[bridge]
one day this cannon will go off
for the very last time
history will turn on a dime
return us back to when things were fine

until then we wait
debate the meaning of it all
trying to figure out
where these cannon balls will fall
I would try to tell you
but I don’t have the gaul

Mr. Wittes’ baby cannon
tells you the time of day
Mr. Wittes’ baby cannon
it’s time for the Post or Times
to drop some news into our lap
and that’s a fact

‘Donations’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Pop-Rock-Punk Song

This would be a rock song that had a strong electric guitar element to it, like something St. Vincent or P.J. Harvey might perform. This is meant to be a garbled-in-a-punk-way story of a woman talking about “donations” from her cheating man while alluding to the whole Paul Manafort / Trump / Russia imbroglio.

Donations
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

you come to my house like a rat
looking to make
your donations to the cause
I know I’m not the only one
you donate to, babe
the Russians are rushing
all around this town
getting donations
on the fly from thee

donations that your thing
donations make you sing
you’re already to make a donation
to some pretty thing

you donate your seed
you spread around
spread it all around
to make me look like a clown
we all know how it’s going down
you fling your donations here and there
one day I won’t be here anymore
Moscow will fall and you’ll see
all your stained sheets in the yard baby

you’re just a man in your fort
throwing donations over the walls
expecting the dresses to take it again and again
but let me tell you that you’re wrong
you’re not going to get your way anymore
I’m going to break free like a freak

donations that your thing
donations make you sing
you’re already to make a donation
to some pretty thing

[bridge]
don’t come around my way
anymore with your donations
don’t grease my sheets
with your icky donations

we’re done that’s for sure
nothing more for us to say
can’t wait until you’re out of my way

Collusion — #Lyrics To A Woke Folk-Pop-Rock Song

This would be a really hard folk-rock song like Neil Young’s Southern Man.

Collusion
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

collusion is so obvious to see
collusion sad to say
is what the president did commit
collusion is a rift
that may tare this country adrift apart

the man in the White House
has turned back the clock
forced us in the a corner
we did not want

what happens next is anyone’s guess
will Mr. Mueller comes in time
or are we going to go back in time

collusion is so obvious to see
collusion sad to say
is what the president did commit
collusion is a rift
that may tare this country adrift apart

[bridge]
what happens when we prove collusion
with the Russian threat
and Trumplandia doesn’t give a shit
are we doomed to live under Trump’s yoke

only the future will tell
what is our fate I’m afraid
are we going to escape this hell
will justice prevail

‘Antifa’ — Lyrics To Woke Pop-Rock Song

I have no connection to Antifa and barely know how to say the word much less understand exactly what they stand for, but I like the word and feel like writing song lyrics that are “woke” and strongly anti-Trump. So, you get these words. The music, in my imagination, would be much like Rage Against The Machine’s Renegades of Funk.

Antifa
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

when a black man bends a knee the nation freaks
but we got Nazis in the streets and that seems ok to thee
when a black man bends a knee the nation freaks
but we got Nazis in the streets and that seems ok to thee

since the dawn of time
people have wanted what is right
but you gotta fight for freedom
when the forces of evil darken the sky
you gotta wear your colors with pride
the Nazis won’t win in the the end
we gotta show them they’re not welcome
in the land of the free

when a black man bends a knee the nation freaks
but we got Nazis in the streets and that seems ok to thee
when a black man bends a knee the nation freaks
but we got Nazis in the streets and that seems ok to thee

there’s only one thing to do now
hit the streets with our rage on display
defend liberty from the brownshirts
the black and red will be there on the front lines
the black and red will be there on the front lines
while others refuse to fight against the fascists
antifa, antifa, antifa, antifa
will be there ready to move
antifa, antifa, antifa, antifa
will be there ready to move

[bridge]
they will call us the enemy
the squares and narcs will run away, afraid
but we’re ready to defend liberty
the liberty that’s under threat
from fascists

when a black man bends a knee the nation freaks
but we got Nazis in the streets and that seems ok to thee
when a black man bends a knee the nation freaks
but we got Nazis in the streets and that seems ok to thee

the streets will be ours
if we don’t leave with a few scares
then we haven’t done our job
the job no one else is willing to do

‘Aftermath’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Pop-Rock Song

The music to this would a solid pop-rock song like something you might hear from Arctic Monkeys or LCD Soundsystem. It’s about the aftermath of Donald Trump becoming president.

Aftermath
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

the center did not hold in November
the worst that could happen, happened
so now what, now what, now what
we’re going to have to deal with the
aftermath, aftermath, aftermath

Joe Biden, our nation turns its eyes to you
Joe Biden, our nation turns its eyes to you
Joe Biden, our nation turns its eyes to you

the aftermath of the insane campaign
makes me want to complain, complain, complain
but all that yelling would be in vain
the bad guys won and now we’ve got to fight
we’ve got to do what is right
history will judge us and we have only ourselves to blame

we’ve got to listen to the past and it’ll be a blast
things are going to get rough that’s a fact
but in the end maybe Joe will help us bring things back
yet we can’t just talk we have to act
the Republic is at stake, we can’t cut any slack

Joe Biden, our nation turns its eyes to you
Joe Biden, our nation turns its eyes to you
Joe Biden, our nation turns its eyes to you

[bridge]
there’s going to be a bumpy night
I sigh
it seems as though things may get rough
before it’s over with, my friend

the aftermath of the election
has given me much pause for reflection
but I don’t know what to say
maybe things will change
is my refrain

‘Many People Are Saying’ – #Lyrics To A Woke Pop-Rock Song

Trump is always saying “many people are saying,” so I’ve turn that into the chorus of a woke pop-rock song that is an homage to Harry Nilsson’s Everybody’s Talkin. The music for this, however, would be more traditional pop-rock in my imagination.

Many People Are Saying
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

[chorus]
many people are saying
at least that’s what I hear
many people are saying
many people are saying

[verse 1]
the world is collapsing around us
Rome is on fire
Rome is on fire
the center won’t hold, hold, hold
at least that’s what I hear
many people are saying

[chorus]
many people are saying
at least that’s what I hear
many people are saying
many people are saying

[verse 2]
our leaders lie to us
demanding to be heard
the herd follows their every word
but not me, but not me
I follow my own beat
at least that’s why I hear

[verse 3]
I have a dream that things
snap back into place
that we’re going to returns to the past
when America was already great
and the president wasn’t insane

[chorus]
many people are saying
at least that’s what I hear
many people are saying
many people are saying

[bridge]
now believe me what I say
we’ll be strong after this
at least I believe this to be true
if it’s not
what are we going to do

many people are saying
many people are saying
the president is insane
and we’re all to blame
and we’re all to blame

The Night The Lights Went Out In Texas #Lyrics To A Woke Country Pop-Rock Song

This is just me screwing around. I am not feeling very inspired right now, but I can see the possibility to tell a story of sorts about the Friday night went it seemed all this news broke about the same time. This would have a country pop-rock beat to it.

The Night The Lights Went Out In Texas
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

it was a quiet Friday night
I was getting ready for next day’s fight
it seemed as though Harvey was the news of the day
that he was going to cause many people pain

but wouldn’t you know Trump made a decision
one that would shake us to our core
remind us of how much he is a bore

soon enough it went across the wire
Trump had pardoned Joe Arpiao
a very bad man indeed
yet another norm broken without heed

that’s the night lights went out in Texas
that’s the night they pardoned a guilty man
don’t you think it won’t happen again
Trump’s got Mueller breathing down his next

I was shocked at this turn of events
shocked as can be
shocked at what was happening to my nation
believe you me

what’s worse the so-called president
made it so transpeople can’t serve
shouldn’t matter how you dress
or where you piss
as long as you serve the country with finesse

that’s the night lights went out in Texas
that’s the night they pardoned a guilty man
don’t you think it won’t happen again
Trump’s got Mueller breathing down his next

[bridge]
what can I say but we’re screwed
nothing is going to change for a while
but I’ll see you at the ballot box
if not next year then 2020, you bet

now let’s just accept where this is headed
keep our head down and focus on the test
it was a Friday night and it all came to a head

that’s the night lights went out in Texas
that’s the night they pardoned a guilty man
don’t you think it won’t happen again
Trump’s got Mueller breathing down his next

‘The Mooch’ — Lyrics To 50s Pop-Rock Song

For some time, I’ve struggled in my mind to understand what The Mooch’s name reminded me of, and today I realize it was Mack The Knife, especially with him saying he’s a “front stabber” not a “back stabber.” So, with that in mind, this is a homage to Mack The Knife in my doggerel style.

The Mooch
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

The Mooch tells you what he thinks
never mind that this fish stinks
he’s the guy who’ll tell you the truth
won’t stab you in back, that’s a fact

he’s a front stabber
keeps his blade sharp
to defend his boss
no leakers will survive on The Mooch’s watch
he’ll rough’em up
just for kicks

this show is never jumping the shark
he’s got to communicate that to the masses
the fake news just better shut up
’cause once he’s done with’em
they won’t know what hit’em
it’s The Mooch — POW

but just you wait and see, dee’re
The Mooch is on the scene now
the drama of the past
is just prelude
now we’re going to see something new
The Mooch is for you

we’re taking it to the next level
bring your pop corn folks
The Mooch is here
doing all the front stabbing
he’ll tell you what he thinks

Kellyanne Conway, Stevie Bannon & Jared
you ain’t seen nothing yet
I got you covered
the boss will be singing The Mooch’s praises
everyone in this nation will know the name
of The Mooch
of The Mooch
of The Mooch

‘Reince Priebus’ — Lyrics To A Pop-Rock Song

This is meant to be a homage to The Bare Naked Ladies Brian Wilson. Just screwing around, as always. Feeling a bit inspired. This one turned out to be a first draft mess, but it was fun to try to tell a story in verse.

Reince Priebus
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

refreshing Twitter
I see on my screen
news that’s so depressing
ebb and flow of history has its way
of grinding you into pulp
especially with this government
run by a dolt

soon enough I got a chuckle
hearing of Reince Priebus
having to crush a fly
for the guy with the fake hair
who tweets all day
putting us all on edge
that the end is near
suddenly I heard a cry from
the other room

I rushed into the room
rushed into the room
like Priebus to crush a fly
like Priebus to crush a fly
for that horrible guy
for that horrible guy

I discovered it was nothing
someone had just squealed
when the TV had announced
The Mooch was a lout
and Priebus was on his way out
oh this that all I said
you scared me for a moment
you had me rushing into the room

like Priebus to crush a fly
like Priebus to crush a fly
for that horrible guy
for that horrible guy

I worry for the fate of the Republic
thinking this may be the end
is it possible we’re autocracy
not as free as we were before
before the golfer grifted his way
to the Oval office where Priebus

[bridge]
where Priebus rush into the room
to crush that fly, crush that fly
but I’d like to think that’s not the case
I’d like to think we’ll be free again
we’ll all have to rush into the room

like Priebus to crush a fly
like Priebus to crush a fly
for that horrible guy
for that horrible guy

so we’re doing to have to defend our freedom
like a sad sack crushing a fly
quick as can be belief you me
we’re a city on a hill
at least that’s my view
if we have to rush into the room
like Priebus to crush a fly
that’s already by me