Tag: TikTok

Ok, Tik-Tok, I Get It, You’re Still Reading My Mind (Or Something): Alexa Chung Edition



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now, let me begin by saying because of a very strange set of circumstances a few years ago it’s at least possible that an FBI agent in Washington D.C. monitors this blog to see if I mention fashion It Girl Alexa Chung. This stems from a dumb misunderstanding.

Anyway, let me be clear: the conditions that caused me to briefly have a celebrity crush on Alexa Chung are now long gone. I still have an obsessive personality, but now I’m obsessed with the novel I’m working on.

The reason why I say all of this is today I was minding my own business, using Tik-Tok when I was served a video that was all these photos of Alexa Chung. I have long worried that maybe Tik-Tok is, I dunno, reading my mind, and the fact that I have not in any way do anything anywhere to indicate to Tik-Tok that I would be interested in Alexa Chung for any reason is very odd. I also got served Mighty Boosh videos today, as well, which is equally odd.

Now, I am well aware that extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof and so given how bonkers the idea that Tik-Tok is, in any way, reading my mind is, I’m leery of giving the idea too much credence. And, yet, I’m stumped how Tik-Tok’s “algorithms” could narrow down my personal interest in both Alexa Chung and the Mighty Boosh if I’ve done absolutely nothing of late online that would give them reason to believe that.

But I guess somehow they figured it out without reading my mind. But I am left with a lingering unease. Tik-Tok knows way too much about me and it’s a mystery how it happened.

PS: Dear FBI Agent — leave me alone!

Why Elon Musk’s ‘Neuralink’ Is Such A Dumb, Misguided Idea


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

This is so frustrating. Elon Musk wants to rummage around in my brain with something that requires drilling a hole in my head and hooking up directly to my wetware. I find this very dumb and misguided because Arthur C. Clarke in his book “3001: Final Odyssey” comes up with a far more practical — and less intrusive — answer: the mindcap.

Now, some context.

There’s evidence that Facebook has, at least, a patent on some sort of mind reading technology. And hardly a day goes by that I don’t use Tik-Tok and think its reading my mind in some way. It doesn’t happen very often, but when it does happen, it’s very spooky.

As such, if it’s possible they’ve figured out a way to read my mind in some way via a non-contact solution, why not develop a form of that technology that involves a skullcap of some sort laced with electrodes (or whatever) that touches my skull and allows the same things we hope for with the Neuralink without the risk of accidently being given a lobotomy.

It seems very obvious to me that if you could sell people at $1,200 mindcap that skips the middle step of wearing MX (VR / AR) equipment. It definitely would aid in the adoption of such technology if you didn’t have to overcome the resistance to wearing bulky goggles and allowed people to “see” and “hear” media using their own minds.

But, go ahead Elon, keep drilling holes in people’s heads.

The Secret, Soft Singularity: Real Talk About Tik-Tok (& Big Tech) & ‘Digital Telepathy’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The thing about what might amount to a secret “Soft Singularity” being perpetrated upon us by Big Tech is if they are doing it they’re probably screwing themselves over in more ways than one.

First, if Big Tech can read our minds then couldn’t that technology be used for some sort of $1,200 “Mindcap” in the future? If they gradually grew consumers used to notion that such technology actually already existed — or was on its way — then they could roll out a Mindcap and start a $1 trillion industry.

Meanwhile, if they keep leaning on their ability to read our minds (if they can, in fact do this) then should the technology somehow become rather abruptly known, then, well, all bets are off. People could freak out at the notion of some sort of “mind rape” taking place on the general public at the hands of Big Tech and that, unto itself, could cause some sort of anti-technology “Neo-Luddite” movement to spring up. It might not be very pretty.

And this doesn’t even begin to address the national security aspect of all of this. If the Chinese government is rooting around the minds of American youth via its so-called “algorithms” that might give an astonishing amount of practical information about what’s going on in the United States.

It’s not too difficult to imagine someone related to NSA or CIA person using Tik-Tok and giving the Chinese government an eyepopping amount of information about the United States intelligence community via their minds.

That sounds bonkers, but something is fucking up with Tik-Tok. Not a day goes by now that I’m not pushed content by Tik-Tok on my For You Page that goes beyond just listening to me via my phone or even monitoring what I’m typing via my browser…it goes straight into fucking reading my mind.

It seems as though Tik-Tok thinks they can get away with reading our minds in part because they reference things we’re embarrassed to admit we’re thinking about. Let that sink in for a moment. If that isn’t a sly way of keeping people from talking publicly about any potential mind reading technology, I don’t know what is.

But let me be clear — 99% of the “spooky” things I’m being pushed can be explained in some way other than digital telepathy. But there is that 1% that simply can not be explained in no other way than something that is not easily explained.

And, yet, I have no proof that I could point to and get the New York Times to look into this idea. But all of this is very concerning to me for various reasons.

Another Spooky Tik-Tok Pushing of Strangely Relevant Content


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So, I went to a restaurant today and had some tequila. Then, today, on my Tik-Tok “For You Page” what do I get, but an extremely relevant video about, you guessed it…tequlia.

I don’t know. I just don’t know. It seems as though I’m being really paranoid about this — which I probably am — and, yet…it’s spooky.

No Good Will Come From Big Tech Hiding A ‘Soft Singularity’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It seems as though there are three possibilities before us if what I fear is happening — a soft Singularity — is happening. One, somehow we find out and there’s a regular Luddite revolt against Big Tech, or we don’t find out. If we don’t find out, then either Big Tech subtly controls us or an autocratic government does.

So, it’s very easy to imagine President Mike Pompeo in 2025 using the power of a secret soft Singularity to track not only me down, but everyone I’ve spoken to about what a big piece of shit he is. It would be very easy for piece-of-shit President Pompeo to make me “vanish” using the information he’s gathered via the Soft Singularity.

Now, again, this is the point where I point out that for the time being the Deep State or “steady state” is probably the Good Guys in such a scenario. They’re not perfect — they’ve done plenty, PLENTY of shady shit — but if I had to make a choice between piece of shit Pompeo and the Steady State, I’m throwing my lot with the NSA.

Anyway, the point is, because of this secret soft Singularity, some crazy shit might happen without us realizing it. If the Chinese Government (Tik-Tok) and Big Tech (Google, Facebook) are rooting around in my mind right now there is going to come a point where they’re going to reach out and give people like me a “love tap” in the real world. Now, that sounds REALLY PARANOID.

And it is. It’s really fucking paranoid.

And I don’t even know what I mean in real terms.

But the longer soft singularity technology is being hidden, the more it’s worth to Big Tech to keep it that way. Thankfully, absolutely no one listens to me or respects me. So I could be literally telling you something that actually exists in the real world right now….and….absolutely nothing would happen.

I simply don’t have any proof. I have a bunch of hunches.

And I’m wrong a lot. Like all the fucking time.

The Future Is Wetware


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Before I begin, let’s mull something Trump said once. As I remember it, Trump rambled something about how “the Deep State” could “read our minds” via our microwaves or some shit. Is it possible it wasn’t what we thought — his addled brain coming up with bullshit — but something he actually knew about once he became president?

I doubt it, but it makes you think.

I mean, here I am thinking Big Tech can read my mind — just imagine what the NSA or MI6 can do. And it starts to get a little spooky when you think how much of our lives are rigged up to the Internet. The first thing we may have to worry about when the Singularity turns hard isn’t the Terminator, but our fucking government controlling us to an unprecedented level.

Anyway, back to the issue at hand: the future is wetware.

What I mean by this is, if you assume that the technology to read our minds already exists, what if you took it to the next level and figured out a way to use our own wetware as our next Internet. Using a device found in Arthur C. Clarke’s 3001: Final Odyssey, you could totally re-imagine human interaction with the digital realm.

You could send “m-mail” from mind to mind. Watch video in your mind’s eye. Listen to music in your mind. In fact, I would go so far as to suggest that it might even be possible to use your own mind’s processing power to help things along. That may be pushing it, but it seems something to think about.

The point of all of this is — why the fuck are we talking about Clubhouse — which is nothing more than a re-imagined rural partyline –instead of jawdropping changes in the human experience like the Internet became over about 20 years.

What is wrong with us? Where are our Snowdens of yesterday?

Anyway, seems like about $1 trillion is being left on the table because of the shortsightedness of the nerds of Silicon Valley.

I’m Telling You, Folks, Big Tech Can Read Our Minds


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

A number of things have happened recently that lead me to believe Big Tech can read our minds via our electronic devices — specifically our cellphones. The most conspicuous abuser of this technology is Tik-Tok.

Now, let me be very specific — I’m talking about instances where my For You Page on Tik-Tok presents me information fits a very specific metric: information that no one but me knows. So, we can dismiss any instances where I’ve spoken to someone about something, or texted, or messaged, or posted about some bit of personal information. I’m talking about a very specific type of information.

So, I’ve written before about Tik-Tok presenting me with information about women who have a very specific phenotype. So specific, in fact, as to be down to that of an individual woman. It’s beyond spooky. The most recent instance of this happening is with something gross — ear gunk.

I’ve been having an excess of ear wax recently and, until now, absolutely no one knew this about me. But, lo and behold, Tik-Tok was serving me ads about how to reduce ear wax. I’m well aware that such niche ads are everywhere these days and correlation is not causation.

But it is, if nothing else….spooky.

One day, when MAGA becomes technology-hating Patriot Party– it’s possible it’s mind-reading technology that they will really get worked up about.

What MSM Can Learn From Nascent ‘Tik-Tok Journalism’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Absolutely no one listens to me. But I will suggest, in passing, that MSM should study the growing number of people doing journalism on Tik-Tok. Such journalism is a lot like TV journalism, but it’s a lot tighter because they have only a minute — though that may be expanded to three minutes soon.

I read exceptionally well-written articles from the New York Times and they’re just too long. Give me 300 words and a Tik-Tok-style video instead. Unless something radical is done to traditional journalism, it may fade away entirely. Such a “radical” thing might be to re-imagine what a news story is. You can convey a lot of information via a Tik-Tok video and if you have the imprimatur of the New York Times on such a video, it would be quite good.

But, again, lulz. No one listens to me.

Even if I’m right, I won’t get any credit for it.

Tik-Tok Is Extremely Brazen About Reading My Mind Using Digital Telepathy


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Tik-Tok is going to get Big Tech in trouble. Let me give you an example.

Recently, I came out of the shower and looked on the floor. I saw how wet the floor was and thought about how I didn’t want to get my feet wet.

I did not tell anyone this. I didn’t write a blog post, text any one, nothing. The concept’s sole existence was in my mind.

Within moments, I looked at my Tik-Tok For You Page and, surprise, what video do I see, but one about to keep your bathroom floor from getting wet when you take a shower.

This type of thing happens so often with Tik-Tok that they have to be reading my — and millions of other people’s — mind.

If Tik-Tok has this technology, then Facebook and Google do, too. (Facebook has a patent on such technology, by the way.) And it’s possible that was why Tik-Tok was so bent out of shape about giving its algorithm to any new American owner — they were worried their extremely good, extremely intrusive Digital Telepathy technology would fall into the hands of the Americans.

So, I suspect China’s government is using Tik-Tok to read American minds.

Tik-Tok Can Read Our Minds


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Let me put some context to this — I have no idea if I’m right on this and, given my pretty bad history of making false assumptions, I probably am. And I would add that I generally don’t believe in conspiracy theories.

But hear me out on this one.

I have noticed from Facebook and Google and now Tik-Tok a level of knowledge about my private, mental dialogue that is inexplicable. For instance — why is it that Tik-Tok recommends videos to me of women who look eerily like my personal “one that got away?” They keep doing stuff like this to an extent that is enough to be very jarring.

And Facebook keeps recommending ads to me that make absolutely no sense unless you knew specific things about me that I have told no one about. No Tweets. No emails. I haven’t even vocalized them.

The technology to read people’s minds — in a very ham handed way — exists. It’s been perfected enough for Facebook to patent it.

I’m probably wrong. But how Tik-Tok, Google and Facebook could possibly know such things about me if I’m the only person who knows about it is extremely puzzling.