by Shelt Garner
I’m growing more and more nervous that we’re about two weeks and one Trump tweet away from unprecedented racial and political violence in the United States.
It seems as though if Trump goes bonkers because it suddenly strikes him that he may, in fact, be rightfully blamed for this pandemic clusterfuck that he’ll go transactional with his Twitter feed and “joke” that Asians and liberals should be reminded of the power of the 2nd Amendment. This would likely cause all his cocksucker MAGA dispshit followers to go on a deranged murdering spreed. Asians, liberals (like me!) and anyone else these fuckers could think of would be in harms way.
The, of course, Trump will turn around and say OBVIOUSLY we need martial law to control the situation — which, of course, he started in the first place. If that happened, Trump would be so fucking bonkers that really anything could happen. He could shoot out dickpics using the Presidential Alert System. He could just start ranting racist shit to anyone he didn’t like. He could pull out his cock at a press conference and start masturbating. Nothing. And I mean NOTHING would be off the table.
But even that wouldn’t cause us to have the political will to do anything about Trump. Or, if it did, it would only be because Moscow Mitch had finally squeezed out as many young hack MAGA Federal judges out of Trump. He’s already gotten his smash-and-grab welfare for plutocrats, so anything beyond that is a win for Moscow Mitch.
If things got insane enough, there might be a half-hearted attempt to do the Pence Pivot, but more likely Trump’s going to pick Don Jr. as his Veep. Gotta keep it in the family, you know. The Thousand Year Trump is here and not even 1 million unnecessary, preventable deaths is going to stop that. We just have to wait about 30 years for the macro demographics of the death of the Baby Boomers crossing the Browning of America so whatever’s left of America can go back to some sort of “normal.”
But by that point, of course, America will be so fucking dystopian that, well, lulz.
Prove me wrong, guys.