by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Some 30 years ago, the character Michael Stedman on thirtysomething said that it was official, he was “invisible to teenage girls.” Well here I am as I’m about to have my 50th birthday and twentysomething young women are actively going out of their way to avoid me.
I was having dinner last night and I noticed that I waitress was attractive and I made it clear I was looking forward to talking to her as she served me. That did not go over well. She must have got spooked that some creepy old dude wanted to talk to her, because she got switched out of having to be my waitress. The replacement waitress made up some bullshit excuse, but it was clear what had happened.
Ugh.
So, here I am, daydreaming about how I’m going date hot little numbers once I Make It Big and, lulz, in reality I can’t even get a cute young waitress to be around me. This is doing wonders for my self-esteem, let me tell you.
I suppose the case could be made that once I’m some huge, bestselling author the context of me being and old coot will change and cuties will be able to overlook what a horrible oger I’ve apparently transformed into in recent years. But I think one thing I have to realize is I don’t like what I used to do. I’m now an Old and, as such, I have to start to realize what I might look like in the eyes of young people.
I hate it.
