Author: Shelton Bumgarner

I am the Editor & Publisher of The Trumplandia Report

‘You Remind Me Of My Daughter’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Dance Pop Song

Now, I know that typically songs like this start with beats then go from there, but I enjoy telling stories in verse so you get this. It’s just for fun. It’s relaxing.

You Remind Me of My Daughter
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

you remind me of my daughter
you remind me of my daughter
you remind me of my daughter

you’re my kind of girl
I’ll never lie to you
lure you to my bedroom
we can watch shark week
you’ll be on my show
I’ll make you a star
after we go far, far, far

you remind me of my daughter
you remind me of my daughter
you remind me of my daughter

no know has to know
that you’re going to the show
because of what we do between the sheets
you can spank me all you like
I’ll be your little boy with a hiss
when people ask what we have together
I’ll just say with a smile

you remind me of my daughter
you remind me of my daughter
you remind me of my daughter

[bridge]
no one will understand
why you make me so glad
all the other girls will be envious
because they know I like it rough

you remind me of my daughter
you remind me of my daughter
you remind me of my daughter

‘Collusion Delusion’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Pop-Rock Song

The Russian bots are out in force today, trying to give our insane American Caligula some messaging via Twitter. I have nothing better to do at this point in the morning, so here is a first draft of an attempt to talk about this in verse. I just like writing song lyrics for no other reason than it’s relaxing.

Collusion Delusion
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

the Russian bots are out in force
they want the president to be a fool
in it to win it
they’re out to break our liberty
what are we going to do when they win
we have to be sure they fail
it’s our lot to shake free
they scream collusion delusion
when we know it’s they who’s crazy

collusion delusion
collusion delusion
collusion delusion
it’s bullshit

when will this all end
how are we going to fair
when our democracy is declared at an end
we have to fight the good fight, my friend
lend me your ears
hear as I shout
dare to dream a future of freedom
when the Russians are gone
and we can sing our own song

don’t listen to them when they say
collusion delusion
collusion delusion
collusion delusion
it’s all a sham
is what I say

[bridge]
what are we going to do
what are we going to say
when the Russians arrive on our shores
ready to go once more

so ignore what they say
we’re going to have our day
at least, that’s what I say
there’s no collusion delusion
I scream
hoping someone will hear in the void

collusion delusion
is bullshit
collusion delusion
what a farce

Jon Stewart Would Be An Ideal Presidential Candidate At This Point

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

This is just an idle daydream, but it seems to me that the ideal person to run against Donald Trump in 2020, should last that long, would be Jon Stewart. I say this because Stewart is everything Trump isn’t — funny, smart and self-aware.

Of course, Stewart, at least at this point, has zero political experience outside of his interest in 9/11 first responder rights and a little bit about veterans affairs. And, of course, there is the obvious issue that he appears to have zero interest in actually doing anything beyond running his petting zoo.

But the match up between Trump and Stewart would be one for the ages. And regardless, I think we would need someone like Stewart to take down Trump. Yet I honestly don’t know. The nation is so divided at this point that there’s no perfect person to do the job.

Trump is so powerful with 40% of the electorate and the economy is doing so well that it will be a difficult fight no matter what. Add to this the continuing struggle that The Resistance has with trying to find some sort of messaging beyond simply being against Trump and you have the makings of a pretty bad situation.

This doesn’t begin to address the issue of what happens if Trump wags the dog using Iran or the DPRk.

We’re going to have to just wait and see, I guess.

V-Log: An Anti-Trump Rant #Resist

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I got upset a little bit and did an lengthy anti-Trump rant.

‘Look My Way’ — Lyrics To A Pop Rock Ballad

I’m pining for a woman who I like but she doesn’t seem in the least bit interested. You know, the usual.

Look My Way
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

all I need all I want
is your time
a little bit of your time
and for you babe
to look my way, look my way
I don’t want to whine
I just want your time
I just want your time
I just want your time

you’re so kind
but I can’t figure you out
what is in your mind
why are you torn up inside
I wish you’d look my way
so I could sway to be my babe

I don’t want to whine
I just want your time
I just want your time
I just want your time

[bridge]
please be mine
let me hear you near me
give me a smile
and maybe let me
touch your thigh

but you’re going to walk away
leaving me only with fears that stay
’cause you won’t give me any of your time
just a moment of it
would be sublime
would be sublime
would be sublime

I just want your time
I just want your time
I just want your time

My Current Take On The #TrumpRussia Endgame

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

As of late March 2018, here’s my hot take on the endgame to #TrumpRussia.

It seems to me that what is going to happen is it will be a combination of Iran-Contra and the Monica Lewinsky scandals. Trump could very well be impeached, but he won’t be convicted and ultimately he not only survives but prospers as he grows more accustomed to the office of president.

What’s more, I still predict a major war against the DPRK (and maybe Iran) between now and August 2018. I say this for two reasons. One, Trump needs a Wag The Dog situation to get people talking about something else. Meanwhile, he wants to squash any chance of a Blue Wave happening this fall.

How To Use Time Magazine As The Core Of A ‘Twitter Killer’ #startup

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

The word on the street is that Time, Fortune and Sports Illustrated are for sale. Rather than let some insane Right wing nutjob buy them and turn them into a mainstream Brietbart, why not do something really innovative. Why not think outside the box and turn those the writers and editors of those three publications into something really unique.

The thing about Twitter is a lot of really powerful writers and editors use it as some sort of public salon where they sit around and talk about issues of the day. What if you designed a “Twitter Killer” made up of Time and its sister publications that had a similar purpose to Twitter but was much, much better.

It seems so obvious. It would be really cool and I feel it would be a near instant hit. What you do is you completely re-imagine Time. You accept that the the print magazine is doomed and have all the content that the magazine’s writers and editors otherwise produce dumped into your new Twitter Killer.

You could also use those very same writers as the seed group of users. They would invite their friends as you grew the service and it would help the service star off on the right foot. This is such an obvious application of Time that I don’t understand why someone with a lot of money doesn’t run with it.

Twitter sucks so bad that if you did as I suggest, it would be quite popular, quite quickly I believe. As I keep suggesting, you design the service by leaning on the concepts of Usenet from 20 years ago. But no one listens to me and the social media space isn’t exactly bumping anymore. People with all the money are too interested in AR, VR and automation to worry about something so blase.

But I really do like the concept. It’s really strong.

The ‘Unwinding:’ ‘Deep State Radio’ Talks John Bolton

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Oh boy. I’ve been listening to the latest episode of Deep State Radio which is about the appointment of John Bolton as National Security Adviser. The issue for me is it reaffirms everything I’ve been thinking the last few days, which is we are lurching towards a war with at least the DPRK, if not Iran as well. I’m glad that the smarty pants of Deep State Radio are also beginning to freak out a little bit as well.

We really need to accept to take the concept that we’re hurdling towards a massive Wag The Dog in the guise of a war with the DPRK. The issue is that a war with the DPRK — started about August 2018 — would be, in theory, the perfect way to prevent a Blue Wave from sweeping the House and Senate in November.

There is a real risk that we’re going to look back at all of this as such a crass, craven power grab on the Trump Administration that history will not be kind to anyone involved. My real fear, from what I’ve read, is that just as Rex Tillerson gutted the State Department, so, too, will John Bolton will gut the National Security Council staff. This will happen just as the United States is about to go to war with the DPRK.

What is even worse is, I may be low balling the risks of essentially World War III. What I’m saying is, we may have two major regional wars taking place at the same time — one against the DPRK and one against Iran. Throw in the massive amount of instability that would cause around the world, there is a real risk that India and Pakistan would threaten nuclear war. And Israel and Iran may have at it as well along the way. And there is a real chance that the Russians would use all of this as a cover for a major escalation in their low-grade war against Ukraine.

The point of all of this, as I mentioned, is to divert attention away from the domestic disasters of the Trump Administration. Try to remember what was going on in the United States in early September 2001. It’s really difficult. A lot of stuff went down the memory whole once 9/11 happened. So, too, will Stormy Daniels and #TrumpRussia go down the memory hole should World War III essentially happen.

I suggest you listen to this Deep State Radio. It’s really good and affirms much of my thinking about John Bolton and what could happen next with the DPRK, Iran and beyond.

What We Need Is A Good Movie About The Trump Era

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I’m struggling with a screenplay these days. I’m going to write it as a novella first and then once I save up the money, buy Final Draft and write it as a screenplay. But the point of the story is I want to tell one that really gets into how Trump has effected life on a personal level.

There have been a few movies like that, but nothing as seminal as, say, The Big Chill. That’s the type of movie I’m striving for, with maybe a little bit more drama. I have a lot of things I want to talk about in the story and they’re all coming together in one tidy project. I was the publisher of a magazine in Seoul about a decade ago and that story is really interesting, but I’ve struggled as to how to tell it. This story would be a way for me to do just that and that would be using as back story.

It’s been difficult to actually write the story. Part of writing a story as a writer is having to entertain yourself as you do it. So sometimes I get bored and stop working on this story, but I’m generally a creative person and I find myself wanting to write something again. So, I hope to return to this story pretty soon, if not today.

There is so much to talk about when it comes to this surreal Trump era we’re in. So much we can talk about in a story when it comes to how its changed how people are interacting with each other with such a troubling person as president. I have so much I want to talk about in this very thing in this story.

Regardless, it is going to take time. It’s going to take time to process all the batshit stuff that is happening because of Trump.

‘Spank My Booty’ — Idle Thoughts On The Current State Of The Stormy Daniels Affair

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

The sad thing is that even if we see Trump’s junk, he may very well not only survive but prosper. Whatever dark part of the American psyche Trump has tapped into is so strong, do powerful that we simply may not be able to get rid of him until he absolutely has to leave office unless he changes the Constitution.

Add to this the very real — and growing — danger that Trump will start a war with the DPRK and things as of this moment are not looking so great. It’s very possible that once Trump essentially starts WWIII, that Stormy Daniels will go down the memory hole and we’ll wake up in 8 years to a president even more conservative and bonkers than Trump.

I guess what I’m saying is we have to take seriously the notion that Trump is going to eliminate Ms. Daniels as a threat by willfully killing about 1 million people in Korea and beyond. I fear that we’ve not really processed that yet. This is really serious. The addition of John Bolton to the White House staff means Trump is at least lurching in that direction.

Additionally Sec. of Defense James Mattis allegedly has said he may not be able to work with Bolton. So, there is the off chance that Mattis — the only “adult” left in the Trump Administration may bolt and we’re totally, completely fucked.

This is personal for me because I used to live in South Korea. If I see Seoul razed on TV, it’s going to be pretty deep. It’s going to be one of the worst moments of my life to date. But there’s little any of us can do at this point. So, it’s possible that Stormy Daniels may have significantly more power in her hands than any of could possibly imagine.

It’s really weird, though, the power Trump has over his supporters. What, exactly, do they at this point love so much about him? Why does it seem that the typical rules of politics don’t apply to Trump? How did we get here and how do we make our way out?

It seems as though maybe the United States suffers from structural Constitutional rot and we may very well be careening towards an actual civil war. Or, put another way, the United States as some have quipped, is going through a slow motion Civil Cold War. It could be that at this point the only thing stopping us from having an actual real civil war is, well, Donald Trump. Or that we’re just too generally meh about politics on an existential level that it’s just not going to happen any time soon.

All I can say is, hurry up Stormy Daniels. We really need to see whatever “proof” you may have. The fate of the world may be at stake.